Dear Michael Jackson,
On the occasion of your 49th birthday today, perhaps it’s time to take stock and realize that, if you want to stop being seen as merely a sad figure of scandal, it’s time to go back to your day job and record some hits. But how to accomplish this? Since this is your birthday, the P-Dubs and I will offer our advice in the form of a haiku, like this one:
Call on Timberlake,
Timbaland, even Jay-Z.
Winehouse? No, no, no.
Best wishes,
Gary Susman
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Wow Gary, I don’t know if I should applaud you or pity you for thinking this career can be revived.
I’ve always been a huge Michael Jackson fan, but Elvis Presley, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, and Jim Morrison have a better chance of having hits again than MJ. He’s waaaaaaay too far gone. I’m thinking Whitney Houston is almost at that point as well.
No baby dangling.
Stop hanging out with young boys,
and record something!
My daughter turns 12
Same day as MJ’s b-day
She is horrified
I can’t even remember how to penn a Haiku, but here goes
I love Black Mike,
ABC, it’s easy as 123
Oh light skinned Mike is cool,
You might even call him BAD
Here comes white Mike
Run, Run, Run
Remember when everyone thought Prince was the freak and Michael was nice and safe. I don’t know even if Michael was still remotely normal he could have a career at 49. On the oldies circuit maybe but not as a viable pop star.
Oops, forgot my haiku
Was a moonwalker
He is now whiter than Brooke
Go find your old nose
Happy Birthday Michael!!! Contrary to what other Popwatch readers believe I think you have a great chance at making a comeback just hurry up and release an album.
a haiku is a (usually) 3 lined poem, with 5 syllables on line 1, 7 on line 2, and 5 on line 3. Loved your poem though!!!
Happy birthday Michael!!!I think you`ve always been a great singer.Love your songs,especially Billy Jean,Beat it,Thriller!!!
Sweet Nose – where art thou?
Where once there was beauty true,
Now . . . only nostrils.
Please stop singing, Michael. You had amazing success in the 80’s and it’s all gone downhill from there. Just cherish the memories of classics like Thriller and Beat It! I was born after those songs were even made, and all my friends still rock out to them! Anyways, hope you’re not bankrupt. Or giving “Jesus Juice” to ANYONE. If you DO decide to make a comeback, I’m sure you’ll have a completely new look! (err, face/nose?) But anyway, work it gurl!
MJ, just beat it.
You do not thrill me anymore.
Are you black or white?
Poetic inspiration hasn’t hit me (yet) today, but thought I’d share this awesome MJ sketch from the old “Fry & Laurie” show as I try to think of a decent haiku…
Oh, Jackson Five boy,
Whatever happened to him?
Sad and scary now.
I can’t do a haiku today. It’s totally wierding me out that Michael Jackson and my mom have the same birthday.
Just creepy.
Thriller,
Bad,
Dangerous- to boys
“Life ain’t so bad at all, when you’re living off the wall”? Tell that to your career!!
Now eaze on down that road scarecrow!
seriously, dude
at least we still have thiller
it’s a frackin’ shame
alabaster skin
and a non-existent nose
brings pain to my eyes
bottle of “act-right”
plus a call from big momma
ghetto-pass, renewed
Michael, oh Michael
Once at the top of the world
How did it go wrong
The only thing i can think of that could make his comeback successful is to poke fun at himself and make a good cd that is current buy yet is still him. He needs to admit that he looks and acts weired.
A caricature
Career is in the toilet
He’s a sad story…
Two for one:
Could anyone look
more inhuman than you do?
It’s just disgusting.
If you really want
to get your career on track
stop sleeping with kids.
Happy Birthday Michael, You still have fans out here and we love you. I believe in you.
I may be an hour early. But happy 50th birthday Michael! F-u-c-k- the press your the best!!! Let the haters hate. You are a legend a healer, a man of all men! Happy birthday!!
I love you! My kids love you! The world ( most of it) Loves you!!!