Britney + the VMAs = deadly combo or secret weapon?

Britney_lWhile you all were watching the Russell Brand/Britney Spears VMA commercials and saying, "Why, isn’t that clever! An elephant in the room! And her hair extensions look good, too!" I’ve been at my computer biting my nails, aimlessly googling "Britney Spears 2008 VMA comeback," and wondering what will materialize from these witty ads. Britney and her people have been in talks about doing something at this year’s MTV Video Music Awards, but "what??" is the question. PDubbers, I’ve thought long and hard about this, and here are my three best possible scenarios:

1. Realizing that she still has progress to make in her personal quest to return us to the "Slave (4 U)" days of yore (as pictured, at the 2001 MTV Video Music Awards), Britney graciously turns down the opportunity to perform, and instead presents a Best Newcomer moonman, receiving a standing ovation from the crowd.

2. Britney starts the show off just like last year, but minus the trashy extensions and bundle of nerves. After "It’s Britney, bitch!" she begins to actually sing and dance to "Gimme More," redoing last year’s routine with the passion, energy, and self-awareness it lacked.

3. Blowing everyone’s mind, Britney says she’s not going to do anything, but secretly busts out for a cameo during the finale of Madonna and ex-bf Justin Timberlake’s "Four Minutes." This time, Madonna and Britney will start to kiss, but Justin will push Madge out of the way and give Brit a smooch, reassuring us that they were just "on a break" and are totally back together now.

Too far? Help me, PopWatchers — this decision is too much for one anxious fan. I’m going to YouTube some past performances — ignoring 2007’s, of course — and let you guys decide what Britney’s VMA tasks this year should be.

addCredit(“Britney Spears; Kevin Kane/WireImage”)

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  • John

    She really shouldn’t perform unless she can live up to the “Oops” VMA performance of oh so many years ago. She’s gotta go all-or-nothing to get any respect. And DO NOT re-do “Gimme More.” I wouldn’t be mad at it if she busted out “Radar” or “Break the Ice.”

  • Tate

    I’ve been thinking about this for awhile. Stay with me. Britney, dressed conservatively. She is sitting on a bar stool on stage. She is accompanied by one guy, playing an acoustic guitar. The song is a mellow cover of Alanis’ “Ironic”. In the background, on a huge screen, various clips of her very public life are shown. During the ending verse of the song (“a little TOO ironic, yeah I really do think…”), the clips switch rapidly from her at nine to her all sexed up at 17 to her with a shaved head to her in the stretcher outside of her house.
    That right there would turned Britney’s whole life/career/image around. That’s money, kid.

  • Snarf

    Wouldn’t mind her performing “Piece of Me” if she can do it well.

  • wildecat

    Whoa, Tate. Little dark for the VMAs, dontcha think??
    I actually think her re-doing “Gimme More” is a sort of brilliant idea, as long as she could hit it out of the park.
    I really don’t care about Britney, but it was so disturbing to see her self-destruct right in the public eye that it kinda makes me happy to see that she has (hopefully) turned her life back around.

  • Tate

    Maybe a bit dark, but I think it’s just what the VMA’s, the tabloids, the pervs, and the haters all need. It’s a dose of reality. It’s saying “look what happens” – and, honestly, EVERYONE is to blame for it. She’s a girl, a little girl that went through some stuff – all in the public eye, with everyone piling on. If she’s truly past all of her stuff, what a beautiful f-you to everyone that performance would be.
    But I know it will be another overhyped, oversexed, urban number.

  • Kate

    I am pulling for her! I would like her to perform “Stronger”! Now that would be a great song to prove the nay-sayers wrong! Go Brit!

  • elena

    whatever she does, she better bring it. because she’s made great strides to get her life back together (How I Met Your Mother guest stint, custody of kids), and the VMA’s should be a huge publicity success for her, HOPEFULLY not a failure. so! I totally agree with number one, lisa. she doesn’t need to do anything except be there, and hopefully rock the place, normal-style.

  • Jackie

    If number 3 happens I will laugh into the flames of hell. It will be the apocolypse.

  • Huffybike

    I posted a set of audio from the promos:

  • Gina

    This might be a good thing, just about anything should be better then her last time she was there. Hopefully she will have her head on straight and wear some panties and not have that glazed look. I’m crossing my fingers.

  • LL

    Uh, one problem with your idea, Tate… Britney can’t sing, especially her slow songs with little accompaniment. I direct you to her SNL performances of “Don’t Let Me Be the Last to Know,” “Not A Girl (Not Yet A Woman),” and “Everytime.” She sounds like a dying animal.

  • Tate

    LL, your point is well taken. I was thinking that through, as well. I figure most people can carry some semblence of a tune if they sing a little lower and quieter. We all know that “Ironic” carries some serious peaks. That’s where I came up with the idea of just one guy accompanying her with a guitar. That way she doesn’t have to try to sing out of her range over a band. They can probably find a key she can match.
    Again, all of this means nothing, because most everyone just wants to see her come out half-dressed and dancing to some crappy song like most of “Blackout”. The VMA people won’t want to see “dark and introspective”, they want to see “sknaky and urban”.

  • to Tate

    do you really think britney could pull off alanis’ ‘ironic’? britney spears can barely sing!

  • Tate

    Anyone ever heard John Mayer doing Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin'”? He doesn’t go for the big peak during the chorus. I don’t like it as much as the original, but it’s not bad. You guys don’t think Brit could pull it off if she does something like that? She can at least carry a tune, even if she doesn’t have incredible range, right?

  • Stephanie T.

    If you ask me, she should just do a comedy sketch mocking her dreadful performance from last year. Besides, that female impersonator Derek from Americas Got Talent, looks 110 percent better in that Bikini that Brit wore than Brit did. Or she can do an Andy Samberg short film before the show. The girl can’t sing (sorry Tate, but singing from the windpipe does not count, nor will it ever count for singing)but she is a fair comedic actress.

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