The threat of the current Hollywood writer’s strike extending past the holidays has the suits at CBS plotting an early return for summer reality staple Big Brother. And while the Julie Chen-hosted series isn’t normally on my radar — see, Mom, I don’t watch every reality show on television! — rumors that the network is planning an all-celebrity installment has seriously piqued my interest.
Of course, the success or failure of Celebrity Big Brother hinges on casting. And while my colleague Gary Susman points out that CBS has a great opportunity to perform a public service by locking away Hollywood’s least talented and most annoying players for a good three months, I’d go in a different direction. I mean, we’re going to have to find a way to survive the chilliest winter months without Dirty Sexy Money or Dexter or Desperate Housewives — not to mention a host of other great shows that don’t begin with ‘D.’ Come mid-February, our survival might depend on the Chenbot‘s exit interviews!
So let’s get the casting started. Scoring genuinely funny characters is a must for any reality show, so I’d kick off by signing up the hilarious (and highly opinionated) Margaret Cho (pictured). And of course, you’ve got to consider the crazy quotient, so Gary Busey and Courtney Love, you’re welcome, as well. And finally, what better way to class up a project than to add Meryl Streep to the mix? Yes, it’s beneath her talents and blah blah blah, but what else is the woman going to do till the strike is over? Take up a quilting class? Alphabetize her awards statuettes? Oscar winners need work, too, you know.
Okay, PopWatchers, you’ve got my early suggestions, now it’s time to pitch in with your own. Who else belongs on Celebrity Big Brother? Because Meryl can’t save television all on her own.
Mario Cantone
Kat Williams
Chris Cocker
Bill Maher
Tila Tequila
and Ann Coulter
Neil Patrick Harris needs to be cast. Not only is he a scream, but he’s a fan of hte show.
Kathy Griffin!
Kathy Griffin!
Kate Beckinsale
Jessica Alba
Eliza Dushku
Eval Longoria
Laura Vandervoort
Whoops, sorry. I thought this was a different list …
OMG! I hate her to bits, but Ann Coulter is an inspired choice. I would PAY for the live feeds if she and Margaret Cho were both in it.
Sorry to go off topic here, but Michael, can you do a pop watch about how insane the People’s Choice Awards categories are? I went to the voting site today after seeing the link in the EW news section. Premonition was up for best drama. WHAT? No love for the Office, 30 Rock or Ugly Betty in the comedy category, but King of Queens gets a nom? Drew Barrymore for favorite female lead? Who are the idiots who chose these finalists?
Why not Michael Jackson? Sure, he’s not an actor, but with him we’d get all of these rolled into one:
crazy
token black person (sorta)
lots of tears (especially if Barbara Walters is there too)
did I mention crazy?
New York
Kathy Griffin
Bobby Brown
Elisabeth Hasselbeck
Ann Coulter
Rosie O
I vote for Katt Williams!!! He is great and if they threw Ann Coulter into the house with him, he would be able to crack on her and win an argument. Kathy Griffin would be funny.
The entire cast of LOST.
amy sedaris…as jerri blank.
Instead of trying to cast people who will fight and try to kill each other, how about casting genuinely funny people who will make the show entertaining? Neil Patrick Harris is a fantastic choice and maybe some of the “B” characters from the Office.
Ann Coulter
Ben Affleck
Crispin Glover
Adrianne Curry
Chris Crocker (leave Britney alone!)
Pacman Jones
Turtle
Lindsay Lohan
O.J.
Robert Blake
Phil Spector