The threat of the current Hollywood writer’s strike extending past the holidays has the suits at CBS plotting an early return for summer reality staple Big Brother. And while the Julie Chen-hosted series isn’t normally on my radar — see, Mom, I don’t watch every reality show on television! — rumors that the network is planning an all-celebrity installment has seriously piqued my interest.
Of course, the success or failure of Celebrity Big Brother hinges on casting. And while my colleague Gary Susman points out that CBS has a great opportunity to perform a public service by locking away Hollywood’s least talented and most annoying players for a good three months, I’d go in a different direction. I mean, we’re going to have to find a way to survive the chilliest winter months without Dirty Sexy Money or Dexter or Desperate Housewives — not to mention a host of other great shows that don’t begin with ‘D.’ Come mid-February, our survival might depend on the Chenbot’s exit interviews!
So let’s get the casting started. Scoring genuinely funny characters is a must for any reality show, so I’d kick off by signing up the hilarious (and highly opinionated) Margaret Cho (pictured). And of course, you’ve got to consider the crazy quotient, so Gary Busey and Courtney Love, you’re welcome, as well. And finally, what better way to class up a project than to add Meryl Streep to the mix? Yes, it’s beneath her talents and blah blah blah, but what else is the woman going to do till the strike is over? Take up a quilting class? Alphabetize her awards statuettes? Oscar winners need work, too, you know.
Okay, PopWatchers, you’ve got my early suggestions, now it’s time to pitch in with your own. Who else belongs on Celebrity Big Brother? Because Meryl can’t save television all on her own.
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Mario Cantone
Kat Williams
Chris Cocker
Bill Maher
Tila Tequila
and Ann Coulter
Neil Patrick Harris needs to be cast. Not only is he a scream, but he’s a fan of hte show.
Kathy Griffin!
Kathy Griffin!
Kate Beckinsale
Jessica Alba
Eliza Dushku
Eval Longoria
Laura Vandervoort
Whoops, sorry. I thought this was a different list …
OMG! I hate her to bits, but Ann Coulter is an inspired choice. I would PAY for the live feeds if she and Margaret Cho were both in it.
Sorry to go off topic here, but Michael, can you do a pop watch about how insane the People’s Choice Awards categories are? I went to the voting site today after seeing the link in the EW news section. Premonition was up for best drama. WHAT? No love for the Office, 30 Rock or Ugly Betty in the comedy category, but King of Queens gets a nom? Drew Barrymore for favorite female lead? Who are the idiots who chose these finalists?
Why not Michael Jackson? Sure, he’s not an actor, but with him we’d get all of these rolled into one:
crazy
token black person (sorta)
lots of tears (especially if Barbara Walters is there too)
did I mention crazy?
New York
Kathy Griffin
Bobby Brown
Elisabeth Hasselbeck
Ann Coulter
Rosie O
I vote for Katt Williams!!! He is great and if they threw Ann Coulter into the house with him, he would be able to crack on her and win an argument. Kathy Griffin would be funny.
The entire cast of LOST.
amy sedaris…as jerri blank.
Instead of trying to cast people who will fight and try to kill each other, how about casting genuinely funny people who will make the show entertaining? Neil Patrick Harris is a fantastic choice and maybe some of the “B” characters from the Office.
Ann Coulter
Ben Affleck
Crispin Glover
Adrianne Curry
Chris Crocker (leave Britney alone!)
Pacman Jones
Turtle
Lindsay Lohan
O.J.
Robert Blake
Phil Spector
i think the notorious ms. cho is an excellent choice.
pete burns in a reprise from his uk clebrity bb stint. time for america to get acquainted with this freakalicious star.
Put all the walking disasters of the moment in the house and see how they crumble without booze and pills. Make then do food competitions that will result in them – gasp! – gaining a pound. Common Brit, Lindsay et all, what else have you go to do? Obviously nothing worthwhile…
Definitely Kathy Griffin–she would be HILARIOUS in the diary room!
Katt Williams and Gary Busey would be great. I also wouldn’t mind seeing RuPaul because you gotta have a cross-dresser.
Keeping in the spirit of how they always cast these celebrity reality shows…
Craig Kilborn (because I still miss seeing him every night)
Molly Ringwald (old school celebrity)
Nancy Grace (just so we have someone to hate)
Nikki Sixx (we need an 80’s metal guy)
Yasmine Bleeth (and a Baywatch chick)
Corey Haim (because Feldman always gets the gigs)
Nick Lachey & Kevin Federline (celebrity ex-husbands)
Joe Rogan (former Fear Factor host)
New York
Kathy Griffin
Ross the Intern
Kat Von D
Courtney Love
Joshua Jackson
Chris Kirkpatrick
Eminem
How about sticking the AMPTP and the WGA in a Big Bro room to duke it out and settle the strike so we can get back to good scripted TV faster.
Ann Coulter (token older conservative woman)
Wayne Newton (token older man)
Paris Hilton (token twentysomething blonde famewhore #1)
Courtney Peldon (token twentysomething blonde famewhore #2)
Chris Crocker (token twentysomething blonde famewhore #3)
Jesse Metcalfe (token twentysomething himbo #1)
What’shisface from Laguna Hills or whatever (token twentysomething himbo #2)
Zac Efron (token twentysomething himbo #3)
Neil Patrick Harris (token gay male)
Janelle (because Big Brother luuuurrrrves her)
Cindy Crawford
Lance Bass
Judge Judy
David Faustino
Monique
Johnathan Taylor Thomas
Jesse Metcalf
Ashley Tisdalel
Jamie Lynn Spears
Monica
Jason Priestly
Mr. T
Leslie Stahl
There’s thirteen for the house. Let’s cast this thing and get it going already!!!
Gary Busey is a must
Kathy Griffin
Flavor Flav
Da Brat-she doesn’t have a career anymore
Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty!
Ok hats off to Heather & louise for suggesting Neil Patrick Harris! I thought he’d make a GREAT choice before I even knew he was a fan of the show for a couple of reason. (1) He already WORKS for CBS on HIMEYM, and if the strike is going on, he wouldn’t be working on that sitcom anyways! (2)The sequel to Harold & Kumar is coming out in Feb. so he’ll more than likely being talked about in genral already. (3)Not only is he funny & OUT, he’d also fuilfill the requirement of one of the HOT guys in the house. (4)Honestly, if he agreed to be cast, I think he’d be the 1st gay male to make a good impression to Middle America where homosexuality is still kinda regarded as sinful. After Joe and Dustin from last summer, I think Neil would be a bit of a 360. An actual funny gay guy who’s liked & not waiting to be kicked out of the house! CBS GET ON HIM!!
Now as far as other suggestions go, I’d prefer REAL celebrities instead of C List stars from the 9o’s. If NOT NPH how about Seann William Scott?
Let’s throw all the pseudo reality TV celebs in together. Chenbot, Anderson Cooper, Jeff Probst, the guy from amazing race, Donald Trump, all of them. That would be nice.
Throw Tom Cruise into the mix for some extra crazy. He could try and convert everyone to Scientology.