It’s hard to pinpoint what, exactly, about the ubiquitous Optimum Online Triple Play commercial eats away at my insides with the most fervor. The pirates? The mermaids? The dragon/lobster hybrid? The random cast of characters emerging from the deep like illegals attempting to evade the border on Weeds? The alarming amount of crack that whoever came up with the "jingle" inhaled during the three seconds it took him to come up with this? No. It’s that I will forever know the toll-free number for Optimum Online. BY HEART.
You do have to admire the way a crashing wave signifies the ‘8!’ after three fin thrusts mark out ‘4-4-4.’ Oh wait, no you don’t.
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Me: I die every time I hear my 8 y.o. niece sing that snippet of whatever song they play during the promos for the Secret Life of the American Teenager – and she throws in the ‘just tell me, are you?’ line.
I think it depends on whether or not you believe they had their tongues firmly planted in their cheeks when they developed this crap-tastic piece of marketing, or if they were taking themselves seriously. I tend to lean towards the cheek-plant philosophy, so I find this ad totally hysterical. Of course, if I lived where this ad airs and had to hear it all the time, I might feel differently.
WHERE do you FIND this stuff?!?!
I have despised these commercials since I started seeing them years ago (maybe it wasn’t YEARS, but it sure feels like it!). Thank heaven for DVRs and their wonderful abilities to fast forward.
I have a love/hate relationship with this commercial. I hate I actually catch myself singing it out loud at random times, but I also will stop whatever it is that I am doing as soon as I hear it and watch the whole thing. It’s just one of the biggest WTF things I have ever seen. We actually ended up switching and I don’t think I will ever forgive my mom for making the call while I was at work, denying me the pleasere of acutally dialing the number.
OH MY GOSH. I thought I was the only one who suffered through that commercial! To this day I still know that freakin’ number too!
god i could sing that number, too. ew it makes me sick.
i had never seen this commercial until I moved last fall and my bf and i were appalled. it’s just so wroooong! lol
I love how this “jingle” sounds like every Reggaeton song I’ve ever heard.
(btw, “The random cast of characters emerging from the deep like illegals attempting to evade the border on Weeds?” is kinda racisty considering that the commercial does have a Latin flavor. Not all Latino people are illegals running to/from the border. Just a heads up!)
OMG – I LOVE that you wrote this column! The thing that bugs me most about this commercial is just how GHETTO the whole thing is. And the idea that some marketing people decided to target the audience that this craptastic ad is geared towards. Advertising at its finest!
Thank you for writing this!!! Now I know I’m not alone in my hatred for this commercial. I may know the number by heart but because of this commercial, I will NEVER sign up for IO Digital cable… oh no… it’s in my head again!
So…where is this commercial airing? I’ve never seen it, but it is burned into my brain now, thankssomuch.
I hate their commercials! I have sworn never to use them!!!!!
I also hated this commercial at first. But when my then 7-month-old daughter erupted in laughter at it, I had a change of heart. I now have the song memorized and have had to sing it to my little girl at holiday photo shoots to get her to smile. It’s just one small way you find yourself changing after becoming a parent. The things we do for kids!
I HATE this commercial more than words can say.
And I just had the phone number in my head last night and had to think about what it was for.
I was the producer on this commercial and it was a blast. So much fun to work on a non-stereotype spot. This is Pirates of the Caribbean, interesting that people see it as illegals and gettho. Sorry that they play it so much, but that’s not our fault. BTW- it’s a sea dragon.
Well, I think MCM got it right — you can’t take it so seriously! And you can’t take yourselves seriously either. If you can’t just laugh at this commercial then I think that’s pretty sad. Life is supposed to be fun.
The only thing I find annoying is your comment on immigrants running to the border simply because they’re latinos *Shakes head*
I am very close to getting another tv system,I am sick of cable and their half baked commercials. Especially that stinking optimum online crap. It started with the damned man singing rap, and it continues throut, next the stupid blonde with teeth that make her look like her mother must have been impregnated by mr ed, now the latest the damned muppets. I could stomach it perhaps once every few hours but the damned thing assaults us every few minutes. This commercial is one of the BIG reasons I am renting more movies and getting specialty tv stations.
I know most of these comments were sent last year, but they started airing this devastatingly painful commercial again. It stopped for a long time, but it is BACK. I seen it twice today. I can’t stand this commercial and because they play it so much optimum triple play should be boycotted. And all the reels to that commercial should be burned. It sort of makes you think that they might be sending a subliminal or underlining message with this commercial as often as they play them. They also have the new one with the guy dancing spastic and his girl catches him dancing at the computer in the end of it. Also trash. Hopefully that one would be another commercial of theirs that bites the dust. Bottom line, these commercials need to get down and stay down!
Oh My God it’s returned. Just when I thought I was free of it, it has come back with a vengence. I seriously see it multiple times a day. What can we do to make it go AWAY!?!?!?!?
It’s good! rolex watch?
luxury watch?