So the actors who played the Munchkins in The Wizard of Oz finally got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday, giving news writers across the country a chance to dust off their witty story-opening skills. Oh, the puns they employed! Which means it’s high time for what I like to call an old-fashioned lede-off…
* Boring things first: The Associated Press kept a straight face, as is its wont: "Almost 70 years after ‘The Wizard of Oz’ premiered at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, a few of the film’s Munchkins made a grand entrance there Tuesday to receive a collective star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame." Indeed they did. Zzz.
* Others chose to flog a mega-obvious Oz joke, including Reuters ("The Yellow Brick Road finally ended on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Tuesday…") and this local NBC affiliate ("A Hollywood star for the ‘Wizard of Oz’ Munchkins? Even for Scarecrow it was a no-brainer!"). That sound you hear is me not laughing.
* A local ABC broadcaster, meanwhile, made an ill-advised dash toward the think-piece route: "We all remember the twister, the flying monkeys and the Wicked Witch of the West. But what would the ‘Wizard of Oz’ be without the Munchkins?" Unfortunately for them, an unrelated blog post over at hecklerspray.com pretty much killed that line of inquiry: "Without the Munchkins, The Wizard of Oz would have been totally different — a story about a young girl in a strange magical land instead of a story about a young girl in a strange magical land where a bunch of midgets do a dance at the end." Harsh!
Still, the award for most uncomfortable lede definitely has to go to the Los Angeles Times, which appears to have outsourced this assignment to Michael Scott from The Office: "They’re little more than waist high to some people. But on Tuesday no one was standing taller in Hollywood than the Munchkins." Uff.
Okay, look, I get that there’s virtually no fresh way to write about something like this. But were these really the best opening sentences these writers could come up with? I’m in more of a mock-the-hard-work-of-others than a contribute-something-constructive-myself mood at the moment, so I’ll leave the suggestions up to you. In the meantime, a few other points to ponder: Does anyone else think it’s kinda weird and patronizing to give all 124 "Munchkins" a single collective star? Did the surviving Munchkins all have to fit their hand- and footprints on that one square of concrete? And is it even possible for you to read the word "Munchkin" that many times in a row and not think of Dunkin Donuts?
“a few of the film’s Munchkins made a grand entrance”
The rest couldn’t make it because the Lollypop Guild is on strike.
The Hollywood Walk of Fame is such a joke, when you look at who has one, and who doesn’t.
My own take would have been something like:
Dorothy went home, Scarecrow got a brain, the Tin Man recieved a heart and the Cowardly Lion earned courage. On Tuesday, the Munchkins received an honor that will guarantee they will be walked over, spit on and looked down on for generations in the future.
My favorites are how all newscasters think they’re original with O.J. and Britney.
1. “Well the juice just may be squeezed!”
2. “Oops she did it again! The toxic singer is causing social services to say gimme less after the toxic break-up of her chaotic marriage with hubby Kevin Federline.”
All n sources of media think they’re clever with the puns, but should flip the channel to know everyone else is doing them.
EW criticizing the painful puns and retarded wordplay of other outlets is somewhat like Dick Cheney calling a reporter an a*****e.
I think Bernard nailed it. Slow day on the blogging front…..
If only getting a star on the Walk of Fame meant anything anymore, right David Spade?
Handprints are at Graumann’s Theater, not the Walk of Fame. Those are just stars, and anyone who pays for the upkeep can have one.
Simon–you are such a smart ass! In case you missed it, this film is a classic–your comments are not the least bit funny. I find it incredible that you actually get paid to write such crap–You would do well to educate yourself on what’s interesting and whats not. This is a milestone for these people! You probably had rather write about one of Hollywood’s eating disordered/druggies….Loser!!
Harsh comments, Beth! What happened to the Thanksgiving spirit? And anyway – maybe you read too fast. I don’t see any attack on the classic film, I see an attack on asinine writing. You see the difference? Keep those smartass posts coming, Simon….
No small feat! Now acknowlegement corrects short sightedness!!
Simon, DO YOU READ YOUR OWN MAGAZINE?!!! EW is the standard-bearer for bad pun headlines. Or as EW itself would put it, “Mental-tainment Weakly: Hell-to-the-No-Pun-Sesame!”
Sometimes I don’t even know what your headlines are saying….
Meanwhile…
The Munchkins rule. Best Munchkins: head of Lollipop Guild, Coroner, and baby girl hatching out of egg on line “Wake up, you sleepyheads”
The LA Times opening is just offensive. The writer should be shot.
I’m with Beth. Any moron can throw stones at someone else’s work. This author did nothing to honor the occasion, only to parade his jealousy at not having anything better to say.
Excellent article and commentary!
http://www.1-satellite-tv-facts.com/Affiliate-Programs.html
I am trying to contact any of the original Munchkins from the Wizard of Oz movie for a huge fundraiser performance of the show we are doing to raise money for the Susan G Komen breast cancer foundation and the Ronald McDonald House supporting hospitalized children with long term illnesses and their parents. If anyone has any information as to how we might contact any of the actors who played Munchkins or their agents/ representatives, we would be so grateful! Thank you!
Lani Ridley
Benefit Drama Chair/ Producer