Olympics, schmolympics. The real challenge of the human spirit returned to NBC yesterday in the form of America’s Got Talent. Sure, winning 8 gold medals for swimming is impressive, but would Michael Phelps be able to withstand a critique from Piers Morgan without cracking? I doubt it.
Seriously, though, NBC’s inexplicably top-rated reality competition is down to 40 contestants, and we saw 10 last night (with 10 more scheduled for tonight’s telecast). And lest you think there’s nothing on the line, apparently last seasons winner, Terry Fator, just signed a $10,000,000 deal in Vegas. That’s right. Eight zeroes.
Extreme Dance FX not only had the daunting task of being the first act up for judging, but also the challenge of bringing clog-dancing into the future. Mission accomplished, if by "future" you mean "1987." Whether or not this is an act worthy of advancing to the next round depends on how you feel about the following five-word combination: Sequins, clog dancing, “Push It.”
Next up came the James Gang, the anachronistic street performers from New York (embedded below). Sadly their Idlewild-esque act didn’t translate to television. I loved the music, I loved their dancing, but somehow it all felt too small on the small screen. The fact that their dove-producing magic trick crashed and burned when a dove fell out of one of their jackets didn’t help either. It did, however, produce the Hoff’s best exclamation of the season, when he informed them that their act was "as American as the Olympics." Too bad the Olympics are Greek.
The second-funniest moment of the night arrived when Hasselhoff admitted that Derek, the BritneySpears impersonator, was making him question his sexuality. That not unpredictable event would’ve been enough on its own, but when Morgan backhandedly (or actually, quitefronthandedly) insulted Hasselhoff’s dancing skills, the former Knight Rider star got up toreveal his jeans back pockets, emblazoned with “Back Hoff” in olde tymefont.
Such inspired lunacy outshone even Elite, that act in which a10-year-old girl beats up her father (but this time dressed as apirate); Ronny B, who did his best Hector Lavoe impersonation, but endedup looking more like William Hung; and The Cadence, who played "BeatIt," with six drums and a canned guitar line. I guess "Beat It" couldbe funny, considering they’re a percussion band, but maybe not. And as for Jessica Price, even if affected, torturedsinging is your thing, it’s not a good sign when the audiencedoesn’t recognize a song as iconic as "TimeAfter Time" until the chorus.
All in all, we didn’t see anything truly impressive till the 45-minute mark last night, when Shimshi hit the stage. It’s been a while since I’ve been impressed by a magic act, but anyone who combines gymnastics stunts withcard tricks can’t be too bad, right? Um, not according to Morgan and Hasselhoff, who both hated Shimshi’s entertaining routine (embedded below). Ah well, there go my dreams of being atelevision personality/talent judge.
We finished off the night withDC Cowboys’ souped-up line-dancing to "Footloose," and Neal E. Boyd’suplifting version of "Somewhere." In classic AGT style, thebiggest sob story was saved for last — Boyd’s grandmother recently died — but there’s no denying the guy has actual talent. Better still, the Olympics-induced hiatus seems to have improved the telecast: No more gratuitous reaction shots, no cutaways to Jerry inthe wings, and even a reduced number of commercial breaks and attempts atheartwrenching backstories. The producers did manage to save one shocker till the end of the show, though,when they revealed that Donald Braswell, the man who couldn’t sing for11 years (and therefore won the gold medal in Sob Storying), had replaced theRussian Bar Trio in the final 40.
So what do you think? Could thequality of the show finally be on the rise? Could the Hoff take downDerek in a hip-gyrating showdown? And am I the only one who just wantsto vote for Sharon? Start voting!
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And lest you think there’s nothing on the line, apparently last seasons winner, Terry Fader, just signed a $10,000,000 deal in Vegas. That’s right. Eight zeroes.
Umm… I only count seven zeroes!
This show is so bad. How the hell could Ronny B get through. I watched till I saw Shimshi perform then I turned the channel. HE was the best thing of last night and I couldn’t have voted for anyone else. They all sucked, or weren’t impressive. I seriously doubt I can finish watching this show till the end.
I feel dumber after watching this. Glorified Gong Show.
It is eight zeroes, karen, because the deal was for $100,000,000. And Jaya, it’s Terry Fator, not Fader.
I watched the first two seasons, but this season is seriously bad. I didn’t even bother to watch last night; after the true talent of the Olympic athletes, and some of the losers that the judges have put through, I can’t take the show any more.
Was the Hoff drunk last night??? Everybody I talked to asked that question….and where the heck is the talent, last night was horrible, who picked these top 40’s. The only good act was the opera singer and Pierce only keeps the chicks on so he can google over there bodies. Seriously, let’s see some talent like Eli Mattson, where is he? We need judges next year that can really see talent to pick the next year’s 40….
Is there enough room in Vegas for The Hoff and his ego?
I am sorely disapointed with the “talent” this season. I seriously have a hard time even liking most of these acts! Did we run out of true talent already? The only ones worthy of voting for last night (on talent, not sob story) were Shimshi and Neal. What a waste of two hours for a mere 10 minutes of entertainment.
The only talent on this show are Sharon’s plastic surgeon and Hasselhoff’s agent. Self defense girl is about as entertaining as a WWE match (I know, my son and hubby love WWE). What’s next. Defeating spaceships and aliens.
I just ate Fred Berry (Rerun).
I blubber a lot. Maybe it’s because I am 90% blubber. Only cut vocal cord guy has a better sob story. You’ll see. It will be between him and me. Do you tink it was fixed that he made it?
Grandma was smiling down on me, but it was hideous. SHe had maggots crawling around her eye sockets and was just all bones. Um, bones. I gotta go get me some ribs!!!
I love this site. At NBC they are going orgasmic over this show and Neal. The show wasn’t even entertaining. Thank goodness for the DVR.
I think you may find a few acts worthy of the prize but I agree with someone calling this show a glorified Gong Show. The acts that come out of this show or the bad acts that these judges chose to move on is mind boggling.
Man you people need to relax. You watched a quarter of the semifinalists and have decided there is no one with talent. I agree that last nights crop was a bit weak, but if you have been watching the show the whole time you should know there are better acts coming in the 30 remaining contestants.
I can’t believe that no one mention that Hasselhoff was under the influence of something. He slurred his words and no way did I take any of his comments seriously. In fact I struggle to watch him. Very sad…
I admire the production of the show, but seriously, I’d like to see Paul Potts (I mean Neal Boyd) bust out with something beyond opera. Brittney needs to go away.
The Hoff was obviously drunk last night-c’mon did anyone notice how obvious it was…I thought it would be all over the blogs today-lol, how sad…
Keep watching. After a few more burgers Neal will be busting out of something!!
Sharon said she wanted to give Neal a big hug. Did her plastic surgeon give her 20 ft long arms?
The giant magician hurt himself tonight. Maybe he tried to lift Neal.
If Neal were 500lbs lighter and didn’t cry all the time, no one would be singing his praises.
This show is horrible! The judges are stupid and the talent amateurish! Please let the Fall shows return!!!! No more Hoff! Yuck!
Has Jerry Springer always had a lisp? New dentures that don’t fit right? Or was he drinking WITH the Hoff? Tonight is starting off the same way! David is clearly off the wagon. It’s scary the difference in his behavior patterns!
Jessica Price made it through because she has the ability to emotionally connect with her audience through her singing. Don’t count her out. I think she may be the surprise of the competition. Whether she wins or not I hope her future is bright as a counter to Britney and the other evil clones.
You all need to lighten up and remember this is a show for amatuer talent. Better yet, get your asses off the couch and up on the stage and lets see if YOU can do any better! Nothing more pathetic than critics with even less talent than the performers they are criticizing.
OK, so I googled Eli Mattson, and the results were pages and pages of him singing ‘Walking in Memphis’. What happened next? Did he not get through the next round? And the Romanian twins did? What a rip!
I don’t know what’s funnier, the Zooperstars “act” or seeing them get criticized by the Brits and then get mooned by Zoopsters. Crazy stuff.
What the heck was that?? You call that talent??? The only 2 worth voting for: Neal E. Boyd and Zooperstars!! The rest can go home. Queen Emily is overrated. She couldn’t hit the high notes and all she wants to do is cry so you can pity her and vote for her. She needs to go. Go ZOOPERSTARS!!!
What’s the deal with Queen Emily? She auditioned as Emily Davis and now she’s Queen Emily? All glammed up and looking 50 lbs. thinner? I wonder who paid for all that work.
I still think Neal was better than Emily..not going to call her queen. Anyhoo, so glad those cowboys and that Britney are gone. I don’t know how they made it this far. Next is hopefully that Tina impersonator. She was good the first time but Tina is getting bigger and not looking like Tina when she was performing anymore. Plus where’s the talent when these people are singing to a record.