'Cashmere Mafia' recap: It's not brain surgery

Cashmeremafiawatch_lLast night, Caitlin (Bonnie Somerville, pictured), who has corrected her makeup hot mess from last week, spoke the truest words I’ve yet to hear on this show: "I am the worst lesbian ever." Hallelujah! You got that right, sister! Honest to goodness sparks flew between her and a fella named Sam who she barged in on in a unisex restaurant bathroom while she was at a lesbian bridal shower. Not sure where her girlfriend was while she was at the bar slipping him her card, but I’m happy to let that, and her plotline with Hot Chocolate, go for the sake of something that promises to be much more steamy.

I also felt some heat between Juliet (Miranda Otto) and her "pompous little bastard" of a business partner, which is a good thing as she finally decided to send her philandering hubby Davis packing after discovering his hedge fund is headed for the crapper and he’s squiring his ex(?)-lover Cilla around for a bailout. Her hasta-la-vista-baby speech would have been much more powerful without TV’s most annoyingly quirky soundtrack as accompaniment, but original programming beggars can’t be choosers, so until the writers and producers work it out, I’m willing to make the best of it.

Which means I have to overlook the mostly hideous outfits worn bymagazine publishing wunderkind Mia (Lucy Liu), who went from a metallickimono-esque monstrosity to lady bullfighter. She ran into herex-fiancĂ©, Jack (McCutie Tom Everett Scott), and his cable-news-babegirlfriend. To make him jealous at a brunch, she rang up the brainsurgeon her mom set her up with (a brain surgeon? How novel!) and foundout he doesn’t really go for Asian women. Here’s one of the most Sex and the Citysubplots this show’s had, and I think they could have gotten a lot moremileage out of it. Cut to the women at one of their many gatheringsdiscussing all the oddball likes/dislikes/prejudices of theex-boyfriends, but no, we got a boring brunch scene. But I really lovedtheir first date, where Mia goes in for a good-bye peck (or hug) andshe gets a handshake. Who among us has never faced that awkwardsituation?! Throw in those Continental types who do the double-kissthing, and I’m left paralyzed with confusion.

In the spirit of the show’s dizzying, whip-around storylines, I’llwrap it up with Zoe (Frances O’Connor), who continues to be pestered byher ambitious Gen Y-Don’t-I-Have-A-Corner-Office-Yet? underling. Zoe’smain role last night was spying for Juliet, planning her eight-year-oldson’s laser tag birthday party, and trying to maintain her command atwork. Laser tag in the day of Super Sweet Sixteens? I’d think a financestar like Zoe might have kicked it up a notch, considering how muchmoney she was willing to throw at her fine-wine-tippling nanny from acouple weeks back.

Any choice moments I’ve left out, my Cashmere crew? Who had the night’s worst outfit? And who else is guiltily looking forward to the Manny introduction next week?

Comments (41 total) Add your comment
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  • margie

    I liked Juliette’s speech as well, but the woman should never wear her hair up like that again … all of those gorgeous red locks, held captive spray? It’s not right!
    I was also concerned about the clip from next week where it shows Zoey advising Juliette to cut Davis off from their joint accounts. It seemed very melodramatic and out of character to me … Juliette is more likely to freeze his access to their accounts BEFORE she sends him to the hotel. But like you said, original programming beggars cannot be choosers.

  • jes

    Why did they even bother bringing up a possible lesbian storyline if it’s that easily thrown away? I, for one, am very disappointed!!

  • monica

    i was rooting for mia all the way, but that asian guy seemed kind of obnoxious. i like caitlin’s new guy better, even if it does kick her lesbian plot line aside. i just feel like they didn’t know where to go with it, so they bailed on it. the french guy for juliet is a better bet than that one-night-stand guy from last week–yuck. and i can’t wait till we meet zoe’s work husband. finally, something the stirs up her love life.

  • Cara

    After reading this so glad I bailed and didn’t give this awful show a 3rd go-around. Boring.

  • Sweet

    I love that you asked about the outfits because really, I only watch for the clothes and makeup. I’m going to have to give the award to Caitlin this week. She brought it.

  • colorless

    Obviously Erin is not into Asian men because she makes a point of talking about “McCutie” Tom Everett Scott but failed to mention how GORGEOUS the brain surgeon is!! I’m an African American woman and I could see how his attractiveness transcended color barriers. He’s fine across the board!!!
    Hot is Hot… don’t just point out what is acceptable in mainstream!

  • Annie

    I love this show! It is shallow and funny and NEW. Granted, none of these are my usual criteria, but I take what I can get on TV these days. That being said, I’ve passed quite a few hours in worse ways. This is fun!

  • DalGal

    OK, I hated the pilot but the show is starting to grow on me. I think I will chalk this up to my “Guilty Pleasure” TV since there is not much else on. And I haven’t had a guilty pleasure since Melrose Place, so I think I am due one!

  • Rosie

    Thank goodness for Caitlin’s makeup and her man. Alicia was boring. And… did anyone notice the magazine-spread-as-a-favor-before-I-leave-you was an EXACT reversal of Trey and Charlotte’s goodbye on SATC? I mean, without the lies/cheating, of course. And Kristen Davis is 20 times more interesting than Miranda Otto and her weird acting. I really do like Frances McDormand, and I like Zoe all the more BECAUSE of lazer tag. But these workplace situations are still SO BORING, ladies. No one cares. Get out of the office and have more juicy SATC convos, if you’re going to rip off the show that blatantly anyway! Desperate Housewives does the kid/family stuff better, so just copy the sexy stuff from SATC and it could possibly work… if Miranda Otto gets run over or something. I feel like she’s the poor woman’s Brie AND Miranda, and that’s just sad. Both of Lucy Liu’s men are hot!

  • Nic

    I agree with what jes said. Why did they bother? Also, why were they calling her a lesbian? She obviously swings both ways so that would make her bisexual not lesbian.

  • mobetter

    “Any choice moments I’ve left out, my Cashmere crew?”
    Yeah, you left out the fact that the brain surgeon…Jason…is totally hot…and he is just about the best 3-dimensional male character on the show so far! He was honest with Mia as to why he didn’t call her back and called her on her own prejudice as well. And that is just for starters.
    And your comments regarding Caitlin and Alicia and the new guy at the bar as so close to bordering on bigotry…it is hard to tell if you just think that Caitlin and Alicia as a couple are not meant for each other or would Caitlin only have any steaminess with a guy?
    Considering the fact that Caitlin and Alicia have gotten less and less screen time these last two eppies…there really has been little development of these characters and/or their relationship. That is the pink elephant in the room that should be mentioned. How do you expect to see a relationship and chemistry between those two when we don’t get to see the relationship?

  • FLGrl

    This seems to be the female version of “Big Shots.” Except it has only half of the appeal or humor…

  • Whateva!

    Sorry mobetter, that hot chocolate girl was more like lukewarm chocolate. This is tv! i would want to see a really hot lesbian to sweep her off her feet(And hot does not necessarily mean lipstick.) lukewarm Chocolate chick has to go. Caitlin needs a seducer! The bar guy and caitlin just had way more chemistry than the Alicia relationship. He’s hot.

  • Delon

    It finally got intereting for me with the introduction of Jason’s character. I hope he sticks around. Why do they insist on dressing Lucy Liu in those one-busier-than-the-other outfits? None of them was flattering, except for maybe the faux-fur coat in the last scene. They should dress her in easy, breezy clothes with clean lines.

  • rachel

    I coulodn’t agree with you more. In case people are unaware these are ACTOERS reciting dialogue that was written for them. The writers deleted most of Lourdes Benedicto’s line with Caitlin, and YES is IS HOT CHOCOLATE!
    So we never saw any chemistry develop after the first two episodes.
    I personally enjoyed seeing a woman of color playing a lesbian snd an executive to boot. It’s New York NOT Iowa!

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