Jul 8 2008 05:27 PM ET

What if Michael Bay had directed 'The Dark Knight'?

Batman_lWhat if director Michael Bay (Transformers, Armageddon) had been the one to reboot the Batman franchise, instead of Christopher Nolan? Then next week’s The Dark Knight might look like the film outlined in this screenplay. (Warning: Some NSFW language.) Kudos to the parodists who created this, though I have to dock you half a point for neglecting a scene where Batman walks in slo-mo toward the camera, away from a fireball (pictured).

Comments (1-23) of 23 Add your comment

  • Jackie

    Hi-larious. Best line by far: “Which internets do we hack?” “All of them.”
    Brillz. Absolutely love it. I’d pay $10 to see this, just to laugh.

  • Ceballos

    My favorite part: “She’s the hottest woman in the world but she wears glasses because she is also the smartest woman in the world”

  • Alex

    That’s a horrible hypothetical. Now let’s never speak of it again.

  • jcarla

    Do you know how much I shuddered just looking at the title!?! NEVER do that to us again! You are bringing on teh curse of Schmacher!

  • ames

    It’s really sad/funny how close I can imagine this is to an actual Michael Bay script. lol It works in some movies…just not Batman.

  • Anonymous

    Hillarious, though the funniest part is the amount of people who posted in TheSpill.com’s comments section thinking that the script was real.

  • Stephanie T.

    What if Michael Bay directed Batman?
    The movie would have an awesome pussycat.

  • Tim Lade

    Gary I think a slow mo fireball walk is more John Woo no?

  • M

    Well, that would still be marginally better than Batman: The Last Stand as directed by Brett Ratner!

  • Ep Sato

    Susman, every now and then you make one gem of a posting. That you’ve filed a Micheal Bay concept in the “hell to the no” pile wins you mega brownie points with me.
    Once I saw Bay’s 3 hour vision of Pearl Harbor (the movie was longer than the actual invasion BTW), I could no longer give this man any love. His Verizon commercial was cool, but the world’s better off with him directing movies based on toy franchises than movies based on comics or someone else’s idea (ahem. The Island) …

  • Ep Sato

    M and Stephanie T, LOL!
    The upside of a Rattner flick is that we could get Johnny Drama to cameo in it…

  • GeeMoney

    Ha ha. How about Uwe Boll? Talk about craptastic!

  • Laura M

    This was pure gold. Thanks for posting!

  • Epitrite@aol.com

    I read the faux script…that’s Independence Day. LOL!

  • Rich

    Laugh all you want. It was still better than Batman and Robin.

  • Raven_Moon

    That was hilarious & frightening all at once.

  • the ricker

    Thanks a lot. Now I need to wash my brain out with bleach to kill the image of Batman slo mo walking with the violins in the background. I’m sure joker and his minions would be doin’ the slo mo as well.

  • t3hdow

    I laughed the most on the parts describing the overabundance of explosions with tanks emerging from the blast, and the way overdone camera angles, fixating on Rachel Dawes.
    The ‘internets’ line was also pretty good.

  • Ryan

    Wait…where is the slo-mo shot of kids running with Batmobiles in their hands? Or the people of all ages and ethnicities huddling around to get news as Gotham teeters in the balance?
    Still epically funny!

  • Jim

    Wow, that is scary accurate. My favorite part is all the military porn that Bay gets off on, like the numerous exterior shots of the Pentagon.

  • Rob Grizzly

    Insanely funny.
    They should do an M Night Shamaylan version, where every body just stares ominously at each other for 2 hours, interrupted by the occasional loud noise. And then the twist is The Joker IS Batman!

  • Spill Movie Reviews

    Hey all! Thanks so much for picking this up and for everyone’s comments. We’ve enjoyed reading your reactions to this unearthed script ;)
    Thanks again!
    -The Spill Crew

  • Jelana

    I kinda get why the people commenting on The Spill’s site thought it was a real script. Knowing Bay’s work, if I hadn’t been clued in I might have thought is was real as well. And I wear glasses, so you know I’m smart.

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