'The Bachelor' recap: As usual, the superlatives were unnecessary

Robinmatt_lThe road to the final four was supposed to be paved with "the most shocking confrontation in Bachelor history" and the "the most dramatic rose ceremony yet." Naturally, it wasn’t. I’ll admit that when I realized that either Amanda or Robin would get the boot along with Marshana, I found myself saying "Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God." (I may have been a little tipsy.) But that’s because I expected Robin (pictured, with Matt) to get the rose, and I didn’t want to see Amanda go. When Amanda’s name was called instead, I thought for sure Robin would ask Matt to walk her outside so she could say, "What the hell?" But she didn’t. She gave him the evil eye and said, "Bon soir." What?! On the one hand, I respect her decision to not give a man who doesn’t want her anymore of her time. But Matt all but told her that she was a lock for a rose, that’s why he didn’t need to have a one-on-one date with her and why he was asking her about Michigan, so it’d be nice to know what changed his mind. (Maybe he, too, thought it was weird the way that she just slipped into the spot where Shayne had been laying with him in the snow in Sun Valley? Or maybe it was her intensity?) I guess we’ll just have to tune in to the tell all, won’t we? Damn it. 

As for the confrontation between Marshana and Chelsea — it was the loudest in Bachelor history. Maybe. Chelsea said Marshana acted like she didn’t want to be there; Marshana said obviously, she did. Had she not played rugby for the man and taken an elbow to the face? Had she not let him toss her in the snow (after he chased her) and put skis on her for the first time? Had she not gotten into a swimming pool? Yes, you did, Marshana. But you’re keeping score ("I have risen to every occasion, taken everything he’s thrown at me. I’ve done really well…"), which doesn’t sound like you’re enjoying yourself. Just because you go on a show to meet a man, doesn’t mean you have to dig him.

After the jump, Shayne’s packin’ and Chelsea needs to be mackin’.

As of now, I’m not sure which of the remaining four — Chelsea,Shayne, Amanda, and Noelle — Matt will choose. His one-on-one sleigh ridewith Chelsea in Sun Valley wasn’t the romantic outing he’d hoped forbecause she’s anti-PDA (which we know he is decidedly not) and has aphobia of holding hands. But she made a brilliant move at dinner, afterMatt told her that his parents would love her (ahhh!), and wrote her own "fantasy suite" card that essentially invitedherself back to Matt’s place. It took her a little too long to figureout that Matt saying, "I know that you can be romantic," was her cue tokiss him. More surprising, however, is that I’m actually going to type this sentence: Kudosto the producers for giving them privacy so that Chelsea could beherself.

On to Shayne, the queen of cuddling, who impressed Matt on the groupdate with her snowboarding skills and her ability to pack half hermakeup bag into the pockets of her jacket. "I have to look good foryou, babe," she said. (Cannot wait to see Matt meet her dad, LorenzoLamas, next week!) Meanwhile, Amanda wooed Matt with her bikini and ajoke about her "redneck" parents cooking him possum. That teaser clip  that we saw ofher hometown visit — you know, the one in which her mother was rubbingMatt’s nipple — is also a joke, right? Amanda told her mother to pretendto hit on Matt… Right?

That leaves us with Noelle, who got her first real alone time withMatt on an outdoor ice rink. I understand what Matt means when he says hejust really likes her. She seems warm and genuine, the kind ofperson with whom you could be comfortable sitting in silence becauseshe’d be too nice to ever make you feel awkward. She and Matt both have scarson their faces (which I never noticed), and he admires that she hasn’tallowed her car accident to make her afraid of living. That’s somethingreal that he’s learned about someone. Shocking!

So, who do you think Matt is going to choose? What’s your theoryon Robin’s demise? And did you catch Matt ask Noelle if she’d be willing to move to London or California? (And did you roll your eyes like I did? It’s not that I don’t like Los Angeles; It’s that I thought Matt was above the reality-star-moves-to-Hollywood cliché.)

Comments (35 total) Add your comment
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  • mg

    Oh come on. Robin was a goner the minute she said she was “95% sure she was getting a rose”. I just wasn’t sure if Matt had seen through Marshana’s fakeness. She was trying way too hard. Way to “be yourself”, girl! I predict Shayne & Chelsea in the final 2. He’s gonna love Durango – go CO!

  • Andi

    I was in a dead panic that he was going to pick Robin over Amanda. Robin was waaaay too intense – along with Marshana. I really like Noelle – now that we have got to see her!

  • mg

    …And I’m soooo looking forward to “The Lamas” next week!

  • Alison

    Ok, so as a younger (25) person on these boards, I have to admit. I had no clue who Lamas was. So, when I wikipedia’ed him I found out this little tidbit about Shayne:
    His next marriage was to Michele Smith in 1983, resulting in two children: son A.J. Lamas, and daughter Shayne. Shayne can be seen on General Hospital in flashback scenes as a young Carly Corinthos; also appeared in the MTV reality show Twentyfourseven.
    So she was already on a reality show. REALITY SHOW GROUPIE!!! I hope Matt doesn’t pick her.

  • Ms Daisy

    Marshana was such a drama queen… honey, trust me, you aren’t nearly as fabulous as you think you are. Matt probably guessed that Robin had stalker tendencies and decided it would be wise to let her go now while he has show security protecting him.

  • Gretchen

    I think Robin was yes, too intense, and maybe Matt got tired of her butting in on all his dates like the girls did. Obviously she wasnt as secure in their “connection” as she made herself out to be. The best quote of the night was Marshana, as she was leaving say that she “left with her integrity”. Ha. Good try.

  • Slezak’s Stalker

    Poor, crazy Robin. Like Chelsea said “you can’t make someone fall in love with you.” He looks the most comfortable with Shayne. Her and Amanda in the finale, but I’m betting he’s going to pick Shayne. Especially if he’s thinking about moving to California.

  • jones

    I was shocked and pleased to see both Robin & Marshana go last night. I actually like all 4 of the final ladies for once. I did not like Shayne in the beginning, but she really cracked me up last night bringing cosmetics in her ski jacket. Classic! It will be funny to see “the Lamas” grill Matt considering he (the Lamas) has been married like 4 or 5 times.

  • Go Noelle!

    I am so tired of reality tv show producers showing the scenes of african-american girls doing the “bitchy girl yelling, don’t get all up in my face, don’t disrespect me” demonstration. They do it on antm, real world, survivor, etc. I get that it is good from drama, and that it shows their “africanness,” in the words of fatima, but I think it does a disservice to a group of people by promoting stereotypes. All black girls do not act like that, although that would not be readily apparent if you watched most major network reality tv.

  • Cara

    God! Matt is being so SMART, week after week–he’s completely ruining my ability to make fun of him, and I really want to! Seriously, every freakin’ week he picks exactly who he should, despite a million reasons why he wouldn’t. He’s…kind of awesome.
    Mandi, I can’t believe you didn’t mention Marshana’s hysterical “I’m awesome” rant. You know, the one that goes “I’m thoughtful, I’m kind, I’m fun to be around, I am a GOOD PERSON.” Best part of the night.

  • cj

    I’m really liking his final 4 too. I’m guessing it’ll be Amanda and Shayne in the end – I wish he could have had more of a chance to get to know Noelle though – she seems great.
    Good riddance to Robin – girl was way to self-centered (and crazy).

  • Noelle is an actress

    I, too, was surprised when Matt asked Noelle if she’d be willing to move to England OR California. Ummm… the answer to California is almost definitely YES. Look on IMDB – Miss Noelle (Noelle Drake) has acting experience, including a House episode, under her belt. I bet she’d just love to move to CA (just not for Matt).

  • To “Go Noelle!”

    If there weren’t any of those “get out of my face” scenes taking place on these reality shows, then the producers wouldn’t have anything to show, now would they?

  • macy

    Does anyone know of a blog site that is done by a girl name Lindsay or Lindz that recaps episodes of the Bachelor? I read her recaps all last season, but can’t remember her site to read this seasons. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.

  • LaLa27

    I think the website you are thinking about is http://www.ihategreenbeans.com and her name is Lincee. Hope this helps!

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