Snap Judgment: 'Trapped in the Closet,' Chapter 13

Kelly_lYesterday, Chapter 13, the first new installment of R. Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet since 2005, went up online at Thank the Lord it’s finally here. I’m with my colleague Chris Schonberger — when it comes to pop culture this summer, this is a bigger deal than Harry Potter. Trapped is an epic, maybe the first masterpiece anyone’s ever conceived for the YouTube ethos, and R., its genius, is so very brilliantly and inscrutably insane. He’s "crazier than a fish with titties," to borrow a line from his character Sylvester in this new episode. Is R. for real? Is he in on the joke? WHO KNOWS? That’s the beauty of it.

Plus, the thing’s so intricately conceived, not to mention hilarious. In this new episode, we follow Sylvester as he heads out with his brother-in-law Twan to do some business, and we also meet Rosie the Nosy Neighbor and her fat husband Randolph (also played by Kelly). Too soon to tell where these threads will take us, so for the time being luxuriate in the way that Kelly unspools his velvety yet ridiculous rhymes. Best part of Chapter 13 is when Rosie and Randolph are arguing, and Randolph says he hopes a pigeon’ll fly and "s—" on her face. "If it do, if it do," Kelly-as-Rosie sings in response, "I’m gonna wipe the s— on you!"

In reporting a First Look on the new chapters for the magazine a couple weeks back, I learned that coming up is a church-choir number that Kelly recorded all 50 vocal tracks for. In other words, in keeping with him doing every single voice on Trapped, he plays all 50 members of the choir. That will be nothing less than incredible. Dude is crazy. Or is he?

Comments (19 total) Add your comment
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  • Houstonian Jen in DC

    (Chapter 14 is up also)

  • Ceballos

    Ok, it’s official…he CANNOT be serious (Ummm, right?!)
    Also, Lebron James called and he wants his “Wise” LeBron costume back.
    Still, though I just got in the office, I already can’t wait to get home so I can LISTEN to this. (I’m working till 7 today though, ugh!)

  • Stacey

    Actually, haven’t we already met Rosie in a previous chapter? Around when Twan was getting shot? (I can’t believe I actually know that).

  • CJ Collier

    Now either R. Kelly has officially lost his mind or he is a genius on par with Machiavelli.

  • Jim

    thank you r. kelly. thank you.

  • Ceballos

    You’re right Stacey…I don’t remember what chapter it was (maybe 8 or something), but I’ll never forget Kellz singing:
    “Ro-sey (whoo!)/ the nosy neighbor” when she turned up at the end of one of the original chapters. Classic.

  • joey

    this crap is so retarded that i just have to laugh! A genius? hardly…this is more like a crappy eddie murphy comedy

  • Tom Strong

    Thanks for giving a pedo more attention. Don’t give him the publicity!

  • Sally

    Popwatch, why are you obsessed with R. Kelly? You seem to be the only ones.

  • Jean

    Despite my better judgment, I do think he’s brillant. My favorite parts of 13 and 14 are when the voice gets increasingly muted as Twan rolls up the window and the grill guy saying “word” out of the corner of his mouth.

  • Chris

    He is an untalented child preditor that needed to be in jail YEARS ago! He used the excuse of working with high school choirs as his own personal dating service.
    He is a child preditor and needs to be locked up. If it were boys he took advantage of, he would have been in jail long ago.

  • Raven_Moon

    Seriously? Brilliant? Seriously? Oh, Popwatch.

  • Jason

    Remember when EW used to be on the cutting edge of pop culture before it started crap like POPWATCH. I guess they had to give the interns something to do.

  • jason

    are you for real?!?!? this is total crap. r kelly is first of all no genius, second of all a pedephile, third of all, who does he think he is, eddie freakin murphy!?!?!? WTF!?!?! am i alone here?

  • n

    This almost doesn’t seem real. I am dreaming this. It is a hilarious nightmare.

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