Merv Griffin gets the (eternally) last laugh

Merv_headstone_lI am assured by reputable sources (I know, against better judgment, Michael Slezak has been upgraded from "waffly" to "reputable") this is actually what’s on the late TV impressario Merv Griffin’s headstone. "I will not be right back after this message."

Which is only marginally better than what was on Buffy Summers’ grave marker: "She saved the world. A lot."

Both of which pale in comparison to what I want on my tombstone: "He crushed his enemies, saw them driven before him, and heard the lamentations of their women. Also, beloved husband and father."

Comments (19 total) Add your comment
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  • Elizabeth

    I love it – I barely remember the show, but I miss the random interviews and sightings we got.

  • sj

    How about “When you’re not looking at this tombstone, it says something else.”
    Too unoriginal?

  • Tony

    Here lies David St. Hubbins, and why not?

  • Sven

    That episode (Season 5 Finale) of Buffy will go as the best ever (and please don’t say the musical was better).

  • jr

    marc, i LOVE your epitaph.

  • step

    Nothing beat Royal Tenenbaums: ‘Died Tragically Rescuing His Family From The Remains Of A Destroyed Sinking Battleship’

  • JC

    Hmm…has someone been listening to SModcast? :)

  • JC

    Hmm…has someone been listening to SModcast? :)

  • B Ro

    This reminds me of another star, perhaps it’s Jack Lemon who joked that their tombstone would read “Jack Lemon. In.”

  • Cece

    My all time favorite is Dennis Hoffman’s from a 60 Minute’s interview:
    Either ‘I knew this would happen’ or ‘I’d like to thank my mother and father because without them I couldn’t have come this far.'”

  • Cece

    You are both right and wrong, Sven. The musical was not the best, but “The Body” lives on as the best Buffy has ever done.

  • vw

    to this day i think the best i ever saw is ‘she hath done all she could’

  • daisyj

    “Ow! Get off my head!”

  • Jakeem

    It’s too bad that W.C. Fields’ tombstone does not say, “On the whole, I’d rather be in Philadelphia”!

  • damon`

    I was just at that cemetery a couple weeks ago, and took pictures of that grave and some others– Jack Lemmon and Billy Wilder’s epitaphs are pretty funny, too.
    Here’s a link:

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