Oh boy. He just couldn’t help himself. After a lackluster sixth season of The Apprentice, Donald Trump decided to pulverize the proverbial dead horse by launching yet a "star"-studded edition of television’s most tired reality show. And though last night’s premiere of The Celebrity Apprentice wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d anticipated, how did a show best known for its hilariously combative nature manage to utilize its cast of supersized personalities to such milquetoast effect?
On a more positive note, though, The Apprentice—and let’s face it, the entire Trump empire—is famous for its classlessness, and the premiere sure did manage to deliver on that front. Between Trump’s opening salvo denying our celebrities human qualities (they’re simply commodities now), to his inquiries into Tito Ortiz’s personal life, the trashiness quotient was high. And considering the show’s primary competition in this strike-addled world is VH1’s Top Model marathon, I fear I might already be just a little hooked.
Of course, the casting of these so-called “successful" celebrities (uh—Stephen Baldwin?) is not the only change on this season of The Apprentice. This year, contestants are not vying for a job, but are rather playing for their respective charities. And in a world where one of the most popular television prizes continues to be a giant disco-ball trophy, it’s refreshing to see celebrities compete not just for career revival (hey, this is reality TV, after all), but also a good cause.
So who do we have here? Who was desperate brave enough to court verbal mockery and humiliation by one of the most undignified creatures television has ever seen?
There are two “celebrities” I had never heard of until this episode:buxom Playboy Playmate Tiffany Fallon and expressionless producer Nely Galán; four that I had to Google before rememberingexactly what they did for a living: softball Olympian Jennie Finch,supermodel Carol Alt, and fighters Lennox Lewis and Tito Ortiz; tworeality show alums: The Apprentice Season 1’s Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth and America’s Got Talent’s Piers Morgan; and six bonafide celebrities: Taxi actress Marilu Henner, country singer Trace Adkins, rocker Gene Simmons, The Sopranos star Vincent Pastore, gymnast Nadia Comaneci and Stephen "Hey, atleast I’m doing better than Daniel" Baldwin. Can’t say I was too overwhelmed with the fluid definition of “celebrity,” but it beats a weekly dose of Flava Flav or Johnny Fairplay. And it isdefinitely worth pointing out that over the course of the hour, all thecelebrities surprisingly came off as mildly to moderately intelligent.
Moving on, let’s start with the challenge, shall we? After dividingthe cast into two teams—men vs. women—and instructing each group tocome up with a name (the girls chose Empresario, the boys opted forHydra), Trump told his celebrities that their first task would entailselling hot dogs on the streets of New York. Though Nely proved herspirit by offering her teammates a bizarre version of a pirate hat,Empresario decided to anoint the overly enthusiastic Omarosa as theirproject manager. Of course, Omarosa wouldn’t be Omarosa without thatcondescending attitude that Tiffany would later reference inthe boardroom, and the two sparred on whether to use a sales tacticpromoting their business skills or their celebrity (Tiffany, smartly,favored the latter). The Apprentice alum, however, was unwilling to back down, and Empresario developed a plan that relied mainly on cute shirts and hats. And when it came toexecution, only the shrewd Marilu managed to understand that the key to victory was bringing in the high rollers through her celebritystatus; her flurry of phone calls earned the team$10,000, and herself the position of early front runner in the competition.
On the boys’ end, Hydra named Stephen their team leader, and darnedif the guy has a bit of Jack Donaghy in him, because he managed to heada team that came up with one heck of a sales plan. Within the first fewminutes of brainstorming, Hydra tried to parlay their fame into money. And thank god the men had their Blackberrys, because Tito’ssad, junior-high posterboard certainly didn’t do Hydra any favors. Good thing his trusty girlfriendJenna Jameson showed up to audition for the next season of Rock of Love help him out with the publicity (but couldn’t she spare just a little more that $200 for a charity hot dog?).
In the boardroom, we learned the men easily trumped the women’s$17,038 with a whopping $52,286, and the total amount was awarded toStephen’s breast cancer charity. As for the end result, somehow Omarosamanaged to get off the hook for not only her poor leadership decisions,but also for managing to debase Tiffany by basically claiming she onlyhad two things to offer in the competition (I’ll let you figure out exactly what those two things are). And though some may feel that Tiffanywould’ve stayed longer had she argued her point just a bit better, Ichoose to think that Trump was too hypnotized by Omarosa’s Jetsons-inspired, Mother Ginger dress to let her go.
What do you think? Will The Celebrity Apprenticemake it onto your TiVo? Do you hope that future episodes focus more onthe cast’s business skills, and less on their celebrity status? Will Piers andOmarosa be the only ones who keep the show entertaining? And are you as excitedas I am about the future appearances of Bob Saget and Alec Baldwin, asteased in the opening minutes of the premiere?
Comments (1-30) of 55 Add your comment
The pathetic part is that Omarosa clearly said “We will not use our celebrity and we will not use sex appeal.” And THAT is what lost it for them. If Heff had bought a $10,000 hot dog, they would still have been creamed.
Omarosa should’ve been fired, but Trump knows a good villian was necessary, which makes the whole show a sham. Shame on them.
Funny thing is, while Marilu came out looking golden, if they had won, Omarosa would have blasted her for not sticking to the game plan. Because Marilu was thinking smart and bucked the rules and went for celebrity. Omarosa, bless her heart, should have been a lawyer. I’d want her on my side. She can twist things beautifully. She’s just a lousy human being and a liar.
I agree that Omarosa should have been the first to go for insisting that the team not use their celebrity status. It is obvious that the producers of the show are keeping her around for the tension that her horrible personality brings to the series.
What you guys are not going to torture Whitney and make her do another year of Apprentice TV Watch? Her clear disgust was what I always enjoyed the most.
This will definately be on my TiVo…I’m hooked now. Not that the show is great, but compared to watching American Gladiators, it’s an ok choice. I liked Tiffany & I wouldn’t have called Hef right away either. Omarosa should have been fired, but she’s needed for the drama. I’m really liking Gene Simmons so far…I think he’s a hoot! And to the author of the review…you really didn’t know who Lennox Lewis is?
I agree with Heather and Debbie. I turned it off after it was obvious Omarosa was a goner – or that playboy bunny girl — but like someone mentioned, they’re keeping her around because she’s controversial. I may watch it again, but how many times can the celebrities compete for dollars by calling on their celeb friends with deep pockets?
It’s going to get boring….to watch millionaires give $5000 in cash for a hotdog – obscene! Not entertaining at all.
I am hooked on the show–go Marilu! I can’t believe Carol or Tiffany didn’t bring up the fact that Omarosa completely objected to using their star status. She probably objected because she isn’t a star and has no contacts and didn’t want to look worse than she already does (if she even has a clue how awful she is.) Did anyone else notice that when Jenna Jamison showed up they basically only showed her eating a hot dog?
I just watched it this morning, and reading the recap, one question “Nadia Comenici was there?” Did she even get any airtime? I didn’t notice her at all.
What do we want? Celebrity Apprentice TV Watch! Who do we want to write it? Whitney!
What? No mention of Gene Simmons single handedly winning that challenge with his little black book? There’s your early front runner.
Kate, you did a fine job of a recap, but I’m with Laurie: can Whitney come back and do the recaps? I gave up on the Apprentice about four seasons ago, but tuned in last night, and would love to have Whit’s (likely to be) snarky review to complete the mess that is this show.
I missed it, last night, but I guess I’m gonna have to go back to that darn show ! I use to just read Whitney’s comments and that was enough for me ! With nothing else on TV, I guess I’ll watch it…
This show got very old, very long ago.
–read my blog at http://fashionpoirot.blogspot.com
Omarosa was criticized on the last Apprentice for just what Trump criticized her for last time — using sex to sell and celebrityship. HUH? He criticized the women on that show for T&A and then he encourages this team to use T&A to sell. The man is insane! And why on earth would she want to be on THAT show again and be ridiculed. She must be a masochist.
Omarosa is this year’s Evil Dick, I love her!
I’m bumming. Lost our office pool with Tiffany’s ouster. (We picked out of a hat) Figured Trump would have kept her a few weeks – he likes da ladies. Was Nadia even there? didn’t hear boo from her. Looking forward to the Omaroaster vs Marilu – Carol Alt showdown.
Anyone else notice that all 4 Baldwin brothers can feasibly be on tv at the same time?
(Alec in 30 Rock, Daniel in Celebrity Rehab, Billy in Dirty Sexy Money and Stephen in the Apprentice)
Nip and Tuck show? Biff and Buff. Everyone was nipped here, tucked there, stuffed there, depleted here and propped up to speak. They looked like muppets or puppets. Even Donald kids didnt’ look real. Why do they look like something out of the 20’s and they are going to break out in a flap dance. Real biffed and buffed people and they speak!
This was for charity allright! But for whom?
I haven’t watched any of the previous season, but with the writer’s strike, I’m giving any new TV a chance… even if it means putting up with The Don (OY). Omarossa is a quick talker but quick doesn’t equal smart. I’m hoping she won’t be around long even if she does make for a good villian. I truly believe that if Tiffany had calmly explained that she suggested using her celebrity from the beginning and Omarossa said NO that Trump may have badgered “O” a bit more and soon tired of her snippy, backstabbing double-talk.
There are harmless guilty pleasures, and then there are shows you watch that make you want to shower to scrub the experience off. This falls in the latter. I watched the first show to see how bad the train wreck was, and it exceeded my expectations. As far as some of the comments about Omarosa (one of the few highlights was the sparring w/ Piers on her name and celebrity status): duh; the earlier guidance to not use T&A to sell was because the Apprentice was intended to focus on business skills. This is Celebrity Apprentice: almost by definition the point is to exploit celebrity status to gain. Obvious distinction she should have been slammed on in the boardroom, particulary since that was the overriding reason the women lost. But, as others stated, the villain has to stick around. Only I won’t for this debacle.
Many thanks to Kate for writing a great recap, but I am in agreement with the group here. Bring back Whitney! I always looked forward to her articles after every Apprentice show. It appears that this season Miss Whitney will have LOTS to “rip” on!! Her ducklings need her back for this Apprentice season!!
Gotta love Gene Simmons in this one……I pretty much gave up on the Apprentice last year, but when I heard Gene was gonna be on, I had to tune in.
Where was Nadia? I dont remember her either.
Cant wait for another Omarosa/Piers smackdown. Or a Omarosa/Carol smackdown…..
I just want Omarosa smacked down, but that wont happen till later….they’ll want to keep her around for the controversy, because a lot of those people are just too laid back.
Gotta see the dust up next week between the Donald and Gene over the Trump daughter (is it Ivanka, or is that the exwife’s name?)
Tiffany was a lamb led to slaughter. The boardroom sparring is what decides the loser, not whether you did this or that. Tiffany just didn’t have the ruthless experience to take on Omarossa in the boardroom. And Carol Alt certainly wasn’t going to let Oma use her trashy tactics to take her down.
Omarossa’s dress Jetsons-inspired? I thought it was a potato sack with BIG buttons! Omarossa has absolutely nothing going for her unless trash and crudeness have become character qualities. She dodged a major bullet last night, guaranteeing her some longevity for this season. If she could dodge it as a PM, may god help the future PMs hoping to take her on in the boardroom. I relish the day she gets hers, hopefully sooner than later. She’s overused her moment in the sun.
I liked the first two seasons. Seemed fair and the tasks were doable. Since then, including the Martha Stewart Apprentice, the show has been a debacle and about ego. Don’t get me started on the version where the losing task-monkeys had to sleep in tents.
Honestly, I would watch the show if it were about team-building, productivity, integrity, personal effort and personal growth… but it is not. It is the anthesis of those things.
The deal-breaker this season – Omarosa – I WILL NOT WATCH A SINGLE MINUTE of this seasons’ Apprentice, because she is on it.
Wow what a body nadia Comenici has! Maybe you didn’t recognize her because she’s got a DD chest and a ridiculous body…she used to be a skinny little gymnast and now she looks like she could work at Scores!
Kate Ward works for a major show biz magazine, and she doesn’t know Lennox Lewis, an UNDISPUTED heavyweight champ??? Whitney, please put your half-fingered gloves back on and do this pop watch for us.
Kate Ward works for a major show biz magazine, and she doesn’t know Lennox Lewis, an UNDISPUTED heavyweight champ??? Whitney, please put your half-fingered gloves back on and do this pop watch for us.
Why isn’t this review in TV Watch where it should be?
Go Gene Simmons and Marilu Henner! When I heard that Gene was on, I immediately knew he would be a force to be reckoned with. Excellent first show!!! Who cares how cheesy it is? It’s great entertainment and the money is going to charity. I’m hooked!
Wow. I can’t believe Trump doesn’t want any guys to watch the show. He’s going to lose a lot of male viewers by kicking off the playmate so early… stupid
I agree with Adam.
Oh Omarosa…the woman can twist absolutely anything.