Variety reports that CBS is "moving its Survivor brand into the world of health and fitness" by producing Survivor Supercharged Sunflower Seeds (in stores this March, with 100 percent of the daily recommended dose of vitamins B and C) and the Survivor Fitness Program, which launches this spring in Chicago and apparently incorporates show-like physical challenges. Huh? As EW’s Kristen Baldwin asks, "How is Survivor related to fitness? Those people starve and come out emaciated!" (I’m sure CBS prefers to think of that as pushing oneself to one’s limit.)
According to the article, more Survivor-branded merch is expected soon, like camping gear, which actually makes some sense. But a proposed Survivor corporate team-building program? Um, isn’t the whole point of the show that you outwit, outlast, and outplay the people you’re stuck with? (If you forget how it’s done, watch host Jeff Probst, pictured, vote EW’s own Dalton Ross off the island here.)
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I’m all for the Survivor brand diet.
Food is evil! Just say No!
How about a “Survivor” brand Immunity Idol that will keep you from getting whacked during the next round of layoffs.
Survivor-brand underwear that seems to manage to stay on no matter what challenges are presented
Survivor brand BLUR to hide those unsightly body parts
and of course, Survivor brand peanut butter, good enough to strip for.
good lord, they’ve gone too far.
It seems very odd that they’re just introducing this branding now, when Survivor’s audience is slowly slipping and the producers seem less enthused about the show continuing. Haven’t they only signed on for two more seasons? I mean, I’d gladly participate in the exercise classes, but it seems pretty late in the game.
I can’t wait for the Survivor Baby Seal Club. Good excercise plus you get to beat an innocent mammal senseless.