When something bad happens to one of your favorite celebrities, do your friends know to break the news to you gently? Do they phone or email to see how you’re handling it?
Here’s why I’m asking: Last week, I forwarded the press release I received about Isaac Hanson being diagnosed with pulmonary embolism to EW’s News & Notes department. Three minutes later, colleague Abby West responded with the following: "I’m so sorry, Mandi."
Now that we know Isaac will make a full recovery, I can admit what I was thinking: 1) How many times did that poor woman sit through my in-defense-of-Hanson speech last summer? I fear double digits — she shares my affinity for $3 mango margaritas. 2) Why couldn’t she have been with me in Amsterdam in February 1996, when I was forced to call the gentleman at my hotel front desk to ask what the word flashing across the television, on top of a clip of Gene Kelly in Singin’ in the Rain, meant? (I spelled the word for him: o-v-e-r-l-i-j-d-e-n. He spelled the translation for me: d-e-a-t-h.)
Honestly, I don’t know which is more special: that we all experience these kinds of Pop-Culture Heartaches — see also: that moment when your favorite band broke up, your favorite show got canceled, or your future husband married the person he was actually dating — or that our friends know us well enough to anticipate them. Take my die-hard Durannie pal Sheila, for example. In 1993, when we were working at Syracuse’s Daily Orange student newspaper, people actually fought over who would have to be the one to tell her that a Duran Duran (pictured) show in nearby Albany had been canceled.
"I remember what I was wearing: a black turtleneck top and aplum-colored skirt," Sheila says, 14 years later. "I came upstairs intothe newsroom, and Kate took me by the arm and said, ‘I need you to sitdown.’ She just started very slowly. ‘Simon Le Bon tore a vocal cord,and the show for this weekend has been canceled.’ I thought people puther up to it. I was like, ‘Right. Thanks. Nice try.’ She was like, ‘No,I’m not joking.’ I was in such a mood. I didn’t want talk to anybody.Everyone walked on eggshells around me."
Our college friend Tamara, who stopped by the DO office that night to check on Sheila, recalls the coddling at the time of her biggest PCH after first asking me, "Why do I always have an example for your f—ing PopWatch item?"."October 1995. Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson break up," she begins."I’m obsessed with them as a couple — I’ve just spent some time tryingto find their house in London earlier in the year. I’ve read the newsalready, and now I’m in Spanish class. It’s a nice day, so the teacherdecides to sit out on the lawn. We don’t really look like a class, sowhen my roommate Christine passes by, she stops, grabs my hand, andsays, ‘I’ve just heard the news. I saw it in USA Today. Are you okay?’ First, I’m like, ‘I’m in Spanish class.’ Then, I’m like, ‘I’m gonna be okay… It’s gonna take some time.’"
Your turn.
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When Steve Irwin died last year it was harder on my husband than when I had to tell him his Grandpa died
Joe Strummer’s death hit me hard. I was a die hard Clash fan, and about two days before his death I had finally gotten around to getting Global A Go-Go (the solo project he did with the Mescaleros). When I found out I put Johnny Appleseed on repeat and just listened to it over and over again. I didn’t know what else to do.
When “Lila” on General Hospital died, it brought me to tears, something I couldn’t do when my father-in-law died the month before. I found it so weird I thought there was something wrong with me til a good friend explained what I didn’t want to admit – I’d never really liked him but felt obligated to deny those feelings because my husband & in-laws revered him. Now I can say he was actually an emotionally abusive father to my husband when he was a boy.
When Michael Hutchence died. I will always remember what I was doing and where I was. I had just seen them in concert in Vancouver 2 months earlier. It still chokes me up listening to Never Tear Us Apart or watching any video. As much as I love INXS as a band (and I do think JD was the best pick from RockStar) Michael can never be replaced.
When Jim Henson died, I cried like a baby.
the deaths of notorious BIG, princess diana and john john. the breakup of jennifer aniston and brad pitt. cancellation of gilmore girls.
When Ben Affleck got engaged to Jennifer Lopez, I received a lot of “How are you taking it?” and likewise commentary. I couldn’t feel the same way about him for a long time. Now that he’s happily married to that nice Jennifer Garner, I’m fine, though. And glad to see his directorial debut is going so well!
MG the Daily Orange…something I haven’t seen/heard in a while. I remember the first time being devastated by a celeb death when I heard Stevie Ray Vaughn died and I was a kid. I also remeber being very sad about Rosemary Clooney dying and the news kept playing that song “I’ll be seeing you in all the familiar places” she seemed so nice and genuine as well as talented, and her voice.
When the WB cancelled Angel. 10 minutes after I found out, my friend called me to make sure I hadnt thrown my TV out a window.
John Lennon’s Death- I was only 8, but he was my Dad’s hero and it was like an Uncle or something had died. And my little brother (born in 1980) grew up idolizing the Beatles, and of course, Lennon was his favorite. We spent many family conversations trying to decide when we were to tell him that Lennon was actually dead. I think we told him when he was 5, before he started school and he found out from someone else!!
and of course John Lennon. I remember exactly where I was standing in the playground when I heard the news. I don’t know If I heard about it right when it happened, but I remember exactly when I heard the news.
When Jonathan Brandis committed suicide, I felt bad for a few days. I’d loved him so much as a teenager that I felt like I had lost an old friend.
Sinatra. He wasn’t my celebrity crush by any stretch, but he was my mom’s when she was younger. And he was just kinda always in the background throughout my whole life, just one of those very public figures who you don’t realize means something to you until they’re gone. My mom passed away a month ago today and it breaks my heart when Sinatra comes on the radio now. I have to keep myself from changing the station.
When Dave Matthews Band stopped listening to themselves and started listening to their record company, the result was a glossy forgettable pop piffle named “Everyday” that made me die a little inside. The band has never quite recovered since.
I cried for a week when Billy on Ally McBeal died.
I remember when John Lennon died, my dad came into the living room and said Did you hear that Jack Lemmon died? When we explained that it was John Lennon, not Jack his response was Oh. Who’s that?
I was at work when I heard about Jerry Garcia. During my lunch break the local radio station played nothing but Dead. I cried like a baby. Plus, I had to make the call to my boyfriend to break the news to him.
And as one of those people who got up at 2 in the morning to watch Diana marry Prince Charles, her death really knocked the wind out of me.
When Kurt Cobain killed himself. I was part of that generation which saw him as an instrument for change, someone who got us and spoke on our behalf. Finding out he too was only human was difficult.
Oh God… when Mr. Rogers died. My mother actually called me in the morning before I could turn on the news or the radio or go online to break the news to me. I was in a serious funk for the rest of the week. She also was the one to break it to me that Michael Landon died, which, in an instance of the worst timing ever, she told me right after I had seen Dying Young in the theaters. Yeah, I was kind of a mess.
Also? Loving the Daily Orange shout-out. Go Orange! (Class of ‘99)
I’ll never forget when I heard that Jeff Buckley was missing after going for a swim in the Mississippi River. I thought it was a cruel joke. When they finally found his body a few days later, I wore black for a week. I also felt the same pain and did the same thing the Hallowe’en when River Phoenix overdosed. They both had such bright futures ahead of them and were so so young when they died. Devastating.
My best friend called to check on me after they killed off Gary on “thirtysomething.” She knew that I LOOOOOOOOOVED him and that watching that show was the highlight of my week at a time when I was struggling with a really crappy job in a new city. I think she was afraid that it would just be the last straw and I’d throw myself out a window or something. (I’m fine now, thanks.)
I was crestfallen when Gilmore Girls was canceled (even though everyone knew it was coming, including me). Sadly, I watched the finale alone–although that may have been a good thing since it allowed me to shamelessly cry like a baby throughout.
I used to be a die-hard er fan, and sobbed for an hour and a half the episode where Mark Greene (Anthony Edwards) finally died. I cried pretty much every episode he was sick actually…
when i walked into work and was told that elliott smith i sat at my desk stunned for a few minutes.
but my big bawling moment occurred during the series finale of six feet under. i don’t know if i’ll ever be able to watch it again. it hit me just the right way and i was curled up on my couch crying.
i meant to write “told that elliott smith died”…
oops
For me, it was in 2002 when I found out that Layne Staley, lead singer of Alice In Chains, had overdosed and died alone in his apartment. AIC is one of my favorite bands, and Layne had an amazing command of his instrument, along with incredible songwriting abilities. He was the first celebrity passing that really affected me personally, because I loved the band so much. Such a horrible waste of a great talent.
The worst for me was when Phil Hartman got killed by his wife, and then in the middle of it all she went and shot herself, too! I was driving home from a morning class at the time and had to pull my car over because I was just so messed up from listening to it… I loved Phil Hartman. What a tragic loss.
I can’t say that I have been that affected by something in pop culture, maybe the death of Kurt Cobain. But I can say that I got a huge if inappropriate laugh from ‘d-e-a-t-h.’
Notice that no one has said Princess Diana. Interesting.
I had terrible jet lag and I thought I was watching SNL when they announced it, so I laughed really hard b/c it was soooo inappropriate. I felt kinda bad the next day when it turned out to be true.
Strangely, the same reaction to Kurt Cobain. It was scrawled on some record store sidewalk chalkboard . KC RIP, April 1994. And I thought it was a commentary on the music business going too commercial. I laughed along with it, feeling very superior and punkrock. When I found out what actually happened I cried for hours and felt lost for weeks.
i was a big fan of the pitt-aniston union. one night, i went over to a friends house to hang out, and a group of frieds were there. when i walked in they all looked at me nervously. oblivous to the shock and horror i was about to be exposed to, i sat down and my friend broke the news to me that they were getting a divorce. we all sat there for like five minutes silently thinking of those glorious days that would be no more and reminiscing about how great a couple they were. kinda pathatic, but it hurt.
When Geri Halliwell (Ginger Spice) left the Spice Girls. It showed up on MTV, scrolling news at the bottom of the screen. I stared at the TV for half an hour, and then whined for the rest of the day. It’s not a proud moment, but it was a devastating moment for gay teenage boys everywhere.