If I were to die right now, they'd find 'Paradise Hotel 2' on my body

Hcamden_lDo you ever stop and think: If I were to die right now, this is what they’d find on me? I have that experience at least once a year, and it happened Friday night when I left the office with the following DVDs in my bag:

* A screener for the premiere of Paradise Hotel 2, which debuts on MyNetwork TV and Fox Reality (TV-MA version!) Feb. 4.
* The March series premiere of the CW reality show Farmer Wants a Wife.
* The Jan. 19 Oxygen original Husband for Hire. Starring Mark Consuelos and Mario Lopez.
* The fifth season of 7th Heaven. (I know you all told me not to do it, but it was on the giveaway table and I couldn’t help myself. By the way, you were right.)

Had I been hit by a cab while carrying that crap, I promise you that I would’ve used my last breath to lie and say, "They’re for work." Pause for pain shudder. "Honest." But what about you? Have you ever felt life’s fragility while transporting a piece of shameful entertainment? Or, maybe there’s something in your home collection that, if something unfortunate happens to you, you’re hoping a friend finds before the authorities?

addCredit(“Seventh Heaven: Everett Collection”)


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  • alm034

    Back in the ’90s, all my younger sister wanted was the Spice Girls first album. I sucked it up, walked into a record store, bought it, and walked out without making eye contact with anyone just like buying a dirty magazine. I was just trying to get home without being seen by any known acquaintances. See what a good sibling I am? P.S. She can’t tell you what happend to that CD.

  • PS

    Paradise Hotel 2?? Cool! I knew it was coming, now there’s a date!

  • Auriana

    One word: Hentai.

  • Jim

    This is why you should have a shovel buddy. Upon your death, a trusted friend comes to your house, gathers up all embarrassing objects, and buries them.

  • Anonymous

    Erotic literature. Not porn – no pictures.

  • jar

    right before Harry Potter 7 came out, i went to the library and checked out books 1-3 for a refresher course. and just for good measure (and this is where true embarrassment comes in), i also got the Taylor Hicks CD.
    if anyone asked, i was going to lie and say they were for some made-up younger cousin. but they were for me. and i’m in my mid-20s.

  • stephanie

    There is this picture of me on my 15th birthday where I have just tackle hugged my best friend because she gave me a New Kids On The Block poster. I am 32 now, so it was all age appropriate, but still…it shames me.

  • MMJ

    “They” wouldn’t find anything worth noting, I just wanted to state, for the record, that I am so.excited. for Paradise Hotel 2. Even though there’s no way it could ever be as beautiful as the original season!

  • stephen

    Mine is semi-related, but has more to do with my i-pod. Whenever I’m out running I think what if a car hit me, and the driver picked up my fallen i-pod. Would I really want to be remembered as the kid who listens to “My Humps”?

  • Rae Rae

    i am in my 20’s with some high school musical and hannah montana on my ipod…oh, the shame!

  • monica

    i work in a building with very important, respectable people, so every time i get in the elevator i immediately evaluate what i’m listening to and then lower it if it’s embarrassing or intimidating, for example britney spears, backstreet boys, lil kim, korn, etc. so if i died on the way to work or home, i’d probably use my residual strength to throw my iPod far far away.

  • Jen

    I’m a big Mariah Carey fan, but apparently my friend is a huge Mariah Carey fan. She forced Glitter on me. I’ve been “borrowing” it for 4 months and have yet to watch it. If I die before I see her on New Year’s, that will be embarrassing.

  • sdr

    i’m trumping everyone here- all i have to say is that in my vast cd collection, there lies some clunkers but nothing as embarassing as “in the life of chris gaines”. yes, garth brooks alter ego sucked me in and i bought the cd! i don’t even like country music, why on earth would i like a fictional ‘alt rocker’ created by one of the main reasons i don’t like country music??? no idea, but my husband loves to bring this up at least twice a year.

  • Cara

    Funny, I had a similar panic attack the other day with my DVD collection. I was flipping through it, trying to decide what to watch, when I had the sudden conviction that I was going to have to ask someone to throw away “Mighty Ducks 2″ and “Catwoman”, should I happen to die suddenly.

  • nunyobizniz

    why wait for that accident. I’m going home and disposing of Shaft (keeping the original version though).

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