Snap Judgment: 'Farmer Wants a Wife'

Farmerwantsawife_lMatt has chickens, he has eggs; he has chicks that beg. The 29-year-old buff, bronze country boy (pictured) is likable and seemingly genuinely sweet in the series premiere of the CW’s Farmer Wants a Wife (read EW critic Gillian Flynn’s official review here), but the show is messier than the cow pie that caused Stephanie, the first eliminated bride-to-be, to have a Britney-esque breakdown after she accidentally stepped in it. The program tries so hard to smash together the two opposing worlds of rural and urban through embarrassing stereotypes (bumpkins wearing pumps), but the problem really begins with the Billy Ray-meets-Dr. Dre countrified rap theme song that starts,

Now gather ’round and lend yer ear
I’ve got a tale of a man I want you to hear.
His land and his cattle and his chickens abound
But this ol’ boy ain’t got no lady around.

The rhythm is reminiscent of a trip I took about 15 years ago from Philly to Bel-Air. Maybe it would sound better if MC Rip-Off changed the lyrics to:

In Hicksville, Missouri born and raised
In a cornfield is where he spends most of his days,
Chillin’ on a bench swing, sippin’ lemonade all cool
And maybe shootin’ some animals to fill his ripped-ab stomach with food.
But then a bus full of women tired of superficial guys
Traded them along with their privileged city lives.
These broads broadened their horizons and got into several catty fights, but I didn’t care;
I just kept wondering how this show made it onto the air.

Word?

addCredit(“Farmer Wants a Wife: Michael Desmond”)

Comments (13 total) Add your comment
  • Snarf

    Even more contrived than it’s many, many predecesors (The Bachlor, The Bachlorette, Joe Millionaire, Who Want’s to Marry a Gold Digging Skank…)

  • Winona

    I watched bits of it, and was definitely entertained – while my Hubby and I aren’t completely country-boy-meets-city-girl, he was raised in a rural environment and I in a suburban one. His older sister married a pig farmer, so we get our taste of the country life often enough. But it was definitely hilarious at times to see cityfied girls stuck in the sticks without a clue.

  • mscisluv

    Fresh Prince = Love.

  • Megan

    Nothing like implying that an entire state is ‘Hickish.’ Talk about a snap judgment. All of us Missourians will just head back to our fields now, thanks.

  • Anonymous

    I laughed my friggin fanny off — can’t believe they failed to mention the show has not one but two virgins! Awesome.

  • Nix

    Chardonnay-sipping latte liberal. Oh, and the metrical rhythm of the fourth line is wack.

  • monday

    I haven’t seen the show so I can’t comment on it, but honey he looks fine.

  • Chuck

    The same theme has been a sometimes hit for a very long time in Germany.
    Nothing original here

  • Kristen Smith

    I love the fact that he picked flowers instead of buying them, city girls have no idea about a True Man

  • bill

    Rural? Portage des Sioux is closer to down town St. Loius than I am and I live in a suburb of 60,000 people. No one lives in Portage des Siouox because it floods almost every year. These people shop in malls and have every amenity of St. Louis at thier finger tips. Hardly my idea of real Missouri farm life.

  • christine allison

    Just caught this last night with 8 ladies left: These girls have absolutely NO concept of the work involved in living on a farm. IF I was younger and had the fancy to try this myself, I certainly would NOT be sitting around drinking beer while the sink was full of dirty dishes. And how about all the chores that need doing BEFORE breakfast? I am going to continue to watch just for the laughs, I certainly hope he doens’t pick a one of those “wanna-bes”.

  • ellen

    um do you know the whole theme song to farmer wants a wife like the singing part?
    thank you

  • Gina

    This show struck close to home for me. I was raised in Miami and moved to Tennessee with my family at age 17. I met and fell in love with my husband (now ex)who was not a farmer but as country as you can get. He and his father owned a sawmill. So I can definitely identify with the culture shock of city girl to country girl. I learned how to milk a cow, churn my own butter and raise my own garden. It can be a hard life that is for sure. But as hard as it can be to some, to others it’s the only way to live.

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