As the promos promised, “the boys are back.” And to complete the Thin Lizzy reference, “them cats are crazy.” Which is a good thing: Yesterday’s midseason opener—despite its near-complete lack of action, save Bellick’s Gladiator-style smack down—had the series 1 “WTF, where’s this show going, that dude’s nuts” vibe that makes Prison Break great.
When we left Linc, Mike, Sucre and Co. in November, their escape plan had gone belly up and the General was leading Michael out of Sona. Gretchen (formerly Susan B.) was in deep doo-doo with the Colonel and soaking up scotch over the failed “bang and burn” mission to grab Whistler using a helicopter and, as y’all pointed out, a trapeze. Alex was completely strung out on his way back to prison in the reluctant custody of former girl Friday, Lang. Lechero had almost completely lost control of the inmates. T-Bag was looking to get Sammy. Bellick was still dressed like a tailgater. And Linc, Sucre, Sofia and L.J. were just lucky to be, miraculously, alive.
So what went down last night?
1. Michael, quite literally, sweated out solitary. In Sona,solitary doesn’t just mean spending time alone. It means hours alone,in the “redneck sun,” in a 125-degree cellophane-wrapped box. It canmake a man delirious. It can make him crazy. It can make him spillthe beans about his escape plan and his accomplices to the prisonwarden and put his family in danger. But it will not, apparently, makehim hot enough to take off his sweatshirt—which Wenty once againinexplicably wore during the entire bloody sequence. Tattoo up, sweetcheeks: Unless keeping your top on fits into the plot somehow andMike’s tats also hide a map of Sona—which I highly doubt—this isgetting ridiculous.
2. Whistler (aka Gary Miller) sold out the General. Don’tyou think he gave up Gretchen’s name way too easily, leading her to becaptured and allowing her to murder the one saintly dude willing tohelp the brothers? Didn’t it all just seem too planned? Like Michaelsaid, Whistler knew what he was doing: He was leading “the fox intothe henhouse." Moreover, was it just me or did he look a little tooworried when Susan was being tortured? Is there something going on here? Some romantic thing between them I didn’t pick up on? Brotherand sister maybe? And if someone could explain to me how exactlyPanamanian water torture—putting plastic over a girl’s face and pouringwater on it—works that would be great. Does it make you feel likeyou’re drowning or something? Anyway…
3. Gretchen got conned by Sucre and Linc. No offense, but Sucreand Linc aren’t the brightest bulbs in the box. That they trickedSusan so easily—the most cunning lady to hit the show since the vice president—makes me a little suspect. Nevertheless, good on them if itworks out—let’s just hope the promise of $50,000 doesn’t actually startto turn Sucre against the boys. Or that Susan’s revenge isn’t toonasty.
4. Alex manned up. I’m not so sure his addiction won’t bethe death of him, but who didn’t cheer for Alex when he refused T-Bag’soffer of free drugs in return for breaking Sammy’s neck. Though I’mstill a little suspicious of Lang and the good-luck coin she gave Alexbefore sending him back into Sona. Sure, it was sweet, and her hugseemed sincere, but you know, it is Prison Break after all…
5. Bellick played dirty. How Michael-like of him to dip hisknuckle bandage in acetone—aka nail polish remover—before fightingSammy’s goon, thus basically rendering the guy helpless. Now Bellick’sthe prison bad boy. Though T-Bag knows his trick, and you can be surehe’ll use the info against him in the future. Either that, or the duowill pair up against Sammy!
6. Sammy got a gun. Someone’s gonna bite the bullet nextweek, and I’m betting on Sammy. That’s not to say he won’t go afterLechero or T-Bag with his new shiny silver shooter (a present from hissupplier), I just have a feeling it’s time for things to end badly forhim. He never particularly interested me anyway.
7. “Molly” never showed up. Remember all that talk about the girl-centric PBspin-off? According to Internet rumor, its main character, a widownamed Molly, was supposed to show up tonight looking for Michael and outto get the Company. But she was nowhere to be found.
8. Michael told Susan and Whistler the what’s what: He knowsshe had something to do with killing Sara (even if she didn’t admit toit), and once he gets out he’s gonna get his revenge. More importantly,for now, he’s onto her and Whistler: As he said to the latter, “Howdoes a simple fisherman seem to know so much about the company…oncewe’re out I consider you collateral. Nothing more.”
So, PopWatchers, what did you think of the episode? Do you think the new season holds promise? Let us know!