Whether you loved or hated Wanted — our own Lisa Schwarzbaum gave it a B — you’ve got to admit the movie put the ‘rage’ in outrageous. And yeah, I know that doesn’t really make sense, but neither did most of the film. Anyhow, I finally got around to seeing the James McAvoy-Angelina Jolie action vehicle over the weekend, and as the (undeniably enjoyable) ridiculata piled up, I began to formulate the following quiz in my head. (I’ve placed it after the jump, to protect the spoiler-phobes among you.)–Michael Slezak
The most ridiculous plot point in Wanted involved:
A. Morgan Freeman’s character translating binary code spat out by the"Loom of Fate" to determine which global bad guys were up forassassination.
B. A magical wax bath healing (overnight!) the injuriesMcAvoy sustained after colliding face-first with a cement overpassduring a rousing game of subway surfing.
C. McAvoy’s character using a dump truck full of peanut butter tocapture a small army of rats-cum-suicide-bombers.
D. Multiple characters surviving (practically unscathed) after theirtrain car plummeted several thousand feet off a bridge and then wedgeditself between the narrowing rock edges of an Eastern European canyon.
E. A shrill female character cheating on the hotness that is JamesMcAvoy.
F. Other. [Fill in your option in the comments section below.]
I know,I know, I didn’t leave you the choice of "all of the above," but thatwould be too easy. Now quit procrastinating and answer the questionalready!
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Anything involving the “Loom of Fate,” so A I guess.
You do realize this movie wasn’t suppose to be taken seriously, right? For this type movie, you go to see what the director can do. It was his first english film, and you could say the same about his russian films. They don’t make much sense, but its amazing to watch. Style is everything to this filmmaker, not story. So just relax, turn off the brain, and enjoy the film.
When Morgan Freeman started trying to explain the “Loom of Fate,” I went into a fit of (silent) hysterical giggling in my seat. So I’d have to go with A.
Definitely “E”, though I’m not gonna lie: the Loom of Fate made me giggle too
I couldn’t help but burst out in laughter when Morgan Freeman was walking around the circle telling each person they were on the list of the loom. “You were on the list,” “and you were on the list,” “You were on the list.” Come on.
I couldn’t help but burst out in laughter when Morgan Freeman was walking around the circle telling each person they were on the list of the loom. “You were on the list,” “and you were on the list,” “You were on the list.” Come on.
I’d have to give it to the Loom of Fate scene. I started giggling behind my hand and missed part of the next scene because I couldn’t stop laughing at the ridiculous. So definitely option (A) for me, although the magical wax bath (B) is a very close second.
WHAT THE F”** ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE? I’M SHOOTING WINGS OFF OF FLIES. Hilarious. I loved this movie. And how bout the curvy bullets? Angelina’s curvy bullet at the end cracked me up big time.
I’m having trouble deciding between a and c. a loom deciding who should die? putting explosives on thousands of rats? come on…
I had the entertaining experience of watching this movie in Russian while I was in Moldova. Strangely, most of it seemed to make more sense that way. The only thing that really made me goggle in disbelief was “C”, the rat suicide bombers. Who wants to get that close to that many rats?!
E. Definatly. The scene where he is shirtless…I mean WOW!
Other than that, it has to be D.the train. I could deal with everything else, because the movie had his own (crazy) out of this world way to deal with it. But the train…
Anything to do with the “Loom of Fate” is what kills me with this movie. Surprisingly, while that little nugget was in there, I still really liked the movie.
anything involving a loom, of fate or otherwise.
It really bugged me that the killer-of-bad-guys had no problem derailing a whole train full of presumably innocent people and hurling them to their deaths at the bottom of the ravine, just to get one man. Not even an ‘Oops, sorry, folks!’
What was up with this movie turning into an updated version of Fight Club? ‘What are you doing with your life?’ line was so lame.
I’m with Jonathon. I have been flinging my arm around pretending I have a gun and curving bullets all over the place. Luckily, my husband plays along so when I ask “Do you know what I just did?” He’ll just point to some random person in the back or to the side and say “You just killed them with your curving bullets?”
It makes me happy.
Simce I can’t say all of the above, I would most definantly pick E! if anyone got a hold on that glorious man I don’t think they would ever let him go.
I’m with Jonathon. I have been flinging my arm around pretending I have a gun and curving bullets all over the place. Luckily, my husband plays along so when I ask “Do you know what I just did?” He’ll just point to some random person in the back or to the side and say “You just killed them with your curving bullets?”
It makes me happy.
This is not a movie to watch for the great story arcs or themes. It is for hot people making out – Ange and McAvoy hot, hot hot….and great stunts. The Loom of Fate, really? That was pretty stupid, but who cares?? It is not “Brideshead Revisited”
Wanted is like that Bruce Willis movie, Live Free — totally over the top ridiculous but fun to watch. Suicide bomber mice — now that was inventive thinking by the writers. And Angie shooting from the side of the car down the middle of Wacker Drive — impossibly implausible. And using the speeding bullet Chicago L to jump from car to car — first off, the L system doesn’t move that fast along the tracks like NASCAR….it’s slow as molasses….ask any Chicagoan who lives here…but we can dream can’t we?
The opening credits…”A secret society of weavers” lol
I have to vote “E,” especially since he was the entire reason I saw the movie to begin with. Meow.
I think it would be how Angelina…er, Fox, drank the Kool Aid and offed them all, herself included, even after Morgan Freeman essentially admitted to lying about whom the “Loom of Fate” (*snicker*) told them to kill. Why wouldn’t they just kill Morgan Freeman, since the “loom” also said he was to be assassinated?
I understand that as much as I understand how people buy into Scientology.
Morgan Freeman cursing.
It a toss up between the Loom of Fate and Angie’s neverending bullet at the end of the movie. I don’t know how that bullet never lost momentum after hitting every target, how it still had speed to kill her or how it managed to still keep curving till the end. But, I loved the movie anyways.
The loom of fate, hands down. I even tried to listen but came up with more questions (each increasingly dumber than the next). Like, how long does Freeman’s charactor read the loom? Every day? Once an hour? What do they do with the extra fabric? Etc. Curving bullets and the ability to shoot wings off of flies comes in a close second. I mean, really. And how about the guy jumping through a window from one building onto the rooftop of the building across the street? And the neverending bullet at the end which punctures through EVERYTHING? I could go on, but I’ll stop. All that said, I enjoyed the movie.
The first 3 things that popped in my head were A, B, and C…i think especially C…how do you round up eleventy million rats with just a few jars of peanut butter, get them all into a truck, and then dump them into a building, w/out them running away from said building…and didn’t he put watch/timers on many of them…? where did he get those wonderful toys? did he get bit while strapping them on the little varmints?
I enjoyed the movie even with the bath of wax and loom of evenweave material…fun times…
How about when McAvoy’s character pursues Freeman’s through the room filled with tangled threads, even though that would 1) apparently slow down this person who moves like he’s in the Matrix through everything else, and therefore 2) prevent him from moving quickly if Freeman was waiting on the other side to shoot him?
Defintely F, the bullet that defies all laws of physics and goes through, what, 8 heads and some bookshelves and, wait for it, is travelling in a circle the whole time!
Not the same bullet…