You know how sometimes in the middle of ragweed season, when you wake up to the sound of your cell phone ringing early on a Saturday morning, and you look at your phone, and see that it’s your mom, and you know she’s probably calling to ask if you’re as appalled as she is by what’s happening right this second on Decorating Cents, but you think to yourself, "Could this be an actual emergency?" And so you decide to answer, but instead of "Hello," all that comes out is a muffled, phlegm-y "Hghhhgh"? That’s sort of what Ashlee Simpson’s vocal sounds like on her new single, "Murder," which features an interlude by Gym Class Heroes’ Travis McCoy, declaring that O.J. is his favorite Simpson. (Way to dis Ashlee on her own track, dude!) There’s something about the whole "I got a monkey on my back/ He helped me to get it off/ He helped me to get it off" business that recalls Gwen Stefani’s "this s— is bananas," except for nothing about "Murder" actually is b-a-n-a-n-a-s. It’s more like h-o-t-m-e-s-s. Could this perhaps be the beginning of the end of Timbaland’s total domination of the top 40 airwaves? (That’d be kind of nice actually.)
I dunno. I have nothing left in the tank on this one. Shoot your own fish in a barrel in the comments section below. (Update: I’m 99.9% sure the embedded clip is not an official video, but since YouTube is the only place I could find the "Murder" audio file, you’ll have to endure outtakes of Ashlee’s sexytime photo shoot. Sorry!)
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is this the real video?
this is horrible.
simply stated…this should have been a volume of things that make me die inside…
It’s amazing. She copied Kelly Clarkson before. And now, with a new face, she’s decided copying Gwen (almost directly) and Fergie (shudder) are better bets. Who’s next Ashlee?
Color me confused…what does Little Miss Plastic Surgery prancing around a photo shoot have to do with murder and “a monkey on my back”? I agree with Slezak on the vocals too – she’s trying to be sultry but it just sounds like she’s gargling something. If this is Timbaland’s work, he needs to take a nice vacation.
That is the worst music video I have ever seen in my entire life.
My God, “Chocolate Rain” had better cinematography.
Horrid.
I wish “Chuck” would pop up on my computer screen and explain to me what the hell is up with that music video!
I got off the Timbaland bandwagon when he copied HIMSELF with the production of Ayo Technology. This is bad, but its Ashlee Simpson…what can be expected.
But he’s working with Celine Dion next. Should be…interesting.
My favorite Simpson is Maggie.
I’m almost positive this isn’t the actual music video. It’s the track over random Ashlee images.
Oh, and the song sucks.
The song sucks. Let’s just hope it’s a REALLY rough version and she changes a whole hell of a a lot.
but she did do a pretty good job copying Nelly Furtado’s infinitely superior voice, which is, I’m sure, exactly what Timbaland wanted her to do
Since older sis Jessica is the grand champion of what I like to call the “belching on pitch” style of singing, it seems that Ashlee, who can *almost* sing, has unfortunately been taking lessons from Jessica. I sincerely hope that’s the last time I hear her “Murder” a song like that.
“Decorating Cents” can be appalling. See if your mom will like “Color Splash” better. Always something interesting to learn from David. Oh, and Ashlee? She’s appalling too.
I don’t know who’s worse… Ass-lee or Jessica. I wish that they both would just drop off of the face of the earth.
Wow, that did hurt my ears!
By the way, the clip is not safe for work — I believe you can distinctly hear the “f” bomb!
Ugh, she used to be very pretty. SHe was different and unique (good unique, not back-handed compliment unique). Now she looks like every other blonde in L.A.
Never thought I’d hear a song about the joys of monkey masturbation. It’s also a good descriptor of her photo shoot.
Since when is Ashlee Jamaican?
Did she just say “I’ll be your sunshine concubine?” She also sounds like she’s just half a beat too late. h-o-t-m-e-s-s indeed.
The horror! The horror! That was awful. My ears hurt.
Yikes!!What an unlistenable piece of garbage. Granted, I’ve never been a fan of Ashlee but this really blows.
Why are these girls so popular? Pretty, I guess, but they belong in the same file folder as Paris, talentless yet famous for no apparent reason.
She sounds like she has peanut butter stuck in her throat so she’s “forced” to sing through her nose. Gag. How do people like this get recording contracts!?!?!?!
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