How nice that the TV Academy, marking a television season that was truncated while producers spent months deciding whether or not they wanted to pay writers, is honoring memorable lines of TV dialogue at this year’s Emmy ceremony. According to the Hollywood Reporter, various TV personalities will be reciting classic phrases, along the lines of "Good night, John Boy," or "Live long and prosper." Let’s hope the list of lines is not etched in stone yet, since I’m sure we all have plenty of suggestions for which lines they should honor, and who should say them, if the original actor isn’t available. For instance, I’d love to hear Ed Asner get up there and recite his own most unforgettable line of TV dialogue: "You have spunk. I hate spunk," though I’m not sure enough viewers would recognize that one. Also, I’d be tempted to lard the list with quotes from House, since Hugh Laurie (pictured) gets better lines than just about anyone on TV. In fact, let’s just save time and have the ridiculously talented Mr. Laurie recite all the lines, in whichever accent pleases him. But let’s have your suggestions to the Academy below.
Which classic TV lines should the Emmys honor?
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Hugh Laurie: “Everybody lies.”
Lauren Graham: “My baby’s discovered her first hangover food! I just wish I had a picture…”
Alanis Morisette: “I don’t know.” (Followed by Green Slime being dumped on her)
The producer guy from “You Can’t Do That on Television”: “Where do they find these people, and why do they keep sending them to me?”
“A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down the pants.”
“I’ve made a huge mistake.”
The original actors are avilable for this one, but I’d rather hear David Caruso say, “These pretzels are making me thirsty!!!”
Oh, one of them has to be, “Pork chops…and applesauce,” or maybe, “Mom always said, don’t play ball in the house.” Other nominees: “Stifle, Edith!” “Oh, Rob!” and Radar’s lines from M*A*S*H when Henry’s chopper went down.
“I’m so excited…I’m so scared!” from the best episode of Saved by the Bell.
“I’ve made a huge mistake” or really any line from Arrested Development
“Shady Pines, Ma! Shady Pines…”
“Yada, yada, yada”
“Norm!”
“That’s what she said.”
“Save the cheerleader, save the world.”
“What’s up, doc?” (cartoons count, right?)
Sticking with CSI actors, I also think William Petersen and David Caruso would be perfect to say, “We’re two wild and crazy guys!” Of course, they’d have to dress the part.
Dominic Monaghan (LOST): Guys, where ARE we?
no one mentioned “Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose” From FNL or “Guys…where are we????” from LOST. How about “The plane, the plane” from Fantasy Island. “NORM” from Cheers. “Not that’s there’s anything wrong with that” or “yada, yada, yada” from Seinfeld.
And if Henry Winkler doesn’t say, “Aaaaaayyyy!” then there’s really no point to this exercise.
Joey – how you doin’?
George – McDreamy’s doing the McNasty with McHottie, that McBastard
Captain Kirk’s: “Beam me up, Scotty.”
“Let’s be careful out there” Hill Street Blues
“Hey kids, what time is it?” Howdy Doody
“Make it so” “Engage” from TNG
There real and there spectacular!
D’oh!
No power in the verse can stop me.
Norm!
No soup for you!
I’m going old school, and throwing in with: “I love it when a plan comes together” (A-Team!). And, from Maverick, “As my old pappy used to say…” (e.g. “As my old pappy used to say, working is a fine way for killing time, but its a shaky way to make a living.” or “As my old pappy used to say, a man does what he has to do–if he can’t get out of it.” And so on, and so on.)
Blurg! – Liz Lemon
How ruuude! (Full House)
BLURGH! (30 Rock)
It’s an ILLUSION! (Arrested Development)
And I wholeheartedly second “Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose!” from the ever-amazing FNL. That was my email signature for several months.
“WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!” – Friends
“Here’s Johnny!”
“TTTTThat’s all Folk’s!”
“I WAS IN THE POOL!!!!”
Seinfeld has sooo many quotables. And Tipper – they have to use that A-Team line. Have to.
“Jane, you ignorant slut.” Is that too risque for the Emmys?
How about the oft repeated SNL lines…
“We’re not worthy”
“It’s like butter”
“Talk amongst yourselves”
or Bart Simpson’s infamous
“Don’t have a cow man”
Jack Bauer: Damn it!
Samantha (SATC): Funky Spunk!
Chris Berman (ESPN): Rumblin’ Bumblin’ Stumblin’
‘Let’s face it Will. Your magic’s only 50-50.’
‘Yea, well…so’s your face.’
How could we forget???
“Whatchoo talkin bout Willis?”
Legen… wait for it, wait for it, … dary! -HIMYM
“That’s what she said…”