'Prison Break': Going nowhere slowly

Break_lLast night’s two-hour PB "event" — or, as I like to call it, pair of back-to-back episodes —€” was chock-full of reveals.  So let’€™s begin at the end:

•  So Susan (aka Gretchen) is working with/for Whistler.  Now I want to know, as soon as possible, the exact nature of their relationship.  My best guess? They’ve collaborated before —€” were partners, even —€” in some covert military operation.  Now they’re both out for a buck.  Either that, or he’s the one who saved her when she was taken captive years before and now she’s gotta help him out (a debt of honor —€” oh, how old school).  One thing is for sure, though:  After Susan reminded Whistly that he’d wanted to be out of Sona in seven days, and he should be miffed about staying four more, he replied, "won’t be comfortable — if I’m out of here by then, I can still do it."  What exactly, then, is it? And don’€™t tell me it has anything to do with water samples or geological tommyrot.

Susan is an ex-soldier. I got the point of the story she told L.J. about her experience as the bargaining chip in a hostage situation:  Don’t try to run, you whiny, useless moppet.  What I didn’t get is why she told it with no pants on.  Yes, she wanted L.J. to see the scars from the rape and torture she received from her own captors, but that could have been done in a pair of shorts.  The whole thing just felt forced and strange.

I might be wrong, but I suspect Whistler is former army as well.Fishermen aren’t the only ones who know how to tie knots (hello, BoyScouts). Say he did whack the Frenchie and frame Alex (come on, do wereally think Mahone would hide the murder weapon under his own bed?).Then, as Michael said, he must be a professional who knows how to killa man with one clean stab to the neck. And did you see the fightingmoves he whipped out on Michael? That swift throat check and some kindajumping head punch? Next up: He knows seven languages and Morse code.

•  Susan planned on moving a lot of corpses. Body bags. Bodybags. But let’s not jump to the conclusion that they were meant forMichael, Linc, and L.J. (though, in that case, I hope she rememberedone for Sucre, too). Who knows what double cross she has/had up hersleeve? At this point, I’d like to see Susan and Sofia snuff them all,collect some sort of bounty, and then go windsurfing together off theIvory Coast.

•  Sucre mans up fast. I’m not so positive thatsending a package of cash with his I.D. picture to Maricruz was a greatidea, but pulling his car out in front of Susan’s speeding van in orderto save L.J. was pretty darn brave.

•  Linc can make a dog’s breakfast out of the simplest task.Yeah, the guy is under a lot of stress. And he’s only been out in thefree world for what, maybe a month? So we can’t blame him for the twofailed rescue attempts. But did he really need to slip up and let Susanfigure out that the escape was taking place sooner than she thought? Heknows how she reacts to that sort of stuff.

•  Bellick has a heart.  He wants to play dice and he grieves, grieves, grieves for Sara.

•  Alex is up poop creek without a paddle. Unless you believeLang or the Wikipedia entry that says he’s going into rehab beforemeeting up with Mike in the Swiss Alps, saving Sofia, and dying like aman. I don’t.

•  Michael’s gotta get Lechero out, too. Why do thesethings always become a party? At least we know that Lechero (aka NormanSt. John) has been burned in the past, that he can plan (he got hisnickname by pretending to be a milkman in order to kill his mother’srapist) and that he believes in vengeance.

•  PB has gigantic plot holes. You can list those fromSeason 1 on the side of the Empire State Building, yet last night’swere too much for me. Not one of the other prisoners asked Mike andWhistly why they were knotting together a long rope. Macrame? I thinknot. And how did Hurtado not find it strange that Sofia asked him for aride to Sona after getting out of the driver’s seat of a car? Why didhe not notice that Linc — who said he was heading in the otherdirection —€” was then following them?

•  You can’t stage a prison break using sunlight and dog anesthesia. 

So what did you guys think of last night’s episode? According to thescenes-from-the next, Pad Man is returning, Mike’s tattoo is back inplay, and Whistler is gonna end up on the roof waving to a helicopter(shades of the Season 1 finale). How’s this plan gonna come together?Who has ideas about Prison Break: Cherry Hill, the proposedspin off starring upcoming new addition "Molly"? And how can the titlenot make you think of that old dirty joke, "I was on top of CherryHill?"

Comments (41 total) Add your comment
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  • Yo Yo

    Sigh. Sad to say that as much as I love Wenty I’ve given up on this show. Although, perhaps if they showed off more of his tattoo I’d be interested. I mean, come on, he’s sweating to death in that shirt–let’s see the TAT!

  • Heather

    I’m too far in now to give up on PB yet but there is no way I can get started on a spinoff. One gigantic leap away from actual character development, plot and plain old common sense is all I’m willing to give.

  • 2 Hours of Disappointment

    120 minutes of crap. Whoever’s writing this stuff should be fired. I liked the addition of the French guy 2 weeks ago. Yeah he had a foggy memory because he has a drug problem, but I was already sick of the other Sona characters. I believe that Michael, after learning that Sara’s dead, should have either left Whister (or yanked the rope down with him on it) and escaped. He, Linc, and Sucre could have taken that wretch Gretchen and the driver and freed LJ. My one question: why was Sucre passed out up until the point Linc asked him if he was okay? The best part of the episode(s) was Michael’s tantrum upon learning of Sara’s demise. That was great acting. But, they need to write him out of Sona, into better clothes, and seeking bitter vengence immediately. Also, I’d like to know what having Bellick in these episodes adds. Every second he’s in a scene is a second wasted. And no, nix the Prison Break: Cherry Hill concept. They had that show 3 decades ago (Prisoner Cell Block H).

  • Paul

    Last night had to be the WORST show ever – it is embarassing how this show went from top notch excitement to jaw-dropping stupor in just one season. I look at the TV screen wondering what happened? Did they go and hire an entire writing crew off the street? I can’t even believe this is the same show – they have jumped the shark 10 times over on this one. Having now wasted the last 2 seasons, I guess I’ll stick around and hope they wrap it up and cancel it at the end of this season. Spin-off? Give me a break – instant cancellation. I’m sure the ratings are starting to take a hit on this idiotic SONA storyline. Has gone from my favorite to absolute worst show in just a few episodes.

  • Sabrina

    I actually liked both episodes last night. Sure, there were plot holes and implausibilities, but when have there not been on PB. I say, keep ‘em coming, ’cause I’ll be watching.

  • Homer

    There is Linc standing with a gun to Gretchens head, finally giving up and standing there with a gun watching the two put LJ in the back of the van. Then watching the two get in the front and drive away. Why did he not cap them there in the front of the van. The show is getting hopeless………..

  • Homer

    There is Linc standing with a gun to Gretchens head, finally giving up and standing there with a gun watching the two put LJ in the back of the van. Then watching the two get in the front and drive away. Why did he not cap them there in the front of the van. The show is getting hopeless………..

  • james

    Michael needs more tattoos.

  • Barb

    I really love this show. Of course I get a little annoyed at some things that could have turned out differently but there are a few sweaty guys worth watching each week. I don’t think this show is as bad as some people do. Just sit back and enjoy and stop being so critical.

  • Pablo

    Susan is hot and nasty. Sit in front of me anytime with just a shirt on!!!!!!!!!

  • Dina

    After watching the first 2 seasons faithfully, the hubby and I had a course to go on Monday nights, so we gave PB up and after reading this tv watch, glad we did, PB should have quit after season 2. But we’ll watch season 3 DVD when it comes out cuz a part of us is annoyed that we spent TWO years on this show with no closure.

  • Carlos

    Dina, I’m sure that your “hubby” enjoys being led around by his nose.

  • Kay

    I guess I stopped regularly watching this a the beg of the season, then when I learned Sara was dead, it totally ruined it for me. I was able to catch up a bit last night, but, it’s ruined now that we know there won’t be a happy ending ever for Michael. I agree with Yo Yo, love Wentworth, lose those clothes! I was also irritated with Linc when he let them drive off with LJ. Linc doesn’t deserve a bro like Mike, he isn’t as dedicated. Bellick’s grief may turn into something down the road to help them out, we shall see. And really, you thnk Lechero would just let it go so easily? And how was it that susan could just walk up and do a prison visit so easily? whatever, it is called entertainment!

  • anne

    here’s my dilemna: PB is so annoying this season. The plot holes, the characters acting stupid, on ther other hand, I am a devout Wentworth fan (like so many other’s i chose him as my ultimate hottie). so i need to watch PB for my fix as there doesn’t seem to be many options on that front. so i guess I will muddle through the season in hopes it gets better.

  • cj

    I really liked these episodes. (But maybe they seemed extra good since I had just finished watching another crummy episode of Heroes off of my DVR.) Can’t wait to finally see the tats again! Susan is annoying (no pants why???), but other than that, it’s keeping me entertained.

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