The threat of the current Hollywood writer’s strike extending past the holidays has the suits at CBS plotting an early return for summer reality staple Big Brother. And while the Julie Chen-hosted series isn’t normally on my radar — see, Mom, I don’t watch every reality show on television! — rumors that the network is planning an all-celebrity installment has seriously piqued my interest.
Of course, the success or failure of Celebrity Big Brother hinges on casting. And while my colleague Gary Susman points out that CBS has a great opportunity to perform a public service by locking away Hollywood’s least talented and most annoying players for a good three months, I’d go in a different direction. I mean, we’re going to have to find a way to survive the chilliest winter months without Dirty Sexy Money or Dexter or Desperate Housewives — not to mention a host of other great shows that don’t begin with ‘D.’ Come mid-February, our survival might depend on the Chenbot‘s exit interviews!
So let’s get the casting started. Scoring genuinely funny characters is a must for any reality show, so I’d kick off by signing up the hilarious (and highly opinionated) Margaret Cho (pictured). And of course, you’ve got to consider the crazy quotient, so Gary Busey and Courtney Love, you’re welcome, as well. And finally, what better way to class up a project than to add Meryl Streep to the mix? Yes, it’s beneath her talents and blah blah blah, but what else is the woman going to do till the strike is over? Take up a quilting class? Alphabetize her awards statuettes? Oscar winners need work, too, you know.
Okay, PopWatchers, you’ve got my early suggestions, now it’s time to pitch in with your own. Who else belongs on Celebrity Big Brother? Because Meryl can’t save television all on her own.