If you’re a fan of awesomely bad TV, you need to see last night’s episode of Greatest American Dog. It doesn’t get any "better" than watching the owners dance with their dogs, particularly JD (pictured) who admitted to being a Michael Jackson impersonator in the ’80s. He immediately grabbed the "Hip Hop" theme for himself and English Pointer Border Collie Galaxy — excuse me, Dr. Pop and G-Money — and they turned it out in the coordination competition. They probably would have won Best in Show had JD not stolen the spotlight with all of his breakdancing. (Judges praised his choreography that involved rolling and jumping with Galaxy.) Instead, Laurie and her Maltese Andrew took the title after their ragtime routine wooed the panel. Andrew walking and stopping in perfect time with Laurie was rather impressive.
Bill and his Brittany, Star, were also standouts. For a good reason: Though Teresa and Border Collie Leroy had won the Dog Bone Challenge, which involved the pooches walking a balance beam raised over a thin layer of mud, Teresa had given the suite and the bonus prize — time with professional choreography Kashaya, whose human clients have included Gwen Stefani and Jessica Simpson — to second-place Bill. He’d been missing his family and the suite’s decor includes pictures and a letter from home. Very sweet of Teresa. Almost enough to make you forget about that snarl band incident from last week. Bill told the judges about Teresa’s sacrifice when they asked him why he was so good at his wigged (!) rockabilly routine. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what kept her out of the bottom three. Lord knows, it wasn’t Leroy’s bark-filled disco routine. (The judges didn’t feel Leroy was having fun. They said Teresa was stressing him out. Hey, a lot of people hate disco. Why should dogs be different?)
After the jump, Beacon shuts down and Brandy tears up.
I’ve never been a big fan of Brandy and her Miniature Schnauzer, Beacon. (Okay, I don’t really have anything against Beacon.) And this episode did nothing to change that. Brandy put Beacon in pajamas — strike one. She forced Beacon’s butt down when she wouldn’t sit — strike two. She wailed into her pillow when it was clear that Beacon was shutting down and asked her, "Do you even love me?" — strike three. As judge Victoria Stilwell noted after the duo’s pitiful Pas de Deux, Brandy’s intensive training had sent Beacon into learned helplessness. And those ballet slippers she put on the dog sent me (and judge Wendy Diamond) over the edge. Brandy finally got the boot. "I’m leaving with my head held high." Yes, but your ass is wearing a tutu.
Joining Brandy in the bottom three this week were two surprises: Travis and his Boxer, Presley, and Laura and her Pomeranian, Preston. Presley was having none of Travis’ country line dancing. My favorite shot of the night was of him essentially playing dead while waiting for the judges’ remarks. It was like he was saying (barking?), "Just shoot me." Preston also looked like he "wasn’t into dancing, whatsoever," according to Diamond. Are all dogs born dancers? I don’t think it helped that Preston was afraid of Laura’s Latin dress, presumably on loan from Dancing With the Stars.
So, whose dance number did you enjoy most? Did you think it was weird that the show put the dogs in costumes after the judges made such a big stink about canines wearing clothing earlier in the season? And who’s on Team Bill and Star? (Should we start calling them Bar?)
Didn’t watch this show but my dog is greater! She can sneeze on command. She brings me my glasses from downstairs and she can sniff out a chipmonk from inside the house to outside. Oh and she dances too!
Didn’t watch this show but my dog is greater! She can sneeze on command. She brings me my glasses from downstairs and she can sniff out a chipmonk from inside the house to outside. Oh and she dances too!
And she is probably smart enough to not double post (lol).
I’m not just saying this because my favorite Presley was in the bottom three, but I would just like to know what the younger lady judge’s (don’t even care to know her name)problem is. I know that the judges usually act tough and whatever on all these shows, but she is just plain mean! I don’t care for Brandy but she was so mean to her I felt bad. You can tell who she doesn’t like and I don’t think that makes for fair judging. Loved Bill and Star though.
The dogs who didn’t do it should have been getting points for realizing how stupid the dancing part was. Didn’t some look like they were looking at their owners like “are you kidding me?”
Yeah, the judges are kinda looney.
They sent home my fav, Ezzie the Boston Terrier, in week one. And I was heartbroken last week when Tillman went home. How can they be down on costumes on dogs and then judge a competition that requires costumes on dogs?
JD looks alot like a young Ned Beatty. May he should recreate Ned’s famous scene from Deliverance.
Loved Bill and Star. You can just tell she trusts him completely. It was really nice of Teresa to let Bill have the suite. Classy. I really miss Ron and Tillman, welll mostly Tillman. The show is mostly stupid but I do enjoy the dogs.
Val, you hit it right on the head. The dogs did look like they had been throughly humiliated. The competitions have been getting dumber and dumber each week.
I have to say it — I just love this show. It’s as moronic as Big Brother (which I can’t be bothered with these days), but the dogs give it heart. Also, I love Laurie/Andrew & Bill/Star. I totally agree that dogs are dogs, but Star comes close to suggesting otherwise. What a great dog!
Incidentally, did anyone else think that Brandy might have been huffing just a bit of helium in the scene where she’s whining to Travis? I had to play that clip back for my husband, it was just that funny.
Teresa redeemed herself last night when she gave her reward & bonus to Bill & Star w/o an ulterior motive. The judges are all idiots esp. Wendy. Why do they like to make faces? Training your dog to do anything is difficult so give these people credit. At least acknowledge them for their efforts. The show is dimmer w/o their BRIGHTEST STAR- TILLMAN.
Mandi, at least you acknowledge that TV is awesomely bad! Now if only some other members of the EW writing staff would do the same!
To Val: The younger lady judge you were referring to is Wendy Diamond. And that is no act. I’ve
(unfortunately) met her and she is that mean in person. And a is a prissy jerk to boot! It makes me laugh when they say she’s an animal rescue advocate when she filed a law suit against an animal shelter because they used a term she supposedly coined in her magazine. Some advocate! Thankfully she seems to like Bill & Star who are my pick for winner!
This show is awesomely bad TV, but its really growing on me. Just love Bill & Star.
I lost my beloved Brittany earlier this year. When I saw Star on the commercials, I had to watch the show. My little orange guy didn’t know as many tricks as Star, but was just as sweet. It’s great watching her every week.