'D-List' recap: Gone to the dogs

Kathygriffindlist_lPssst! I’ve got a secret. Come closer. Lean in. I can only tell you if you promise not to tattle to PETA. Pinkie swear? Here it is: I am so not an animal person. (I know. What’s wrong with me?!) And I’m especially not a dog person, so I’m a little over all of the canine shenanigans in last night’s D-List. But for the benefit of all you PDubs out there who love your pooches so much you kiss them on the mouth (aaaghhh!), I’ll dish about the slobbery beasts.

After filming a PSA for the Guide Dog Foundation and dealing with cranky doggy do-gooder Jeff (What was his problem? I think he’s the one with the "disgraceful ego."), Kath called on Dog Whisperer (and Emmy loser) Cesar Millan (pictured) to whip her own Pom Pom and Chance into shape. If you’ve seen Kathy’s special where she jokes about her dogs, uh, shall we say, "exploding" all over a luxury resort suite and then running off, leaving her to chase them down in her underpants, you know what sort of holy terrors Cesar was up against. But in true Dog Whisperer fashion (I’m assuming here. I’ve obviously never watched the show because, hello, it’s about DOGS!), he got the disobedient doggies to walk on a treadmill. Is it just me, or is that kind of creepy in the way that cats peeing in the toilet is creepy? Treadmills and toilets are for people, not for animals. Unfortunately for the soothing Cesar, even though he won the people training/dog rehabilitating bet, Kathy wouldn’t relinquish her cherished Emmy. (Yeah, like that was going to happen.)

The "animal" magnetism continued when Kathy, Team Griffin,billionaire bear Woz, and his anal-retentive assistant Julie traveledto San Fran for the International Bear Round-Up (and we’re not talkin’about the Chicago Bears here, Maggie). Obviously Kathy felt right athome among her gays — even the "large, hairy" ones — but I wassurprised at how much Woz seemed in his element. Perhaps he enjoyed theattention from his fellow bears? Or maybe he simply had no idea whatwas going on. Was that not great when he held up that fringetastic sextoy and was like "this is a movie prop, right?" Oh goodness. Maybe youshould have Googled that, Woz. My favorite part of their trip,though, was learning all of those kooky bear puns like "Bear Maul" (aclever play on shopping mall). Brilliant. 

How about you, PopWatchers? What was your favorite part about lastnight’s episode? Did you pick up any great celebrity assistant tipsfrom Team Griffin’s Learning Annex class? Is that hissy claw maneuveractually supposed to work on dogs? And how cute was it when that guy inthe Winnie the Pooh suit got all flustered over meeting Kathy? Have atit.

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  • GG

    The Woz totally needs his own reality show. He was hilarious. He was so excited to get an $8 tip.

  • TV Addict

    Best part was how Jessica was seriously ticked off at Woz.
    Jessica, you are so freaking hot.

  • JohnO

    I love any scene with Kathy’s mother Maggie. Kathy’s reaction to how close Maggie and her friend are getting was awesome. I wish they’d do one episode all on Maggie.

  • wh

    I love this show. I love KG. Love her mom, too. The bears and Woz? Not so much. Sorry Jessica didn’t like Woz’s assistant. I thought she was great & she doesn’t have an easy job. But then I can’t imagine why anyone would be a celebrity assistant. And Amy, you’re right, what was up with that Jeff guy? Did he think he was being funny or was he trying to ‘shame’ her by calling her out? Anyway, thanks for the recap.

  • Rasha

    Woz is actually pretty creepy. I know he’s a computer genius and has changed the world, but he’s definitely eccentric. I love how Jessica was getting angry at him for giving away tee-shirts. My favorite part was learning about the bear culture. They take a metaphor and run with it don’t they? How happy the dancing bear was to see Kathy. That was adorable! Kathy tries to act like she’s a crazy b**tch but she’s really sweet. Cesar eyeing Kathy’s Emmy was hilarious. Her Emmy is the sixth regular on the show!

  • Jelana

    Great ep! Rasha, I disagree — Woz is adorable. His assistant is a little tightly wound, however. I’m so happy Maggie has her own gay. And as for being a celebrity assistant, wh, generally I agree with you, except that Kathy’s assistants really do look like they are enjoying themselves. Of course, they never actually show them doing assistant stuff, but you can tell they are very relaxed in Kathy’s presence, so I don’t think she goes all Mr. Hyde when the camera’s off.

  • nykolus

    the dancing teddy bear costume guy’s moment with kathy was adorable. very real, very grounded, very honest. that was the BEST moment.

  • Todd

    Woz and the Dancing Bear were my two favorite things from this Episode. I also liked the banter between her, the blind woman and the Iraq Vet.

  • Rasha

    He’s just a bit odd, which is what happens when you’re a genius. Normally I like him, but he was really strange in this episode. He seemed almost childlike…”Kathy, I sold the most tee shirts! I sold more than anybody!” I think I’m jaded because I already know how this relationship ends!

  • BrandonK

    “Big, hearty sandwiches” made my partner laugh so hard he couldn’t breathe. LOL

  • Sara

    My favorite part was the celebrity assistant class Team Griffin put on — how fun and creative!! That was hilarious. I actually wanted to know if they answered any serious questions and about how to get in the business. I remember Jessica from season 1, and she was so sarcastic and quiet. Good to see she has come to life with her fun friends TIM and Tiffany.

  • Mr. FAMU

    I love this show so much. But is it me or is Kathy obsessed with Oprah? I mean i dunno. Someone said that the Emmy is the 6th regular on the show but id say that its Oprah and not the Emmy award lol. To hear her telling those mexican children “Oprah tortures Miss Kathy” was hilarious lol. More D List Recaps PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Chris

    This recap should have been a lot longer; the dog part of this episode was relatively small compared to the other funny stuff.
    Did anyone see Kathy on Leno last night? She looked hot!

  • Snarf

    Love the D-list (can you still be considered “d” list with an Emmy?) Anyway hear what your saying about dogs. I prefer cats their not as high maintenance – unless your Jeff Lewis.

  • Anna

    Is it just me, or did Woz seem a little TOO into the bears? Maybe that’s why he and Kathy never did “it”, as well as the reason why they broke up!

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