So I’m reading this piece on HollywoodReporter.com about how Disney Channel edged out USA for the title of 2007’s top-ranked cable network by roughly 15,000 High School Musical fans viewers. I get to the lists of the Top 10 cable nets in total viewers (in order: Disney, USA, TNT, ESPN, TBS, Lifetime, Fox News Channel, A&E, Cartoon Network, and Nick at Nite) and in the 18-49 demo during prime time (USA, TBS, TNT, ESPN, FX, Discovery, Spike TV, A&E, Comedy Central, and MTV). Because I like to torture myself, I suddenly think: What if I could only have five cable channels. Which ones would I choose? After much "I’ll never see another Rocky marathon on Spike? Another ABC Family original?" whining on IM to Slezak*, I came up with the following:
• Bravo: I need Project Runway.
• USA: New episodes of Psych and Monk start Jan. 11, so that’s good. I also get Law & Order: Criminal Intent and Law & Order: SVU repeats — score.
• TBS: Saturday mornings just wouldn’t be the same without Movie and a Makeover, especially when Ghost (Jan. 5) and Housesitter (Jan. 12) are on this month’s schedule.
• VERSUS: I can get NASCAR and some college football on the broadcast networks, so the only other sport I truly need is the PBR (Professional Bull Riders).
• Discovery: If I hadn’t made that stupid New Year’s Resolution, this would read Comedy Central. I guess I’d finally have to make friends with my neighbors so that I could visit them every night at 11. And when there’s a new episode of Reno 911! (Jan. 16!) and South Park.
Your turn. Name your networks, and be sure to include how long you debated. Me? On-and-off for an hour.
*Slezak’s picks: TVG (Television Games Network, his "horse racing channel’), HGTV, Food Network, HBO, and Bravo. He’ll get BBC World News on PBS and visit someone with TNT for holiday Law & Order marathons.
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SPEED (debated 0 seconds: I need my motorsports), TNT (2 seconds), ESPN (5 seconds), BRAVO (5 seconds), VH1 (2 minutes)
Bravo
HBO
TBS
Showtime
Comedy Central
Bravo
HBO
Showtime
F/X
Comedy Central
This only took me about ten seconds:
I have to have HGTV, Food Network, Comedy Central, VH1, and E!
MTV (Hills, can’t live without them), TV1 (I need my Martin/Good Times marathons), Comedy Central (can’t get enough of that South Park stuff), Bravo (two words: Project Runway) and FX (McNamara/Troy is my guiltiest pleasure of all)
Oooh, if I could add on, I’d include Soap Central (I need to catch up while I’m at work)
Food Network (right off the bat)
USA (for more Law and Order SVU)
E! (for Talk Soup)
Style (for How Do I Look?)
TV Land (cause they have Three’s Company)
ESPN
YES
Turner Classic Movies
Discovery
IFC
Comedy Central, TCM, USA, TNT, and FX, I guess, for Damages. If Bravo would bring back reruns of West Wing, I’d go with that, but Project Runway is not enough. My instant choice was TCM because I am a geek. It is the class of the field.
VH1
BBC America
Cartoon Network
USA
MTV2
TNT
Bravo
USA
Comedy Central
VH1
HBO – too many good shows to name
F/X – I have a huge list of “what I don’t like about (my)self”
ESPN – SportsCenter
Sci-Fi – Battlestar Galatica
TNT – Who doesn’t love watching the same movie 3 times in 1 weekend?
done in 5 mins
TNT for The Closer
TBS for My Boys
USA for Monk, Psych (RIP 4400/Dead Zone) plus the endless L&O reruns (that applies to TNT too)
Bravo for their Top ____ reality programs and Project Runway
ABC Fam for cheesy TV movies
ALN (MTM, Nehart, WKRP, Lou Grant, Trapper John)
AMC (Mad Men)
E! (Guilty Pleasure)
HBO
Showtime
Oohhh…I must edit.
Add TCM
Subtract E!
Food network – need my Alton Brown
Bravo – Project Runway, Top Chef
Discovery Channel – Mythbusters!
Cartoon Network – Adult swim
Uh…
Oh Yeah! Stewart and Colbert are coming back so #5 is Comedy Channel!
This was a little bit of a frightening experience, having to choose ONLY 5 channels. But here they are
1. Sci-Fi (Stargates SG-1 and Atlantis, Doctor Who and those all day marathons of old shows)
2.USA (Law & Order: SVU, Monk, the occasional good movie)
3.E! (The Soup)
4.G4TV (Attack of the Show, Ninja Warrior)
5. Cartoon Network (Adult Swim)
Comedy Central for Colbert/Stewart
Easy…5 seconds for this one.
MTV
MTV2
BET
VH1
Bravo
There ya go. The best cable stations available!
ESPN
TNT
Headline News
F/X
Lifetime/Bravo (can’t decide!)
HBO (great shows)
Comedy Central (South Park, Drawn Together, Sarah Silverman, Reno 911)
Discovery (Cash Cab, Planet Earth)
Bravo (Project Runway and other gay shows)
TBS (Family Guy and The Office reruns!)
Easy-
1. HBO – the best shows.
2. Comedy Central – all about the Daily Show
3. BBC America – I need my dose of British shows
4. Turner Classic Movies – the best movie channel on cable
5. VH1 – a nice mix of morning music videos and fun reality programming
1. USA (Monk, Psych, Burn Notice, WWE RAW)
2. Comedy Central (Daily Show, Colbert)
3. Discovery Channel (Dirty Jobs, Mythbusters)
4. Travel Channel (Anthony Bourdain ’nuff said)
5. FX (The Shield, Rescue Me)
1. USA (Monk, Psych, Burn Notice, WWE RAW)
2. Comedy Central (Daily Show, Colbert)
3. Discovery Channel (Dirty Jobs, Mythbusters)
4. Travel Channel (Anthony Bourdain ’nuff said)
5. FX (The Shield, Rescue Me)
Bravo
MSNBC
USA
TBS
Food Network
USA – I need Psych, and all the SVU repeats
Showtime – Can’t live without Weeds and Dexter
Discovery – Dirty Jobs and Cash Cab
Food Network – Food porn!
HBO – For the movies, actually, not the shows. Showtime has really bad movies.
- Game Show Network (who else has a web site dedicated to game shows from 1975?)
- ESPN
- Disney Channel (for my son)
- Bravo (for my wife)
- CNN (because, occasionally, we use our brains)
Now that there is no Sopranos, I’m going to leave HBO off of the list for now (though the John Adams miniseries looks good). So we’ll go with:
1. Comedy Central
2. TCM
3. Bravo (but Top Chef needs to improve quickly)
4. Discovery Channel (love my MythBusters and shows about rollercoasters)
5. E! (I need my Soup fix…otherwise, replace with History Channel).
I’ll miss you Food Network…I’ll just have to watch The Today Show to get my Giada fix.
ESPN – no debate
Food Network
Comedy Central
Bravo
VH1
It was really hard leaving DiscoveryHD off the list, but now that we have the Planet Earth DVDs on BluRay, it would be doable.
gotta have:
HGTV – for all the landscaping shows
TLC – for all the how-tos and documentaries
BBC – those Brits are a funny bunch
CNN – for the most up to date news
SciFi – who doesn’t love a little science fiction?