ABC’s just-announced High School Musical reality competition could be the most cynically exploitative bestest-ever reality show since Kid Nation — as long as they give the youngsters a couple of valuable pointers.
Tip No. 1: Don’t let your boyfriend take nude photos of you and put them on the Internet.
Tip No. 2: Make sure the doll version of you has your new nose.
Any other advice for the contestants?
Make sure the story line with you working out with present college players is not an NCAA violation; make sure that the creepy choreographer/writer/producer/svengali isn’t a past guest on “To Catch A Predator”; make sure that when you do sell your soul and all likenesses of yourself to Disney that at some point it takes more than a public substance abuse problem to free you from said contract. (And if they’re going to have a doll-themed playset, make sure the characters associated with said set are available… Rico’s Surf Shack without Jackson or Rico dolls?!)
For the guys – make sure you don’t wear more foundation or have prettier bangs than your female counterparts.
Make sure you don’t get arrested for DUI while on probation with an invalid license ? (I’m pretty sure SOMEONE did that…)
Pay your taxes
spirit fingers are always welcomed.
Be prepared to never be taken seriously in your life after this, EVER!
Come to terms with the fact that you’ll be appearing on Dancing with the Stars, season 43.
Realize that the success of High School Musical was a colossal fluke and that your a potential Johnny-come-lately to a fleeting phenomenon in the pop culture universe.
Don’t become a star before you turn 20. With the exception of Amanda Bynes, most famous teen or tween stars end up as drug addled b listers and reality tv show stars.
Guys-make sure your female co-star will beard for you. And I agree with Snarf, the hysteria will go away soon. Save your money!
To Valerie:
That sounds a lot like Paris Hilton’s tale, prior to her 45 day jail sentence. It probably slipped your mind, though I don’t blame you.
Everybody loves a good jazz square. And Gabriella wannabes, try not to be way less likable than your male counterpart.
Gabriella wannabes: Please have some actually singing and acting talent.
Orange lead guy wannabe(the name is lost right now): Be less orange,and creepy, and less plastic. Which reminds me that if you want to play Ashley Tisdale’s role: get the rhinoplasty BEFORE you are casted to play a familiar character.
Is it wrong that I kinda still like Vanessa Hudgens?
yes, yes. she’s skeezy!