Let’s play a game, and see how many individual things we can find wrong with the trailer for Jessica Simpson’s abysmal looking Major Movie Star. Click here to watch, then select one and only one reason it’s an unspeakable mess. (To raise the stakes, try not to pick anything that your fellow readers have already mentioned.)
I’ll get us started: That "boing" sound effect when the bulldog cocks his ears.
Okay, your turn!
Jessica Simpson’s face
The words Jessica, Simpson, Major, Movie and Star all appearing in the same context. There is something utterly frightening about seeing that. By the way, does anyone have any idea what happened to her other movie, “Blonde Ambition. ” I remember seeing that trailer on Popwatch and being frightened back then too.
I cannot bring myself to watch the trailer. But, I already know something that is wrong:
Jessica Simpson is in it.
The narrator saying “…everyone wants a piece of your pie.” *shudder* I’d really rather not think about where Jessica Simpson’s pie has been.
the fact that it was made
Hahaha, nice try, but you can’t trick me into watching that trailer.
plus side Jessica Simpson is Hot
Minus side, I turned off the trailer before it even finished, there is no way i would watch the movie. BRUTAL. Stick to singing Jess, you are only sorta crappy at that.
The opening line of the song on the trailer… abysmal.
Two words – Steve Guttenberg
The requisite dance number in the barracks which brings some much-needed fun! to these women’s lives.
The obligatory “What do you think this is, rehab?” joke.
Give me “Private Benjamin” over this mess any day. I think *I* just threw up in my mouth a little. Ugh.
That “Private Benjamin” was ALREADY made. And that even with Goldie Hawn the last third kinda blew.
“…the world is your cupcake.” WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?!?!?!
This movie has been done before with Goldie Hawn’s “Private Benjamin,” Jessica Simpson is no Goldie Hawn..