This one comes straight from some fresh circle of corporate-synergy hell: Universal Pictures and Hasbro are teaming up for at least four big-budget feature films about board games. ("At least"!) The first mega-ad is either going to be a Michael Bay-produced popcorn flick about Ouija boards, or a Monopoly movie potentially directed by Ridley Scott. I get that American Gangster’s Oscars snub probably has Scott in a pretty bad headspace right now, but c’mon!
Oh, and the outrages don’t end there. These people also have the nerve to trash on a bona fide cult classic, and quite likely the only good movie which will ever be adapted from a board game: "Universal and Hasbro said they were unconcerned that a 1985 Cluefilm (starring Tim Curry, pictured) disappointed at the box office. ‘Because Clue was once donebadly, the right way of doing Clue would be fantastic,’ [Universal chairman Marc] Shmugersaid." Badly? Is Shmuger out of his board-game-playin’ mind?
Besides, the other Hasbro products included in the Universal deal — Candy Land, Battleship, Magic: theGathering, and Stretch Armstrong, which is totally not a board game but whatever — aren’t even very good choices for this abysmal genre. A fleet of war boats getting sunk one by one by incredibly slow trial and error? Snooze. A bunch of sugar-crazed kids trekking back and forth between a computer-generated Gramma Nutt, Mr. Mint, and Plumpy? Pass.
If Hollywood is really dead set on making blockbusters out of board games, the least they could do is explore some other options. Perhaps a war epic based on Risk or Stratego, or a fast-paced chase caper from Sorry!? (Hidden advantage: The name of the movie doubles as an apology for making it.) Then again, I’m obviously biased on this subject. Anyone who doesn’t reflexively hate the idea of a board-game movie want to pitch some better examples of the form? Universal Pictures is listening!
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Sometimes you climb! Sometimes you fall! Bruce Willis in Shoots and Ladders.
Chutes
What about 13 Dead End Drive. That could be a comedy, but I think I’m the only one who remembers it.
I’m pretty sure they did a horror movie on Ouji Boards called Witchboard back in the 80’s.
Wasn’t there a post on this like a month ago?
Anyway, “Clue” obviously shows that a good movie can be made from a board game idea, but the fact that the people in charge of making these new movies think that “Clue” was badly done makes me think that we’re not going to like these new movies much.
Run-on sentence much?!
I remember 13 Dead End Drive!!! I loved that game. I think that could be a fun one to do.
How about Mouse Trap? I also think an updated Clue would be fun …
yeah this is old news but I think a Candyland game and a Monopoly game are cool ideas. Especially Candyland.
Oh yes also…13 Dead End Drive is the best board game EVER. They even made a sequel to it. Wikipedia that business.
How dare that man Shmuger insult Clue! How dare he!
Why not a game based on Don’t Wake Daddy or Polar Dare? Anyone remember those?
Flames, on the side of my face.
Anyone who thinks that “Clue” was a bad movie also believe that Mrs. Peacock was a man and that slapping someone is the only way to stop them from screaming…
“Clue” is way better than the other movie based on a board game. We all know that “Twister” was terrible.
How about Michael Bay or Jerry Bruckheimer producing an end-of-the-world style Hungry Hungry Hippos movie?
If I was the killer I’d kill you next, [Shmuger]!
Firstly,add me to those who were really astonished at the comments about Clue. Sure, it may not have been a hit at the time, but it is a film with a terribly big cult following, and I honestly don’t know anyone that, having seen the film, doesn’t love it. It’s a brilliant over-the-top comedy with a rapier-sharp script aided by uniformly excellent performances. (Madeline Kahn’s delivery of the “Flames” line, already quoted, remains one of the funniest things I have ever seen.) Just because it flopped doesn’t mean it was “done badly”.
But the reason Clue worked was ultimately that the game is about solving a murder. And murder mysteries work well on screen. So you just need to develop a murder mystery story, include a few elements from the game, and there you are. But I struggle to see where you could get a movie from Monopoly, or Candyland. Maybe Battleships could work – essentially a war film. But most of these properties don’t lend themselves to films in the way Clue did
Oh man… wouldn’t Candyland make a great horror movie? Really Tim Burton-esque stuff.
They can’t even make a board game movie that’s good when the board game is invented for the movie (Jumanji and Zathura – which I think were the same movie except one was in the jungle and one was in outer space). So why don’t they just let Clue stand as the classic that it is, and not try to cheapen it by making crappy movies just so that they can have product tie in. And besides, most games that have stories built into them have already been made into movies, just not with the board game’s name on it. Monopoly – Wall Street, Glengarry Glen Ross, etc, Risk – any movie about Napoleon, Axis and Allies – any movie about WWII. So then I think we would be down to the movie version of Hungry Hungry Hippos or possibly Parcheesi.
Stoked to see so much love for Clue. Thought I was the only one who thinks that movie is a riot.
“I…am…your singing telegram *BLAM*”
Is there REALLY anything more to say than, “You sunk my Battleship..”?
Just imagine, eighty seven minutes full of A6s and B9s. It sounds like a gem of a film.
Candy Land, Battleship, Magic: the Gathering, and Stretch Armstrong – wow. they all seem like horrible ideas. i can completely see them being made though. just not well, at all. they’re unnecessary.
Clue = classic. That movie is hilarious. I can’t believe that dude put it down. Clue worked because: a) it was funny as hell. b) the game had a story. these other ones don’t actually have stories. they have these broad ideas. c) well if you guys really want more ill keep going. let me know.
When you think about it, you can come up with movie ideas from these board games. but really…they’re not very good. And a ouija board movie seems like the worst one. definitely a lifetime channel movie that comes out around halloween.
Personally, I’m partial to “Fireball Island” if they decide to go through with this type of stuff.
Oh man, I had forgotten how much I love “Clue.” Madeline Kahn is the funniest thing in the world in that movie. And Tim Curry’s run through the house at the end is classic physical comedy. I like the psychedelic Candyland idea. As for the general concept of making movies from board games–why? Just why? Were adolescents getting bored of movies made from (or movies made to look like) videogames already? Unless someone comes to you with an unbelievably fantastic script that no one would have ever thought would actually work, don’t try to force a bad idea into an even worse script and a horrifically bad movie. There’s enough dreck out there already.
Shmuger is an imbecile. 1985’s Clue is wonderful, wacky and timeless.
“Husbands should be like Kleenex – soft, strong and disposable.”
They’ll pump out a bunch of these. and then we’ll get into other children’s toys.
“Linkin’ Logs: How the West Was Won”
followed by “Linkin’ Logs 2: The Rise of the Steel Girders.
“Bop-it”
followed by “Bop-it 2: the Streets”
and to round out the trilogy “Bop- it 3: Top-it.”
“Rubik’s Cube.” tagline: “UNITE THE COLORS”
then “Revenge of the Cube”
and for the older generation…
“Wooden Blocks: The Movie”
Why hasn’t anyone suggested CROSSFIRE! That game has one of the best theme songs ever. Totally gets my voice.
Hungry,Hungry Hippos! From the people that brought you March of the Penguins.Brilliant!
“Communism is just a red herring.”
I love Clue! Any remake would just be blastphemy!
Oh they better not talk smack about “Clue”. I love that movie! Madeline Khan with the whole “Flames, flames coming out the side of my face…” I have to rent that now!
1) I do not want to see Monopoly or Candyland turned into movies
2)I seriously love 1985’s Clue. Wacky fun with so many great lines.
I liked Clue because it had Tim Curry and he’d be entertaining to watch even if they put him in a test pattern.
The slate of boardgame movies seems a little ill conceived. Most of the movies based on video games have been awful, and that genre is less limited than a board game. The exception to this might be the Mortal Kombat movies, but only because of decent fight scenes. That said, a Connect 4 movie seems like a better idea than Battleship.
As for games worthy of a movie, I’d argue something based on “Risk” might be doable if they did it as a WWIII movie of sorts.
Stretch Armstrong could potentially be good if they made it a hella-tongue in cheek superhero movie. Then again, the only time it was done well was with the Incredibles.
What about card games? “Uno: It’s only the first” So much sequel potential.
But seriously, please Sir Ridley do not make Monopoly. I’ve played that game since I was knee-high to a grasshopper and you are not going to ruin it for me forever.
Risk, though, does seem like something that might be worked into film.
Love the reference to Twister below
I’m so glad other people love Clue as much as I do. Seriously, that is likely the only good board game movie possible.
And Clue is funny as a movie in spite of the whole board game thing. Sort of like the first Pirates movie was good in spite of being based on a ride (unlike, say, The Haunted House…).