nut guard
noun
The credit on an actor’s resume that is so beloved it stops fans from wanting to actually kick him where it hurts after sitting through his latest stinker.
[Origin: After seeing Fred Claus, Mandi told her friend Karen that she wanted to kick Vince Vaughn in the nuts. Karen said, “No, you can’t. He’s got a nut guard because of Swingers.”]
Which other actors have a nut guard?
I hate to say this Cuba Gooding…for Jerry McGuire
I kind of disagree with the Cuba one, but I would venture Brad Pitt (for 12 Monkeys or even True Romance).
Brad Pitt again, “Fight Club”.
Hilary Swank: “Boys Don’t Cry”.
Ben Affleck has two newly-acquired, fourth-quarter nut guards: “Hollywoodland” and “Gone Baby Gone”. And he needed them.
Oliver Stone with Platoon, and it’s getting smaller every year
- Mel Gibson had one for Lethal Weapon until his crazy sugar t#@ts tirade.
- Tom Hanks has one for Saving Private Ryan and Apollo 13.
Yeah but I would almost credit Brad with an anti-nut-guard (nut exposer? nut proffer?) for Legends of the Fall.
Jude Law – I Heart Huckabees
Leonardo DiCaprio – What’s Eating Gilbert Grape
Tom Hanks – Philadelphia & Apollo 13
Ones who have lost the right to any nut guards,ever:
Mel Gibson
Tom Cruise
Hugh Jackman (Van Helsing) has a nutguard via XMen.
The first half of Robin Williams’ career is one big guard against his last umpteen movies.
100% guaranteed, non-revocable nut guards for life: The cast of “Entourage” This includes, but is not limited to “Drive Me Crazy” and “PCU”
Directors get nut guards too. Cameron Crowe didn’t get nailed in the man-varies after Elizabethtown thanks to Almost Famous
Stephen Baldwin in “The Usual Suspects.”
Honestly, has there ever been another actor who has been in ONE movie that was SO good, surrounded by credits taht are absolute garbage?
Then again, I love “Usual Suspects” so I think anyone in that cast (as well as the cast of “Six Feet Under”) has a lifetime nutguard in my mind.
Keanu Reeves has one, thanks to the first Matrix movie, because the last two were crap!
Not to mention Angelina Jolie (well, it would be a different kind of guard now wouldn’t it???) for Girl Interrupted. I almost revoked it after I saw Life or Something Like It!
in the female category- lindsay lohan because of mean girls…
in the male category- cuba gooding jr. because of jerry maguire…