Total Guitar magazine recently named Celine Dion and Anastacia’s rendition of AC/CD’s "You Shook Me All Night Long" (from 2002’s Divas Las Vegas concert on VH1) as the worst song cover of all time. (Thanks to Popeater for the heads up.) As a rabid Anastacia fan who still can’t understand the American songbird’s lack of success in her home country — the uninitiated should go directly to "Paid My Dues" without passing ‘Go’ or collecting $200 — I had no choice but to write a blog item in her defense.
My pick for the world’s worst cover would have to be Jessica Simpson’s "These Boots Are Made for Walkin’" (embedded after the jump). Bad enough that the Newlyweds star commits attempted sexy against Nancy Sinatra’s 1966 classic using a wheeze/speak that’s about as erotic as an asthma attack, but she also treats the song’s saucy lyrics with all the care of a dock worker gutting a freshly caught tuna. Thus, genius turns of phrase such as "You keep lying, when you oughta be truthin’" and "I just found me a brand new box of matches" get replaced with bland references to Simpson’s role in the related big-screen remake of TV’s Dukes of Hazzard. Add an unfortunate "rap" interlude, the sullying of legend Willie Nelson’s good name, and a video that pairs one of my favorite old-school female-empowerment anthems with footage of Simpson writhing suggestively against a suds-soaked motor vehicle, and, well, clearly I’ve done my duty of expunging the offending title from Anastacia’s record.
Then again, perhaps you all have your own nominees for the all-time worst cover. List your choice in the comments section below, and because I like to be a little evil (especially on Mondays), I must insist that you limit yourself to one song, and one song only. Ready, set, reveal!
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I will stick with your Jessica Simpson but instead insist that her rendition of “Take My Breath Away” was far worse than “These Boots..”
She took a classic 80s song that is still a staple at high school dances and screeched it to death. Not only do I hate her version, I can barely listen to Berlin’s version without thoughts of her creeping in my head.
The most painful and cringeworthy remake I have ever heard has to be “Sweet Child of Mine” by Sheryl Crow. Aaaccckkk! What was she thinking?
The first song that comes to mind is The Jonas Brothers version of Aha’s Take On Me. I only heard it because they “sang” it on Dancing with the Stars, otherwise I might have been spared the total annihilation of an iconic 80s song by those super sappy tween brother nightmares.
Slezak, you make a strong case, but I actually agree with Allison…I absolutely hate Simpson’s version of “Take my Breath away”!
However, my pick would be Madonna’s version of “American Pie”…just brutal.
Another vote for Jessica Simpson, but it’s for the way she shrieked her way through Robbie Williams’ “Angels.” That was a travesty.
You give such a perfect example of the worst song cover that I’m momentarily unable to think of anything else that comes close. JS’s version leaves nothing to the imagination, while NS’s version, tame by comparison, is still sexy. Ah, Jess, over the top as usual.
Oh, and Celine Dion’s version of “I Drove All Night.” I know, let’s take ALL of the longing and emotion out of the song and just make it an experiment about how long and high a single note can be dragged out. Over and over. Oh, and to truly kill the original sentiment, let’s record it for a car commerical. Vomit.
Let’s not disregard the horrifying screeh of Michael Bolton covering practically every song ever written.
Weird! Just as I’m reading this story…AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” is on the radio.
Easily, without a doubt, the horrid version of Hearts “Alone” that Celine Dion took upon herself to “remake”. What was once a charged, seductive ballad is now a sappy, sticky love song. She definitely doesn’t have the right type of voice to handle a rock song.
Since somebody already mentioned Madonna’s “American Pie”, I’ll throw my vote to Everclear’s “Brown Eyed Girl”.
Faith Hill’s version of ‘Take another piece of my heart’ – janis joplin would vomit.
I don’t care how many people already said it…. Madonna’s American Pie is so awful it should be a war crime.
For me the worst song cover is Courtney Love and Hole doing “Gold Dust Woman.” Stevie Nicks should never have let that happen!
What about Dolly Parton’s Stairway to Heaven? UGH!!!!
Going back a few years, MC Hammer did a half-sung, half-rapped remake of “Have You Seen Her”. As a bonus, it had maybe the single worst lyric I’ve ever heard–”The girl is hard to see, like an unseen v.j.” I’m queasy just thinking about it… Oh, and I second the Anastacia kudos!
Well Any cover by Jessica Simpson will do as the worst cover!!!
The first cover I remember being up in arms over was Smash Mouth’s “I’m a Believer”. But I’m sure there’s something on one of the 72 volumes of “Rod Stewart Caterwauls through the American Songbook” that’s more painful–I think he might deserve his own subcategory.
I have to second Jessica Simpson’s take on Robbie Williams’ “Angels” — oh man, I never thought a song that gorgeous could sound so horrible.
I Love ANASTACIA and really enjoy the Celine and Anastacia duet on Diva’s! It was campy fun just like it should have been.
I’m gonna have to go with Limp Bizkit’s cover of ‘Behind Blue Eyes’. Do I really have to list any reasons why? I mean…it’s Limp Bizkit.
There is no argument, there is no debate. The WORST song cover of ALL time is British singer Lemar’s cover of The Darkness’s “I Believe in a Thing Called Love.” Hunt it down and discover true atrocity.
While it’s not the worst, P. Diddy aka Puff Dadday aka whatever covering “Kashmir” for the freakin’ GODZILLA SOUNDTRACK. Even worse, he had Jimmy Page’s help!
Jessica Simspon doing Robbie Williams’ beautiful “Angels”. I just discovered this recently on youtube but OMFG is it TERRIBLE. She BUTCHERS IT. I’m getting angry just thinking about it…
I can’t stand the Tom Jones/Gwen Stefani version of “Burning Down the House.” Ick.
Aw, I like Celine and Anastasia’s cover of that song! It’s high-energy and they really get into it.
I count just about everything sung on “American Idol” as a cover, so I’m going to say there are plenty of worse covers from the various seasons of that show.
Oops, Anastacia with a “c”. Hee hee. I guess they’d better take away my fan card.
No question – Hillary Duff’s atrocious cover of “My Generation.” It’s not just the fact that she really can’t rock. It’s the fact that either she or her people changed the lyrics to “Hope I DON’T die before I get old.” If you’re doing an iconic rock song, maybe you shouldn’t change the most famous line from that song to something that completely negates the song’s message. I’m sure the Disney people or her agents didn’t want her stirring any controversy, but if that’s true, they should have picked another song.
And didn’t William Shatner cover a few songs in his weird poetry-reading-style stuff?
If you think Jessica Simpson doing “These Boots” is awful, try listening to the version by Megadeth.