Welcome to Newport Harbor — "an ocean-front paradise just north of Laguna Beach" — bitch. After watching the premiere of the new spinoff on MTV’s "Real Orange County" series, I’m a little unsure if I’m going to like it. Just how new can the drama get? Case in point: see the descriptions of the main cast below:
Chrissy (pictured): the girl next door, who could seriously be a doppelganger to Miley Cyrus
Sasha: Chrissy’s like BFF for, like, ever, OMG!
Grant: the partier/class clown
Chase: the ladies man who doesn’t really get along with Grant (probably because Grant has better hair. Just a guess.)
Taylor: Chase’s main squeeze, you know, when he’s not too busy flirting with everyone else
Allie: the tall one who steals boyfriends. She also used to date Chase (man, that boy gets around!)
Clay: the heartthrob who Chrissy has had a crush on forever, and the new object of affection for Allie.
The episode focused on the gang’s trip to Palm Springs and Chrissy’s struggle to get alone time with Clay. After an extremely awkward encounter with Chrissy’s parents at the hotel (oh, yes, her parents came along to guard her like a hawk, er, I mean, chaperon), it seemed like Clay’s interest in her got a little watered down. Then, of course, the show ended with vixen Allie going over to Clay’s house late night and… cut to credits.
Here are a few burning questions I had:
- Just how long can a conversation about chopsticks last?
- How many more times will Chrissy’s phone have to ring before someone chucks it into the ocean?
- Was anyone else annoyed by the way Allie’s tag-along Samantha said, "We’ve had, like, millions of boyfriends."?
- Was anyone else just generally annoyed with Samantha, period?
- If Chrissy’s parents are as strict as they seem, why oh why wouldthey ever let their little girl be the star of a reality show whereparties and boys tend to be the main focus?
- Was Taylor in last night’s episode at all or does she just happento blend in with the 50 or so other bleached blondes on the show?
- Finally, will you, loyal PopWatchers, continue to watch Newport Harbor? (Better yet: would you want to see a TV Watch on it?)
While I would hate for any of the poor EW contributers to be obligated to watch this show for an entire season, I do miss reading the snarky recaps. Same with the Real World this season. We’re only 2 episodes in, but there have already been countless opportunities to relentlessly mock this show! Starting with the ending of last nights episode: Trisha:”Do you like me as a person?” Isaac:”I don’t know yet”
I would rather see the footage of MTV telling Kendra and Cami (from last season’s LB) that they would not be the focus of this season’s lame adventures of incredibly spoiled and fake teens….but will still read the popwatch for this show for the laughs.
Yeah…what’s with no Real World recap? In just the first episode we have a blond-guy pledging loyalty to his girlfriend and by the end of the episode, he’s making out with roomie in the hot tub….while saying he wouldn’t cheat on his girl back home. Would love to read Whitney’s take on this group!
How do these shows work? These characters? actors? know the cameras are there. The situations are probably contrived and scripted. So, is it all about the drama and catfights? I know I’m not the prime demographic for this stuff. But, it seems a little superficial. Am I wrong?
Like, OMG! I’d rather give the Latvian Womens Swim Team a sponge bath and then gouge my eyes out with the aforementioned chopsticks.
It was pretty brutal. I think my IQ may have dropped. Nothing will ever be as good as the original. These people know exactly who they’re supposed to be playing and that’s it. Of course I’ll continue to watch it.
I know the pleasure of snarking, but MTV feels eyeballs are eyeballs, so even if we watch out of derision, we’re still watching. Take control. Stop watching. All of them, all the publicity hounds. End their miserable existence.
Or at least add Seth Cohen.
Ok am i going completely insane or are Laguna Beach and Newport Harbor BOTH supposed to be the “Real Orange County” and/or do all of these shows have the same exact opening montage with interchangeable abercrombie-model California kids set to the same Hillary Duff song?
i hated samantha too
who dated samantha&would they admit to it on tv?!?!How big of a whore is allie?any guesses?
Oh my God Caruso should be on this show! I smell emmy
get a life people.
I’m impressed, Lindsay, that you could tell them apart that long – I watched it on MTV.com and realized I was too old (after having watched most of Laguna Beach, if only out of boredom) when I had NO IDEA who was whom halfway through the show.
Ditto Mary and SJK. Please DO NOT do a TVWatch on this and do one on the Real World. This season actually is watchable, and I haven’t tuned in since RW New York (the second one)!
I was about to throw my TV out the window if I heard “DADdYYYY” one more time!
I totally understand chaperoning your kid on a hotel trip (someone ought to, those camera people sure aren’t stopping anything) but to call your kid every four seconds…. Daddy needs to get a life!