Kid Nation's Got Talent

Kid_lFrom the desk of Alynda Wheat:

Hi, my name is Alynda, and I’m the founder of the Laurel fan club. Yes, I know that’s creepy. I don’t care! Last night Bonanza City had a talent show, and it turned out that the most talented member of the group* wasn’t even onstage. Laurel can sang. She’s not amazing — gotta save something for when she hits American Idol in ’09 — but that little red-haired girl’s got soul.

The rest of the kids though, they got stones. Jared busting out a monologue from Lear? Olivia and Kennedy making with the funny? (Has no adult ever pulled them aside and explained that chicks don’t do comedy, math, or guys on parole?) Surprising and laudatory feats of bravery, all. Quibbles, though: In spite of the fact that I’m not really sure I get why Kennedy’s performance was worth $20K, it wasn’t even my biggest issue with the show. Ohhhh, Savannah, c’mere. Look hon, we know you’re homesick and that’s sad. And sure, it seemed like a nice time to tell all the dancing bears that they’d amused you enough to convince you to stay in Bonanza City. But in spite of whatever you’ve been told, making things all about you is not an actual talent. Next time try juggling.

Moving on… raise your hand if you’re confused by the judgment of Kid Nationproducers. Higher, PopWatchers, some of you have short arms. Seriously,last night there were examples of good judgment, like learning thatthis whole time Bonanza has had its own Paris and Nicole, who, like theother Paris and Nicole, are pretty but bland. Thus, we were spared. Butthen there are moments of such abjectly bad judgment we wonder if MissHannigan is running the joint. I’m talking about the challenge. Let’sget this straight: The object was for these kids, some of whom haveexpensive orthodontia, to spend an hour chewing gum. Not sugar-freegum, mind you, but the stuff that’s encased in enough fructose to giveit the consistency of granite. As if that weren’t enough, they then hadto remove said gum, loogies attached, and pass it to their haplessleader. People, there isn’t enough anti-bacterial soap in the world tomake that okay. Bad producers! Bad!

And once again it’s time to vote on funniest moment of the night:Pageant Princess Taylor doing laundry? Greg and Blaine’s skit? Tryingto figure out which kids are future theater majors? Or my personalfavorite: Divad continuing to guarantee that she goes home broke bybeing the most sullen, surly, obsequious kid in town. Actually, maybethat’s not so much funny: ha ha, as funny: painfully lacking inself-awareness.

*Okay, technically, Kelsey was the most talented, but sluicing through a classical piece like Van Cliburn ain’t worthy spitty gum to middle-schoolers. Sorry kid. You’ll get your revenge when you’re at Juilliard.

Comments (67 total) Add your comment
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  • AA

    I was waiting for PPT’s “talent”! Isn’t that a requisite of someone of her “station,” to have an in-the-can talent to roll out at pageants?

  • LS

    Jarrod’s monologue was far better than Olivia’s comedy. I mean, come on, what does a nerd have to do to get a gold star? Oh, yesh- act like Kennedy. It was sweet seeing her call with her mother though.

  • JillS

    Jared’s talent is making those Bonanza souvenir necklaces and keychains!! That craftiness still blows my mind.

  • Rob

    I’m sure that Savannah was prompted by the producers to make her speech right after the talent show. It just didn’t seem spontaneous at all.
    At least we’re getting to meet the rest of the kids in town one by one. Hopefully, we’ll have cycled through all 40 by the time we’re done.
    Divad is just clueless about the criteria for a gold star. I suspect she works just as hard as the average kid there (not just on her potatoes), but talks herself up too much. I also suspect that she’s getting the dreaded “bad edit” from the producers. I think that it’s safe to say that there’s no Gold Star in her future.

  • mark in nyc

    I wonder if it is possible for Laruel to ever win the gold star as she sits on the council? I hope she can, she is the mamma bear of the group, always giving out hugs..and at the same time calling poeple out on their child like behavior (although, unlike in most reality shows…they do not know better)

  • Todd

    Why does crap like this (Stupid Rich Parents Whoring their Spoiled Children out for cash) get entries in the PopWatch Blog but shows that actually are well written, well acted, thought provoking and all around excellent (Life anyone?) gets nary a mention. I know that EW is all about “Pop Culture” but some of us who read this would rather our culture have some intelligence. Please spare us the “Stupid Human Tricks” shows and write about some quality.
    *rant off*

  • t3hdow

    I can eat my dinner through most House episodes okay, but even I had to turn away during that challenge. That was nothing short of disgusting. What were the producers thinking?

  • t3hdow

    Todd, one too many people ranted about this show getting a TV Watch while supposedly more deserving ones got the shaft and now the Kid Nation TV Watch is gone. This is the only spot left for the minority of us to continue discussing the show. There are fifty or so different topics weekly for popwatch, so if you don’t like this one, just skip it and leave the rest of us alone.

  • to todd

    You obvisoulsydo not watch the show, and just make assumptions based on the premise. While I am sure some of the kids may have rich parents, most do not. So much so that when they win the 20 grand each week, they think it will be enough to put them through college. It is life changing for them.
    and while some of the younger girls are spoiled, most of these kids work incredibly hard.
    Try watching the show, instead of fantasy cop shows where a cop wins milions of dollars and GOES BACK TO WORK! Riiiiigggghhhhhhtttttt….highbrow indeed.

  • skittles

    I agree with Todd, LIFE does deserve a TV Watch Its awesome. But I also like this show. But to the writer, Savannah never said she had a talent, she said she just had something to say. Calm Down.

  • skittles

    But I do want to become part of the Laurel fan club also. I was shocked she sounded so good. She needs some training and lessons but it was good. Why didnt she sing. Kelsey and Laurel good have done something together.

  • skittles

    I meant COULD have not good.

  • debba

    Alynda – I’m right there with you on the “I love Laurel” campaign. She’s shown such maturity and humility through all of this. My guess is that all of the kids left at then end of the 40 days will receive a gold star – including the well deservig council members. BTW: where did Greg and Blaine get their costumes? Also, I believe Jared’s monologue was from Henry V, not Lear :)

  • TVSlave

    Amen to the Laurel fan club…we need to find out if the council members are able to win a gold star…and I agree – it would have been fun to see what PTT could do. This show is terrific…

  • Craig

    Ahem Ms. Wheat… are you being suggestive when you talk about which kids are going to end up theater majors?

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