If Star Wars IV: A New Hope does not count, then what’s the greatest fourquel — that is, third sequel — in movie history? That’s easy: Indiana Jones IV. Although Spielberg is still shooting it, and the movie doesn’t come out till next May, I already know it’s gonna be the best fourquel anybody’s ever seen. I’m a believer.
After all, the only competition I can think of off the top of my head is Thunderball, or maybe Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master. That’s because fourquels are tough. Even when they’re decent — a word that perfectly describes both Lethal Weapon IV (hey, I liked it!) and Live Free or Die Hard — they’re still not quite as good as the three movies that preceded them. Most fourquels, actually, are horrible — see Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, Jaws: The Revenge, The Next Karate Kid, etc.
Jurassic Park IV, to judge from what Bloody-Disgusting.com says it has uncovered about the upcoming production, looks like it will proudly carry on the hallowed tradition of fourquel suckage. The website reports that Sam Neill — who turned up for Jurassic Park III — is sitting this one out, but Laura Dern’s paleobotanist Ellie Sattler (pictured) will be back. What’s noteworthy is the claim that the movie is about how the government "has trained dinosaurs to carry weapons and use them for battle purposes." So velociraptors will be strapped, gangsta-style? No way. This can’t be true, can it? But if it is, T-Rex needs to travel exclusively via jet-pack.
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Wow, I hope the rumors about Jurrassic Park aren’t true. That’s sounds absolutely dreadful.
As for good “foruquels,” I rather liked “Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire.” Although, “Prisoner of Azkaban” remains my favorite of the series.
Is it just me? I always thought that dinosaurs’ god-given razor sharp teeth, switch-blade claws and gargantuan proportions were more intimidating than a gun! Plus, how do they get their non-opposable thumbs to hold the gun and pull the trigger????
Come on, Rocky IV?! It has Bridgette Nielson and an actor playing Gorbachev. It is so bad that it is amazing.
I’d argue that Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is the best movie in the series and best fourqual of all….
I’m with you Conor. That was the first one I thought of. Plus where else can you hear very bad Russian accents?
“If he dies, he dies.”
Isn’t “Batman & Robin” considered a fourquel? I actually thought it was better than “Batman Forever” with the non-expressive Val Kilmer and the double- whammy crazy guys Two-Face and Riddler.
How about Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire? I liked that movie and it was as good as the previous films.
“Live Free Or Die Hard” easily trounced the third film in that series, which sucked so badly that I have blocked its title and most everything about it from my memory.
I am, at this moment, down on my knees (figuratively, anyway) praying to whatever god is available that this is true, because c’mon, dinosaurs with guns? So. Freakin’. Awesome.
Come on…Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home was *awesome*. Great plot (save the humpback wales + time travel!), great comedy (Scotty talking into a computer mouse), and lots of great sci-fi (let’s sling-shot around the sun to travel back in time!). Anyway, it’s my favourite Star Trek movie and I’m insulted that the franchise was totally ignored.
Yeah that just seems too weird to be true.
Who cares? Laura Dern is finally back in the series. I’ll be there.
Here’s hoping they get a better director than Joe Johnston this time around.
That’s actually been a rumour for…well, right after JP3 was released. I remember a supposed “script review” surfacing on Ain’t It Cool News years ago, talking about genetically hybrid dinos with guns. The cool thing was that allegedly opened with pteranadons (the flying ones) appearing at a Little League game!
I remember reading an article a looong time ago that suggested Kiera Knightley was attached to Jurassic Park 4…I guess (and kind of hope) that fell through.
Anyways, You know it’s only a matter of time until Disney comes out with Cinderella 4, and it will add to the “fourquel suckage” too.
But, as for a fourquel that isn’t terrible, I have to agree that Lethal Weapon 4 is completely elevated by Chris Rock. I mean when he talks about losing his cell phone, it’s pretty hilarious.
Oh, yeah, and Laura Dern must be pretty hard up for work these days. I guess she spends too much time in trees…
I agree. Rocky IV KICKS ASS! The Russian is a hottie and Brigette Nelson is ice cold. WAAAY better than Rocky III.
No.
Star Trek IV? That has to be on the list.
Goblet of Fire is a great choice, and Thunderball would be my definite fave, though I’m still partial to Alien: Resurrection. I know it’s kind of divisive among fans of the series, but it’s stylistically unique, has the great cast of characters from Jeunet’s films, and at the very least it doesn’t feel like it was made for some corporate shill to make a quick buck on a movie that might as well be direct-to-DVD. (I’m talking to you, Alien vs. Predator)
Eh…i’m not sure if “Goblet of Fire” is a true fourquel because it’s just part four in a planned series (as opposed to it being a misguided attempt to cash in on a fading franchise, as it usually the case).
By that criteria, it’s clearly Rocky IV! You have James Brown singing “Living in America”, a classic training montage, Dolph Lundgren at the height of his powers and Rocky’s brilliant “if i can change, and you can change, everyone can change” speech.
Live Free or Die Hard was good (and, hello, Die Hard with a Vengeance kicked ass!), Rocky IV is classic (he symbolically beat the crap out of communism people, come on!), and Star Trek IV is also worthy. Superman IV was just plain bad and Batman and Robin was abominably terrible (ice to meet you!). I think Indy 4 will be great, and I’m secretly kinda spazzing out about the prospect of dinos with guns wreaking havoc.
Laura Dern in Jurassic Park IV? Brilliant! I totally get it now. Each of the main characters of the original JP are getting their own exclusive sequel in the franchise… Jeff Goldblum in JP2, Sam Neil in JP3… and those two meddling kids are gonna headline JP5!
jurassic park 3 wasn’t awful but the ending seemed rushed and sudden. i do like the idea of all the actors from the first one being in their own individual sequels in the series. they will have to do something different to bring people in though. gun toting dinos though might not be it. wasn’t there a toy line series of some kind at one time where the dinosaurs wore weapons??
If you go back to some of the series from the 30’s and 40’s you’ll find some part fours that were pretty decent. “The Shadow of the Thin Man” and “Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon” are both good flicks.
That is really old news…like 2004? (the dinos with guns part, not the Laura Dern part) I thought they scrapped that already? Please don’t ruin my childhood anymore, thanks. JP3 was terrible enough.
Laura Dern is hard for work? Yeah right. She’s one of the best actresses around (check out “Inland Empire”). Clearly she needs to make a paycheque to be able to continue to do great indie work.
And, I’ll happily see her in JP again. She was my favorite actor in the original.
Rocky IV!! I just don’t know what it is, but I never get tired of that one. The music, the fighting, the speech- all great.
One of my favortie clips from Famliy Guy is the one where Brian & Stewie does a spoof of the “Hearts on Fire” workout montage. I got way too excited when I saw it.
I hope this movie won’t be as craptastic as it sounds because John Sayles is penning it. He rocks! Don’t disappoint me, John!
Don’t forget about Alien: Resurection. That movie wasn’t too good. I’m going to go out on a limb and say T4 is going to be good, even though it hasn’t come out yet. I have faith since the first 3 were good. Bring back Arnold!
Oh yeah, and “Jordan”, the guy who said that Batman and Robin was better than Batman Forever and had the nerve to say ANYTHING negative about Val Kilmer, should be shot and killed for saying, not to mention, thinking that! Oh, lord. What has the world come to if someone actually liked Batman and Robin!?!?!?!?!??!!?? Oh, the humanity, the humanity of it all!!!!
this is either gonna be one of the best action sci-fi movies ever made or an unbelievable pile of steaming dino poop. At least Cuba Gooding’s not in it, so there’s at least some hope.