My least favorite part of the writing process is titling my work. I’m very particular about titles, because I judge all books by their titles. If the author couldn’t come up with a few intriguing words for the cover, what exactly should I expect in the following 450 pages? Let’s say you’re a writer and the title of your book is A Summer in Nantucket. It might be a national bestseller. It might make Oprah cry. A well-respected critic could declare: "If you only have the opportunity to read one book in this lifetime, read A Summer in Nantucket…a literary triumph, a revolutionary masterpiece, your once in a lifetime." I’d still pass. A Summer in Nantucket sounds like the sort of book you own but never read, something you keep in your beach bag in case a friend who never returns anything asks to borrow a book. Now, let’s say you wrote the same book, but you titled it Nanfu**it. There’s punning profanity. It’s edgy. Parents are picketing to get the book off display shelves. It doesn’t say, "Read me now," it says, "Read me, don’t read me, hell if I care." A Summer in Nantucket might cure insomnia, but I’m reading Nanfu**it.
EW.com has a bestselling fiction chart. I would know, I update it every week. If you’re a writer on the search for the perfect title, consider these observations.
FACT: The odds of your book becoming a bestseller increase dramatically if your title includes a cosmological reference. This week on the chart we have, The Almost Moon (No. 2), not to be confused with Dark of the Moon (No. 6), Star Wars: Death Star (No. 12), or the alternative, A Thousand Splendid Suns (No. 4). For you, that leaves: On the Bright Side of Dusk, The Soul’s Lunar Eclipse, and Stars that Blackout around Dawn.
FACT: If you collaborate with a fellow bestselling writer, it can produce some interesting book chart anomalies and contradictions. Case in point: this week on the chart we have Run (No. 11), followed by the less ambiguous, Shoot Him if He Runs (No. 13). Currently up for grabs: Speed-Walking to a Slow Death, Move and You’re Dead (So Get Moving), and Quit Running So Fast, I’m Trying to Kill You.
FACT: Convincing the naive masses that they have buried potential and undiscovered talent isn’t the only way to make the non-fiction bestseller list. Become a Better You (No. 1), Be the Pack Leader (No. 15), and Think Big and Kick Ass in Business and in Life (No. 14) worked, but not all readers fall for these self-help title traps. Consider a title with a tone of desperation or indifference, something like Come On People (No. 5) or If I Did It (No. 13). A few ideas: You Haven’t Reached Your Maximum Potential…Yet, Everyone is Sick of Your Bulls**t, and This Kinda Worked For Me.
So PopWatchers, what about a book catches your attention? What are some of the best/worst book titles you’ve ever heard? If you’ve read Become a Better You and became a better you, let me know. Exactly how much better are you at being you? I liked you a lot more before you were better…
I mostly stick to authors. Mystery: Ruth Rendell. Fantasy: George R. R. Martin. Biography: Robert Caro.
Usually, I wait until I see a recommendation for an author, not just a book. Rendell and Martin were recommended by a novelist friend.
Considering that the author doesn’t have a lot of say in what the title of their book is going to be, I think it’s a little hard to judge the writing that way. That said, I will occasionally pick up a book solely based on an awesome title. “The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse” is one that springs to mind.
How to Lose Friends and Alienate People… I couldnt not pick it up.
“Stop Running So Fast, I’m Trying to Kill You”…that just made me laugh so hard. I don’t really know why. My favorite book has a great title – “Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates” by Tom Robbins. Hilarious.
My favorite book of all time is by Rita Mae Brown, who is genius at titles for books. This one was called Venus Envy.
I’ve picked up books based soley on the the title before, and been pleasantly surprised. I picked up ‘The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime’ by Mark Haddon purely because of the title, which is a reference to a Sherlock Holmes quote, and damn if it isn’t one of the best books I’ve ever read.
A new YA lit novel is called “The Title of This Book is Secret” – it really made me want to read it. “How Proust Can Change Your Life” is a great title, and I read and loved the book.
I also loved Miranda July’s “No One Belongs Here More Than You” – both the title and the book itself.
“It” by Stephen King. I remember when I saw that book I had to buy it just because the title was so simple and ambiguous. The book turned out to be quite scary and is still one of my favorite books all these years later.
“Bunny Modern” — wherein, there aren’t any bunnies, and it’s not even modern. It was set in the future and is about ladies that can’t get pregnant (sperm crisis — this theme seems to be rising).
I liked it though. The title just still confounds me — hence, why I picked it off the shelf.
Gretchen – I’d read any of those books you titled… too funny! As nay-lo picked out too, I’m especially eager for Quit Running So Fast, I’m Trying to Kill You.
I rarely pick up a book without reading a few reviews first, but then I passed The Well of Lost Plots by Jasper Fforde and fell in love with an entire universe. Make sure you start at the beginning with The Eyre Affair!
I concur with The Curious Incident…and agree, the book was great. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil is another great title, and great cover. I knew it was a pretty famous book, but picked it up because its look intregued me. I also loved The Devil in White City. These titles all sound naughty and dangerous I guess…
My sister and I always refer to Curious Incident as “curious incident of the upside down dog,” because of the cover art. The Tao of Pooh — excellent title. I generally avoid anything with “heart” or “love” or the name of a month in the title. That counts for movies as well.
You know, gretchen, you’re not painting a very flattering picture of yourself. So far you’re a woman who judges people by their tastes in movies and books by their titles. Anyway, the book title “Heartsick” makes you think it’s a romance beach read. Trust me. It’s not.
“Another Bullshit Night in Suck City”
by Nick Flynn…..what a great title