I like to think I’m a good mom. I know that my eight-year-old son, Dylan, takes ballroom dancing and piano lessons in large part because it makes me happy. (OK, if he really hated them, I would let him do something else). So when a friend of mine heard about a wrestling extravaganza called The Great American Bash, I figured it was time to do something that would make Dylan really happy — and I knew I would score some major cool mom points by taking him, his seven-year-old buddy Edward, and Edward’s mom, to the show.
The Bash, held at the Nassau Coliseum on Sunday, was definitely a hot ticket, selling out 14,000 seats in just 45 minutes back in May. Never mind that all I know about wrestling could fit on the head of a pin. And never mind that I’m pretty much on the prim side of, say, Charlotte from Sex and the City. I could do this, I told myself. I could totally hang with the boys and not seem like the Church Lady from SNL.
As we were waiting on the security line, I noticed there were some clearly defined groups. About five or six young men had caps and T-shirts with the words “Cena Sucks” on it. After a few minutes, an older man came up to them smiling, holding the sign “JBL Sucks.” They eyeballed each other for a few seconds, nodding and smiling warily, but no verbal smackdowns ensued. That was quite a civil exchange, I thought. I was encouraged.
The show, which featured stars from RAW, ECW, and Smackdown (and aired on Pay-Per-View), started off with the standard wackiness I expected from wrestling: really loud heavy metal music; lots of posing and sinister-looking soap-opera faces; and a politically incorrect use of midgets (this would be the Irish wrestler Finlay’s tag team partner, who was mainly there for comic relief, and yes, everybody laughed).
More Bash after the jump…
I do have to say there were some truly spectacular physical stunts:backwards flips off the top rope, lots of Cirque du Soleil-stylecontortioning, with a crowd appreciative of everything. (Even those whocouldn’t tell a moonsault from a Brazilian Heel Hook if their livesdepended on it. Ahem.) Could I have done without seeing all the bloodthat spewed forth from Shawn Michaels at the hands of Chris Jericho?Yep. The latter boasted that his opponent had had his last match, sincehe was now suffering from… dramatic pause here… a detached retina. Andthe pre-taped segment that showed John Cena and JBL battling it out ina parking lot, with Cena attaching jumper cables to JBL’s crotch andJBL in turn gassing a car and lighting it on fire with an unconsciousCena inside? A bit over the top, to put it mildly.
But I’ve passed over my favorite match of the event, and no, itwasn’t the love triangle involving Edge and Vickie Guerrero and thewedding planner (though I do secretly adore the fact that the featuredmatch was based on a timeless story of a cheater and a woman donewrong, plus the ensuing catfight). It was the match between CM Punk andBatista, a fellow known as the Animal. Batista, with none of theobvious mugging for the camera that the other Superstars employed, hada quiet yet forceful presence, and was clearly the classiest wrestlerof the whole bunch. No matter that his match ended in a disappointingdouble disqualification. He performed his classic move (I’m told), theBatista Bomb, which has to do with getting your opponent face-forwardon your shoulders and promptly dropping him to the mat (and yes, Ilearned the mat is mic’ed to heighten the sound so folks in the rafterscan hear it). He didn’t say much, but he didn’t have to. One look atthe dragon tattoo on his back and the six-pack on the flip side and ohmy, is it getting a little warm here in the Coliseum? I’m thinking hecould be the next big crossover wrestling star, like the Rock. Andlook, he’s the thinking woman’s wrestler — he’s already written anautobiography detailing his hardscrabble background. It’s enough to make the Church Lady stand up and start whooping it up with the rest of the crowd.
All right, you wrestling fanatics, what did you think of the GreatAmerican Bash? Do you think Edge will reunite with Vickie? Who was yourfavorite? Have at it.
Comments (1-23) of 23 Add your comment
Teehee!
Imagine my surprise when I opened Popwatch and there was Batista and CM Punk on my screen. Yay!
How very cool of you to take your son to the show, and actually enjoy it!
I actually found your observation on Batista interesting, because he has sort of been criticized for not being the most charismatic or flashiest wrestler. But I don’t think he has to be. All he has to do is stand there and he is pretty darn intimidating! And its interesting you say he could be a breakout star, and didn’t say that about John Cena, who just shot his second movie for WWE Films or Chris Jericho, he of Fozzy, Celebrity Duets, and many appearances on various VH1 specials.
Too bad randy orton is injured and wasn’t on the bash because if Batista makes you hot wait til’ you see Randy orton! the guy is perfection!
You definitely get an “Awesome Mom” prize for this one!
My favorite match was actually Jericho vs Michaels. They work well in the ring together with similar styles. But the blood at the end was too much.
I also enjoyed the “backstage brawl” from Cena and JBL. John Cena got thrown into a car. good times.
The Diva match was a letdown, but Edge and Vicke are always entertaining. Overall a good show.
Batista has a nice presence, and crossover appeal, but I wouldn’t call him the next Rock just yet. It will be tough to shake that “meat-head” image. Can he act?
Yup, wrestling has always been a form of soap opera or cops and robbers or cowboys and indians or superheroes and villains or name your genre here. That’s why it’s best when it’s not only got great performers (athletically and yes, dramatically) but when it’s got great writing and storylines too.
i find your use of the word “midgets” politically incorrect but i must agree that batista is a very hot specimen of a man.
I think you probably enjoyed the show more than most wrestling fans. Concensus opinion was that the show was weak, especially the DQ end to the title match.
you wrong about the church lady from SNL she has been know to give beat downs with her paddle. AND SHE ENJOYS IT!!!
“a politically incorrect use of midgets (this would be the Irish wrestler Finlay’s tag team partner, who was mainly there for comic relief” — Apparently midgets can’t be comedians? People in general need to lighten up.
Coolest…Mom…EVER!
you are the coolest mom for taking your son shoot your not the only one who loves the wwe i love it so bad that my first kid is named after stone cold steve austin now there one bad dude you don’t want to mess with i just wish he would come back for one more match!!!
I do not believe in political correctness; altho, Hornswoggle is not a midget, he is a leprechaun, and Dave Finlay is his Proud Papa.
Let’s set the record straight: Booker T, Mark Henry, Elijah Burke, Teddy Long, The Rock, Tony Atlas, Rocky Johnson, Awesome Kong, Ron Killings, Marcus CorVon, Ronny Simmons, Shelton Benjamin, Jay Lethal, Ahmed Johnson, Kofi Kingston, Sharmell, D-Von Dudley, and D-Lo Brown are Negroids, okay????
The rest of the current and former rosters are/were made up of mostly
Caucasoids and Mongoloids.
So don’t you ever worry about being polically correct…unless your a flaming libby.
Wait, throwing a hissy fit and attacking someone after the match is considered “classy” now? When did that happen?
I’ll be honest here. I really doubt you are, (or were) as clusless about wrestling as you are trying to make out. Your phrasings scream knowledge to me.
As to your comment concerning Batista, one he did not write the book and and all thinking female wrestling fans ignore him for the untalented hack he is. Thinking female wrestling fans actually are more interested in skills and not what his abs look like or that he knows how to dictate to a ghost writer.
What I find interesting is you seem to feel being a “cool” mom is more important then being a responsible one, or the fact your child was being exposed to foul language would have illicted as much concern as if to warring fan factions were going to have words. Or is the word “S**k” normally used in your household?
This is not an attack, is more a curious note as to just how unaware of wrestling you truly are.
For someone who claims “never mind that all I know about wrestling could fit on the head of a pin”, your knowledge of the things you wrote about tell a slightly different version of this statement of yours. And I agree with Diacono, Hornswoggle is a leprechaun, not a midget.
Now Hold on there! Don’t critizize this woman one bit! She took her kid to whatch wrestling(which so happens I am a biggest fan of)So her kid could see that she wanted him to be happy too! And Please don’t ever disrespect wrestling, you don’t know what these guys go through every SINGLE DAY!Why don’t people just read a book once in a while!I have read plenty of books on wrestling(trust me)and I realize these people have a rough time out there!So if you think wrestling is all about the word S**K( to be politacally correct,SUCK IT)than you have my friend fallen in to what we wrestling fans call wrestlingretardness! You don’t see the Marketing,athleticism,BUISNESS,RESPECT,and BRAINS that go into this buisness! If you still think wrestling is about the word S**K then tell that to me and a lot of other people who have been training thier asses off all of their LIFE trying to get into this BUISNESS! Thank you and I think I speak for all of the wrestling fan when I say SUCK IT!
2 REBBECA
Brandon: You definitely do not speak for me or any other fans who go to the matches to see wrestling. Who gives a darn what “soap opera” leads up to the matches. Saying “suck it” is very immature. Grow Up!
I agree. Saying “suck it” is immature when we’re trying to post and read rational comments here.
“I really doubt you are, (or were) as clusless about wrestling as you are trying to make out. Your phrasings scream knowledge to me.”
Weird. To me, the author phrasings scream “I asked someone what all the moves, tricks and wrestler’s names were.” She doesn’t impart any knowledge that you couldn’t have gotten from just being a spectator there.
“all thinking female wrestling fans ignore him for the untalented hack he is.”
Why would you suspect the author is acting “clusless” and then insult her for not knowing what a “untalented hack he is”?
“What I find interesting is you seem to feel being a “cool” mom is more important then being a responsible one”
What I find interesting is you seem to have some sort of grudge against the author for simply providing a small dose of entertainment for her son and his friends.
“This is not an attack”
Yes it is, and an uncalled one at that. Lighten up, Francis.
yo john, who be this francis which you be speaking of, neighborhoody?
sur13
sur13
IS EDGE COMEING BACK.
i think you covered all the basics and i agree Batista may be the next Rock he always puts on one hell of a show!!
you should cover more of the matches and post them try Wrestlemania that would be a great one to cover!