'The Bachelor' recap: Monkey + Matt

Bachelor_lWell, I thought Bachelor Matt was going to pick Chelsea… right up until his parents, Tony and Trish, said they could see him more with Shayne. In my mind, his parents’ blessing was all Matt needed to seal his happily ever after with his 22-year-old cuddle monkey. By the end of the finale, Shayne had won me over, too. And you know I hated that.

Let’s just get right to the final rose ceremony, shall we? I realized, as I watched the first limo pull up, that I was taking deep, calming breaths like Chelsea. Such a proud moment. Matt attempted to put us Chelsea at ease with a compliment: "You’ve worn some amazing dresses, and this has to be the best." Actually, Matt, she’s looked better, but you’re a leg man, so I see why you said that. Mercifully, he didn’t wait too long until he dropped the "I can’t give you everything you need" bomb. But what hurt the most, I’m sure, was the shrapnel: "At times I thought you were the one, many times." How is hearing that, or how much you’ll be missed, helpful? I loved that Chelsea stopped and fought with Matt as he walked her back to the limo, but I think her argument that Shayne was the fakest one in the house was a little desperate. She should have nailed him more for saying that his only "but" with her is that it took her a "long time" to open up to him. That’s such crap. A) You haven’t known each other a "long time" and B) The woman took off her panties on national television for you. She put herself out there, okay. Just tell her the truth: She’s not warm and cuddly, and you want a woman who is. That’s allowed. I think Chelsea’s "guarded" nature is what ultimately did her in with Matt’s parents as well. Though Trish was happy to see Matt being himself with Chelsea, she questioned whether she was seeing the true Chelsea. And to be fair, Chelsea spent all her time explaining why she was or wasn’t guarded and didn’t get to reveal anything about herself. (Well, other than that she’s a good guesser: She had Matt’s brother Simon on her side from the moment she correctly identified "wellies" as rain boots.)

Shayne’s London date went surprisingly well. Though she started off spilling wine on herself, she pulled it together for the meal. When Matt’s father asked her how old she was, she handled it with humor, which we know this family values: "I’m actually 12," she said. You have to admire how Shayne handled Simon. She asked him for his honest first impression of her, and then didn’t jump in and get defensive when he admitted that initially, he had no idea what Matt saw in her other than the obvious blond beauty. But Simon had to admit that he’d underestimated her. She didn’t shy away from difficult questions and was warm, open, and genuine. Those qualities impressed Matt’s mother, who said she felt instantly at ease with Shayne. I think in an odd way, Shayne’s laid-back vibe is a match for the British reserve, and could be why Matt’s parents said they choose her over hyper Chelsea. (Though, I’d have paid to see one-on-one time with Shayne and Matt’s dad.)

After the jump, is "Monkey, will you marry me?" the most romantic proposal in Bachelor history?

addCredit(“The Bachelor: Adam Larkey”)

In the end, it came down to Chelsea’s energy versus Shayne’s warmth and total devotion to Matt (which he preferred to describe as "not having a selfish bone in her body"). He told Shayne that he’d looked into her big, brown eyes and thought it was too good to be true: An Englishman falling in love with an American movie star. But she made him believe that’s she’s just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her — okay, I’m paraphrasing. There’s been laughter, fun, kisses, and "there’s been monkey," he said. He knows they’ll always be there for one another, he added, before dropping to one knee. Seeing Shayne lose her balance was awfully cute. As was her (rehearsed?) comeback: "I will marry you under one condition, that you will never look at another woman for the rest of our lives…. because you have looked at way too many during our relationship."

It’s no wonder Shayne made Matt repeat the words "I love you" again and again. On their last night together before the final rose ceremony — after she dreamed about Matt proposing to her while floating through the sky like an angel (or, you know, parasailing) — she’d given him what she called the most amazing gift he’d ever receive from her. It was a photo of her, laying on the beach, next to an "I love you" she’d written in the sand. You could see she really wanted Matt to say the words then. But all she got was "Without a doubt, I’m falling in love with you." (Chelsea’s post-helicopter-ride present, "Matt’s California Survival Kit" complete with breakfast-in-bed cereal, earned the same response minus the "without a doubt"… telling?)

So, do you agree with Matt’s choice, or do you agree with Chelsea that he’s a fool? Did you notice how when Matt would speak about his feelings for Chelsea into the camera, he always seemed to struggle for words? Do you think that’s because he truly cared for her and couldn’t voice how much he wished their relationship had been perfect, or because he had to find the right words to make us believe that’s what he was thinking? And lastly, how much did you love those subtle cutaway shots from the gorgeous beach to the Hilton hotel sign?

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  • hjl

    I am thrilled with his choice and hope those crazy kids make it work. Despite her bleach blonde looks, Shayne has depth,warmth and class to her. She’s definitely young but hey, it can happen. Congrats!

  • AA

    Why no After The Final Rose episode? Are they actually together?

  • Andi

    Shayne was not my favorite at all, but for some reason, I found myself “without a doubt” liking the girl last night. I thought the discussion with Matt’s mum about divorce was sincere or at least I hope it was. Tons better this time than the last bachelor loser. Anxious for the Bachelorette next week.

  • Lola

    As crazy as it seems (at least to me) Shayne won me over these past two weeks. She exhibited a great, quick sense of humor and actually seemed to care for the guy. Plus she did seem sincere and a bit more mature beyond her years. It’s like she also was in on the joke — the makeup kit on the slopes, telling Matt he can’t look at any more women because he’s done more than his share during their relationship, etc. I wish them well…and can’t wait for next week!

  • laura

    I hated both girls voices .. they had that ‘ baby girl voice ‘ most of the time they sounded drunk … WHAT the hell is wrong with this girls???

  • bird

    I can’t believe he chose Shayne. Frankly I can’t believe she kept making the cut week after week. She was like fingernails on a backboard to me. Rather than wish them ill, I hope they are happy together.

  • Isabel

    You know there won’t be a wedding after reading this on ‘ People ‘ mag …
    ‘The 22-year-old actress from Los Angeles and daughter of actor Lorenzo Lamas said she is not too young to get married but is not rushing to the altar, either.
    “We will not tie the knot until I am mentally and physically prepared as well as Matt,” she said. ‘
    Until I AM MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY PREPARED???? ……. hello! Hon that day will never happen.

  • jones

    I liked Shayne much more by the end then I did at the beginning. I wonder, though, if Matt has Hollywood ambitious and thinks that being with Shayne will help them along. I felt bad for Chelsea and thought she would be Matt’s pick. I did, however, think her comment about Shayne being fake was a bit harsh and uncalled for, though. Oh, and Shayne is pretty, but I thought her dress was really 80’s prom-like and made her look larger than she is.

  • wintersux

    All I could think of when I saw Shayne’s dress was the scene in Grease where whats-his-face called Frenchie a “beautiful blonde pineapple”.

  • Rach

    Hmmm…no “After the Final Rose” or appearance on GMA this morning? Me thinks the “happy couple” may no longer be quite so happy.

  • Mrs. Taylor

    I’m confused. Matt says Chelsea is “everything I’ve ever wanted,” and keeps telling her over and over and over again that she has to open up. When she finally does, slam! Door in the face. How about that long goodbye in Chelsea’s hotel room? He only gave Shayne two pecks, and that was it. I just don’t get it. An “American movie star”? What has she done? Yes, she seems sweet and sincere, but also very young and naive (and lose that baby voice! “Maaaaattttt…”). Seriously, does he really think she’s willing to have the kids he so badly wants at 22, let alone put her career on hold? My husband all along said “He’s a man. Don’t give him too much credit. He’s going to go for the blonde cheesecake.” And sure enough. Bring back the hot dog vendor!!

  • Sue J

    I was a middle class kid growing up around rich Hollywood kids in Malibu. I really didn’t want to like Shayne because of all the phonyness I have seen and how twisted so many of them are because of their upbringing. But in the end she even one me over. I really think she is genuine in her feelings. For me to say that with my issues with fake blonde hollywood babies is really something. I wish them the best!

  • irish

    I cannot believe that he chose a 22 year old “actress” who whines…… I doubt very seriously that they will get married, but in the event that they do, I hope he’s smart enough to get a pre-nup. You’re talking spoiled, high maintenance (who has makeup in their pocket on ski slope!) and very immature. It should have been Chelsea or Amanda……but they always seem to let the best ones go…

  • Lene

    Ah, crap. The cuddle monkey won me over, too. Chelsea’s great, but a bit too prickly for a 26-year-old guy.
    What happened to the After the Final Rose program? I feel cheated!

  • Friday

    God it is awful how much I enjoy this show. I loved Shayne from the start. She had cool clothes and cool sort of trendy LA stuff and she was cute and fun. Typical California bleached blond and tan but then ends up to be athletic too. It was fun to watch her. I had no interest in Chelsea at all the whole time although I did notice that she became prettier as the show went on. She was bad at communicating and didn’t seem to look Matt in the eye very often..the undressing scene was tasteless in my opinion. I enjoyed watching Matt propose to his “monkey” last night. I wish them well but who knows if it will last. She is very young. But it was GOOD TV!

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