I really, really, really, really wanted to see Dragon Wars. The trailer had insane explosions, cars flying through the air, and a giant snake-like creature slithering up the side of the US Bank building in downtown LA! Doesn’t that sound amazingly awesome?!
Well, after seeing the movie last night, I can say it was awesome…for all the wrong reasons. My (unrealistically) high hopes were dashed pretty quickly. I will admit that the opening credits — which involves a camera panning over a 3D Asian scroll — were brilliant. But that’s where the good part ends. Here’s the quick story recap: A long time ago, a boy falls in love with a girl who has the mark of a dragon on her shoulder. An old dude tells boy he must sacrifice her to the good Imoogi (dragon) so the bad Imoogi won’t destroy the earth. Boy refuses, because he loves the girl, and his village is destroyed. Fast-forward 500 years, to present time. The old dude is now an antique dealer named Jack, and the boy (now going by the name Ethan), has a second chance to throw his love (Sarah) to the good Imoogi. Add to that the fighting that takes place involving the FBI, the police, and random others. Confused yet? Oh yeah, and it’s all a Korean legend.
It’s hard to pick the "best" parts of the movie, so I’ll just pick the "Oh my god, what the hell was that?" moments.
(1) The old lady trying to walk through a fence because she saw the bad guy do it. (She bounced off.)
(2) The bum screaming to an ambulance that splashed him with water…"YOU BUM!!" (Random!)
(3) All the screaming women throwing their hands up in the air. This leads to manyplates, medical papers, and/or bags getting air time. (This gets meevery time.)
(4) The military running into a cave to attack the badImoogi. After seeing the dragon, they run back outside, where halftheir crew is already DEAD! (How did that happen?!) Then the bad dudeswings his sword and the rest of them fall down, dead!!!! AMAZING!
(5) The zookeeper who witnesses the bad Imoogi throwing an elephant like itwas baby rattle. No one believes him, so he gets put in a straightjacket. But come to think of it, the bad Imoogi threw aroundlots of things — which was hilarious in its own right.
Seriously though, should you see this movie in the theater?Probably not. I think if you were busted high or drunk it’d beamusing, but I don’t condone that. Now, if this was on SciFi as atriple feature with Mega Snake and Ice Spiders, then it’d be cool. When it comes right down it, Dungeons & Dragons is Best Picture material compared to the dreck of Dragon Wars. Yeah, I said it.
So PopWatchers, did any of you live through this War?
Just call it by its real title:
GODZILLA!!!
I survived it, although barely. Thanks for mentioning that bum part though. What the hell was that? Totally stupid. Now my problem is trying to convince my dragon-loving friend to skip it too, although so far I’ve been unsuccessful. Any suggestions.
Not to be nitpicky, but I thought the whole point of “I saw it, so you don’t have to” was that the reviewer saw a flick that most people out there didn’t want to see for whatever reason…including the reviewer.
The fact that the reviewer actually wanted to see this crapfest (not that I have anything against crapfests, mind you) kinda takes away from the whole “taking a bullet for us” aspect of the piece.
Just my two cents.
Anyone heard of ‘Reign of Fire?’ Same concept but it didn’t look half as cheesy as this film (and I thought it was a decent action movie, besides the stupid way it ended). Why this had to be released is beyond me.
“Not to be nitpicky”, eh, Ceballos? A bit late for that, don’t you think? =)
But technically, you’re right: really, Marc should have titled this ‘I Saw It; You Don’t Have To’. Not that I was even CONSIDERING it, Marc!
i took my son, he thought it was great ( he is five, big monsters, go figure) i would watch it on sci fi if nothing else was on. the old lady walking into the fence was great though
You’re absolutely right Ellipsian, I’m busted…oh well.
Wow. that was exactly my thoughts as if i had written them. i too was fooled by the preview and then by the opening credits….i also thought you did pick out the very best parts! i’m not sure how this film made it into theatrical release. it screamed sci fi channel movie the whole way. reminded me of when i used to go with friends to purposely see the worst movies at the theater to laugh.
This had to be the worst edited movie EVER! By the end me and my friend were laughing and making wise cracks at the movie.
I’m actually curious if Korea had another version of the movie that wasn’t cut so bad.
Oh, and you missed the point of the swat team going into the cave. How did they know where to go? And why did they only bring swat troops to fight a monster snake?
Oh, and one other. I love the fact that they had a convient evil snake temple hidden in California.
The kids liked it, but it was like watching a bad episoide of Power Rangers. We were laughing out loud along with the older couple behind us.
Went to see it with my husband and 23 year old daughter. Walked out after 15 minutes because it was so bad. Went to see superbad and enjoyed it. First time I had ever walked out on a movie but we just couldn’t watch it.
Sounds like the best thing in the movie is the word Imoogi. Imoooooooogi! That’s fun to say.
I never thought I’d see a film that ripped off both “Terminator” and “Lord of The Rings” but here it is.This is exactly the kind of movie that was made for sitting around with a bunch of your friends making wiseguy remarks.All the Giant Monster stuff was decent, everything around it was stupid.
Why wasn’t this article titled “Dragon Wars lays an egg”?