While you all were watching the Russell Brand/Britney Spears VMA commercials and saying, "Why, isn’t that clever! An elephant in the room! And her hair extensions look good, too!" I’ve been at my computer biting my nails, aimlessly googling "Britney Spears 2008 VMA comeback," and wondering what will materialize from these witty ads. Britney and her people have been in talks about doing something at this year’s MTV Video Music Awards, but "what??" is the question. PDubbers, I’ve thought long and hard about this, and here are my three best possible scenarios:
1. Realizing that she still has progress to make in her personal quest to return us to the "Slave (4 U)" days of yore (as pictured, at the 2001 MTV Video Music Awards), Britney graciously turns down the opportunity to perform, and instead presents a Best Newcomer moonman, receiving a standing ovation from the crowd.
2. Britney starts the show off just like last year, but minus the trashy extensions and bundle of nerves. After "It’s Britney, bitch!" she begins to actually sing and dance to "Gimme More," redoing last year’s routine with the passion, energy, and self-awareness it lacked.
3. Blowing everyone’s mind, Britney says she’s not going to do anything, but secretly busts out for a cameo during the finale of Madonna and ex-bf Justin Timberlake’s "Four Minutes." This time, Madonna and Britney will start to kiss, but Justin will push Madge out of the way and give Brit a smooch, reassuring us that they were just "on a break" and are totally back together now.
Too far? Help me, PopWatchers — this decision is too much for one anxious fan. I’m going to YouTube some past performances — ignoring 2007′s, of course — and let you guys decide what Britney’s VMA tasks this year should be.