Now that I’m back in New York after Cannes, agitated discussions about the comparative merits of Gwyneth Paltrow in Two Lovers (she’s pictured, left, at the movie’s Cannes premiere) and whatever the new Clint Eastwood movie is going to be called have already receded in anticipation of agitated discussion about the comparative merits of You Don’t Mess With the Zohan. But I have one last bit of festival scoop for you.
So I’m having dinner with a friend-and-fellow-movie-journo, who tells me with amusement about a Cannes item he had read on Gawker in which New York Times critic Manohla Dargis had stormed away from a mobbed, delayed 10:30 p.m. Cannes press screening of Two Lovers declaring she’s "not going to wait an hour for f—–g [director] James Gray."
So I set about tracking down the item, which wasn’t on Gawker but instead on New York Magazine’s arts and entertainment blog, Vulture. Vulture had picked up the gossip from Defamer. Defamer had taken a New York Post blog item by Lou Lumenick describing a storming, cursing "major U.S. critic." Defamer had identified the critic as Manohla, only to follow up with an update reporting that Manohla had denied that she was the stormer. Then Vulture added its own update. Then Defamer joked/snarked/wondered — just yesterday — whether the critic was Rex Reed.
After the jump: the identity of the mystery critic is revealed!
Dear reader, the storming, cursing critic in this internationalincident was me. And since I’m giving PopWatch readers a spectacularscoop, let me tell you what happened next: I extricated myself from theangry mob at 9:30 p.m., took myself out to dinner, had a nice bowl ofpasta and a glass of wine, and returned an hour later to a crowd,albeit smaller, still waiting for f—–g James Gray. I got into the screening easily. And the theater was at least a quarter empty.
I’m happy I could break this news to you. As they say in beer ads, read blog items responsibly!
That’s hilarious! I only wish you’d have added “…and Gwyneth!” to your exclamation.
More proof, if such was needed, that the blogosphere is like nothing so much as a giant, electronic game of Telephone, with swearing.
Now I want some pasta.
Thanks. As an avid reader of this “the storming, cursing critic”–you, it makes me laugh to hear this. What better way to deal with anger than a detour to a wonderful meal?
You use the f-word?
awesome
Lisa, I know you catch A TON of flak for what is, to some readers, overly literate reviews.
Maybe what you need to do to win them over is sprinkle in some f-bombs into your reviews and add a little spice.
Seriously though, this is a pretty funny story.
F—-g A, Ceballos, and thanks for the excellent advice: From now on I’m going to write like my pal Peter Travers at f—-g Rolling Stone!
Looks like you’ve already got the hang of it.
Pasta at Cannes? Were you confused and thought you were at Venice?
Sorry Lisa, I could see this ending a mile away.
Props to you for calling yourself out for being a b.i.t.c.h.
Schwarzbaum The Shill, still the same. Glad you could fit some wine and food into your job. What a pro.
don – what’s your point, exactly? That movie critics at Cannes shouldn’t partake of food and drink?
Whatever. Great story, Lisa! Give ‘em f—-g hell!
I second daisyj’s comments, only I’m changing my pasta order to Dunkin’s because it’s morning.
Nice job, Lisa. I enjoy your reviews – keep ‘em coming, with or without the f-bombs!
Lisa Schwarzbaum , you suck. you are antiquated and closed minded. You are the perfect person to review in the 80′s. Open your eyes lady, we live in different times. We like special effect, action and it is not all about stupid movies like the one you rate A such as “Knocked up”. what a predictible movie, just like your antiquated reviews. Spped racer a C because it is suitable for young boys????? ARE YOU CRAZY!!
Just retire Lisa Schwarzbaum, you are too closed minded for this generation.