I guess Omarosa is the trans fat of Apprentice, because ever since her ouster last week, NBC has been advertising the show as an "Omarosa-free Celebrity Apprentice." But unlike a box of low-fat cookies, a healthy downgrading of a harmful substance didn’t make things any less tasty. In fact, last night’s Celebrity Apprentice was, as our dearly departed friend would say, just as "yummy, dude" as previous shows. (Especially with that Stevie B cherry on top). Luckily for us, though last night’s episode was low on drama — thanks to Omarosa’s firing — there were had plenty of quotables to keep viewers at home entertained. (And I give a big thank you to the lovely Lindsay Soll, who kept you all entertained during my absence last week).
So in honor of our dear departed Stevie B (pictured), I’ll start us off with a quote that so fits our preaching Hollywood mogul-wannabe to a T, it was only fitting that he said it on the night of his ouster (in response to Trace’s remark that Stevie B had crabs in his pants): "Those days are over."
Funny, reformed and delusional (with just a little bit of desperation thrown in for good measure), our Stevie B was made up of the perfect ingredients for a reality show contestant. (Can you tell this challenge made me hungry?). I have to say, as much as I’ve ribbed the guy in previous weeks for his tendency to reveal himself as a has-been actor desperate for a comeback, I’m really going to miss the Flea. Good thing we won’t have to wait long to see him again — in an Apprentice twist, Trump announced that he would fire two more celebrities within minutes of re-entering the boardroom, and the two finalists will reunite with previously ousted contestants to fight for the win. (And certainly it will be a win that will "Knock you out," right Piers?). And though we have yet to discover who those two finalists will be, I will say it’s a pretty safe bet to assume that Carol and Trace will make up the final two. Unless Trump wants to turn the finals into a battle between good vs. not-so-good — I’ll reserve the "evil" stamp for our ousted Omarosa — in which case Piers might make the cut alongside Trace.
Excited as we might be for the final showdown, we must focus on lastnight’s episode. After the madness that was last week’s boardroom,Piers spent the majority of the show’s first few minutes celebrating"the biggest slaughter in the history of The Apprentice." anevent that he apparently enjoyed almost as much as the birth of hischildren (hmm… I’ll let Omarosa judge that one). He did, however, takesome time out from his gloating to apologize to Trace for surprisinghim with a kiss in last week’s boardroom. Of course, Lennox delightedin the whole spectacle, and used it as an opportunity to try his handat comedy by remarking: "This is Brokeback Boardroom." Thiscomment, of course, begged two questions: 1. Did Lennox not get thememo that it’s no longer 2005? And 2. Since Lennox is an aspiringfilmmaker, as we’ve learned in previous episodes, does this mean we’llhave to one day sit through a viewing of Brokeback Boardroom? (In all fairness, it would probably be better than Meet the Spartans).
Either way, Lennox had to put his Hollywood dreams on hold for thetime being to focus on the challenge at hand. This week, the two teamswere instructed to create and sell a Quizno’s sandwich, but with arefreshing catch: Trump put a cap on the price of each hero, thuseliminating our celebs’ ability to cash in by simply utilizing theirRolodexes. (Plus, I’m guessing producers felt it just wasn’t worth itto watch celebrities shove food into their mouths if Jenna Jamesonwasn’t going to make an appearance.)
Right away, Empresario seemed on a roll. Master marketer TraceAtkins created a clever name for their sandwich — the Cowboy Club —while Stevie B roamed the streets like a madman handing out fliers topromote both his heroes ("I am crazy… for Jesus!"). Hydra, on the otherhand, struggled to obtain their leaflets and Piers, ever the teamplayer, blamed Carol for the delay.
Here’s where the unfair advantage comes in. Some people, includingTrump, might say that Hydra had a better chance at winning to beginwith since they outnumbered Empresario 3 to 2. But let’s face it — thereal reason Hydra coasted to victory is because of the location oftheir Quizno’s. Now, I’ve lived in New York long enough to recognizenearly every crevice of Manhattan, but I can honestly say, I have noidea where Empresario were forced to sell their sandwiches. Not that I’mmaking excuses for Trace and Stevie B (well, I kind of am), but theirlocation seemed far less advantageous than Hydra’s Midtown East spot, a site that’s surrounded every day by hungry office workers on theirlunch breaks. As a real estate mogul, Trump should have known thatthis challenge really came down to location, location, location, butalas, such logic wasn’t in the cards for dear ol’ Stevie B. (Though itcertainly wouldn’t have hurt had Stevie B broken a wee littlecommandment and worn a shirt that read, "I’m Alec Baldwin.") So even though Empresario had a better concept, sandwich,and attitude (not to mention the Dude Upstairs on their side), the winwas handed to the very lucky, very obnoxious Hydra, and Stevie B wassent on his way after what was probably the most civil boardroom in Apprentice history.
What did you think, PopWatchers? Were you pulling for Trace orStevie B? Were you laughing as hard as I was when Trace and Stevie Bpredicted that Hydra would create a "knockout" sandwich? Which oustedceleb are you most looking forward to seeing again? And given a choice,what would you rather do: meet Nelson Mandela, meet the Queen or win achallenge on Celebrity Apprentice?
Comments (1-30) of 32 Add your comment
I found Trace so winsome I went and checked out his music… wow, not so much. (Though his bod is still killer and his smile still winsome)
If the show comes down the way it should Piers will win. Trace and Carol will have done their jobs well. Lennox will make lame comments but be successful because apparantly New Yorkers dig boxing… like REALLY dig it.
Totally agree–it had nothing to do with the sandwich choice, and everything to do with the location of the store.
Can’t say I understood the reasoning for firing SB for his overall performance instead of on the last challenge, but who cares? I’m pulling for Trace to go all the way.
Love Trace and his music. He’s hilarious. Piers is too, but he’s no marketing genius: Lennox again? Oh my. I still hope it’s Piers v. Trace.
I think you are on crack if you think it will be Carol and Trace in the final two. Piers is an absolute star on this program and he has kicked hte most a$$. He is deserving of being there. As for the other 3, I think its a toss up, but I hope its Trace vs. Piers.
On a side note, I can not believe you make everyone go through the rigor of competing all these weeks, and then when you get to the final 4, you are just going to dismiss 2. Why not just have one extra show, kick 2 off at once, and then have your final 2 fair and square.
On the preview for next week Trump said something along the lines of wanting to watch these two fight it out so I think he’s going to have Lennox in there. I don’t think it’s fair if he was. The first time he was PM he was terrible and then last night he was only doing whatever Piers said. As long as Lennox isn’t in the finals I’ll be happy.
I don’t think there’s any way Trump can deny Piers an opportunity to be one of the final two. Say what you will about the man, he delivered. And I don’t think Lennox stands a chance of being the other person. To me, it’s down to Carol v. Trace for that last spot, and something tells me that it might be Carol who gets it. (I love Trace and will be highly upset to see him go, but Carol was the worker bee of the whole time, plus being a leader, something that I think plays in her favor. Granted, Trace was too. Dang. Now I don’t know who it’ll be!)
The final 2 will have to be Piers and Trace. When Trump said he wants to see these 2 fight it out, the obvious choice is Omarosa and Piers, but Omarosa can’t win a challenge to save her boob job, so it has to be Trace v Piers. Granted, Piers is an a-hole, but the guy wins. I hope Trace cleans his clock and takes it all.
The final 2 will have to be Piers and Trace. When Trump said he wants to see these 2 fight it out, the obvious choice is Omarosa and Piers, but Omarosa can’t win a challenge to save her boob job, so it has to be Trace v Piers. Granted, Piers is an a-hole, but the guy wins. I hope Trace cleans his clock and takes it all.
I am betting on a Trace v Piers show down. Ivanka kept bringing up that Trace had brought more money in than most of the other celebs. Piers has just been kick @$$ this whole season I don’t know what the logic would be of firing him.
You are so right about the location – definite unfair advantage for Lennox & Piers. I work a few blocks from Quiznos on Franklin & Bdwy. Believe me that is a dead end corner loc. There’s a more popular one @ Chambers & Church St – I don’t know why they weren’t at that one.
TRUMP IS A SHOWMAN.
IT WILL GOOD VS. EVIL,
TRACE VS. PIERS.
Piers has been the driving force of every win throughout every single episode of this series. He absolutely deserves to win the title of Celebrity Apprentice.
It HAS to be Trace and Lennox! Piers is one of the most annoying men I’ve ever seen on TV! He just talks, and talks, and talks and thinks he’s so smart, and so funny, and the best thing since sliced bread!
He is a jerk I want to punch his face everytime I see him and hear him!
I like Carol but she’s too under the radar to really win!
Don’t underestimate how much Trump LOVES Lennox.
The man is an ox and buffoon and Trump thinks he can do no wrong. Just for calling Lennox “sleepy boy” a few episodes back, Piers almost got canned.
No way is Trump letting go of his favorite.
Piers is a troll- but he’s an effective Troll- It SHOULD be Piers left standing.
Did no one else catch the “I KNOW!” comment from Trace when Stevie B. told him it was a great name for his sandwich?! I actually rewound it just ’cause it was so genuinely funny! Trace’s story with his daughter and the charity is just so dang touching that I find myself tore up that he hasn’t won any money yet, so I’ll be rooting for him.
I heard the comment Mr. Trump made also.I believe it will be two men and most likely Lewis will be one of them. I keeping my fingers crossed for Trace. If you want to be turned on to Trace’s best stuff, try a search of the videos “Chrome” , “Hot Mama” and “I’m Trying”. He’s hot, he rocks and it looks like he’s got a good business head too!
CAROL is going to make it? She’s done nothing, and Lennox has been sleepwalking his way through the entire series. Piers carried the entire show, and was almost always solely responsible for his team’s wins. It HAS to be Piers v. Trace in the final.
Sorry, I doubt it’ll be Carol. Nice lady, but during the challenge when they sold stuff on TV, Trump said “Shouldn’t Carol have known about the payment plan? I find it hard to believe she didn’t.” or something.
nelson mandela
Final: Piers Vs. Trace
Ultimate Outcome: Piers is Pierless thus eaving no Trace of Atkins
Final: Piers Vs. Trace
Ultimate Outcome: Piers is Pierless thus leaving no Trace of Atkins
Final: Piers Vs. Trace
Ultimate Outcome: Morgan is Pierless, thus leaving no Trace of Atkins
Finally! Bye-bye, Stevie B. I’d say I’d miss you, but that would be a lie. Besides, the preview showed that you’ll be on next week. *sigh* Not even one week reprieve from “The Flea’s” righteous yammering. What’s a loyal viewer to do?
I like Trace but how could Trump and Ivanka say that Stevie B didn’t raise any money when he won twice as project manager. I think Trace should have went home because he’s never won a task as project manager.
I am tired of people bashing Steven about his belief in Jesus!!! He’s not crazy, he doesn’t need a “comeback”.He never left, he changed his direction to a more positive, less destructive path.He has a mission that a lot of you just don’t get, but I pray that one day you will.
You’ve got to be kidding me. Carol? It has to be Piers v. Trace. Carol has done nothing and Lennox has just been lucky enough to be on the right team. It will come down to a battle of good vs. evil.
If there is to be any justice on this show, the final two should be Piers and Carol, not Piers and Trace. However, having Donald Trump calling the shots means that there’s a very good chance justice won’t be served.
Piers has one of the spots virtually sown up. He was the MVP of his teams. Trump would have to be an utter dunce to not give Piers a spot. As for the second spot, Carol deserves it more than Trace. Though trace has had moments of brilliance in pitching ideas, he sports an 0-2 record as PM. Whereas Carol on the other hand has a 2-0 record, was the only female contestant to win as PM, and beat Piers head to head in a challenge (Crocs shoes). She was a calming influence who stayed above the drama and who could handle Omarosa (unlike Piers). Carol deserves the second spot!
Ultimately in the end I think Piers will prove too tough and win the show. He might be stuck up and insufferable, but he is doing it for a very good cause, so I give him a pass for his attitude.
I’m sick of that ugly englishman and his dumb accent. Vive La France!!!!
I soo want the final two to be Piers and Trace. Lennox hasn’t really shown any real talent and while Carol is good, it’ll be a show down between good and evil; hence Piers and Trace. I hope Trace woops Piers!!
Since the final task will be a charity concert, I’m thinking it will definitely be Trace vs Piers. They are the only two that can pull a task like this off. I wonder if we will get to see Trace on the stage?