Ever wonder who gets paid to come up with poetry like "This summer Jason Bourne comes home"? Then check out Portfolio.com’s illuminating article about movie tagline writers. It introduces us to a sushi-loving fellow named Jason Byers, who earns a comfortable six-figure income reducing movies to their punny, catchy essences. "This relationship is going to be a real mother," from Monster-in-Law? "It’s time to kick some asteroid," from Armageddon? Those are his.
If you think about it, a guy like Jason must make more money per published word than any other scribe in history. Lucky dog. And it got me wondering: who and where is the unsung hero who came up with "In space, no one can hear you scream" from Alien (pictured)? That, arguably, is the most famous poster tagline of all time, if we (in the interests of fairness) discount any line taken directly from the movie itself, like "Long ago, in a galaxy etc etc etc" and "They’re heeere…" and "Houston, we have a problem…"
Keeping in mind this restriction, what are your favorite movie taglines? I have two. See if you can guess which movies they’re from. (Answers, and more irresistible taglines, after the jump.) The first is old, and was the basis for a riveting Final Jeopardy question from ten or more years ago: "When these hands point straight up…the excitement starts!" Here’s the second one, and my absolute favorite: "The story of two people who got married, met, and then fell in love." Who guessed both of these?
The first tagline is from High Noon; the second is from Green Card — and it’s so good, it’s like they thought of it first, then concocted a whole movie around it, don’t you think? As for other classic poster hooks, I gotta respect "If adventure has a name, it must be Indiana Jones" (Temple of Doom), "Can two friends sleep together and still love each other in the morning?" (When Harry Met Sally), and "He’s a man of peace in a savage land…Suburbia" (The ’Burbs). On a more serious note, I also endorse "The first casualty of war is innocence" from Platoon. What about you, P-Dubbers? Throw out some crazy ones, please.
And before we go, one more great one: "Detective Harry Callahan. He doesn’t break murder cases. He smashes them."
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“The story of a man who could only count to one” – Talledega Nights
“Justice needs a new program.” From Virtuosity. I think it’s the line’s sheer stupidness that I find so compelling. I wish Denzel Washington ran around shouting this line at the top of his lungs all movie long. THAT I would have loved.
Alien is probably the best one, but I have always liked the tagline for Kill Bill: “Uma Thurman will kill Bill”. Short and sweet, and who wouldn’t want to see a movie with that tagline?
“Before a lifetime of adventure, he had the adventure of a lifetime” Young Sherlock Holmes: I remember seeing the poster as a little kid, and the tagline gave me this incredible feeling of excitement. To this day, when i go to the movies, it’s to see The adventure of a lifetime.
“He didn’t find his dreams… his dreams found him” The Last Starfighter. I loved this movie growing up!!
“His love is real. But he is not” — A.I. (Artificial Intelligence)
“Nice guys finish last. Meet the winners.” Any guesses?
Is the second one from Green Card?
Cheesiest – “Crime is the disease. Meet the cure.” Cobra.
I *think* this was a poster tagline, but I’m not 100% sure:
“You will believe a man can fly.” – Superman the First
D – Dirty rotten scoundrels
The Good, The Bad & The Ugly:
For three men, the civil war wasn’t hell – it was practice!
“Turn Back the Clock, and You’re History”. From Timecop with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Mindless action.
Not sure if it was a tag-line for The Last Starfighter (according to Katie, it isn’t) but the back of the VHS box (which I own) has this as it’s first line: “Can a boy from a trailer park in the sticks find happiness as an intergalactic warrior?” I think if you went to a movie studio today with that pitch alone you’d get a $50 million budget for the movie, with or without a script.
“Family isn’t a word…it’s a sentence.” – The Royal Tenenbaums
the phrase “This time, it’s personal” keeps coming to mind, but I don’t know where it actually originated from.
Jaws 4?
“An undercover cop. In a class by himself”. From Kindergartern Cop. Get it? ha ha
From MIB…..”Protecting the Earth from the scum of the Universe”.
“Do you like fish? Well, he likes you too…”
From “Jaws”.
I’m pretty sure “This time it’s personal” came from “Jaws: The Revenge” (aka “Jaws 4″).
Meanwhile, say what you will about the movie (which looks awful), but you’ve got to love “One nation…Underdog.”
That’s a whole other topic: what movies had great posters, taglines or trailers even though the movies themeslves stunk?
CLUE: It’s not just a game anymore.
I liked “Something has survived” from “The Lost World: Jurassic Park”. Made it sound creepy and exciting, which it was, until the last half hour.
“Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water…” From Jaws 2 or 3.
Dead Again: How many times can you die for love?
Not the greatest movie, but I always liked that line.
“You’ll laugh because they’re not your family. You’ll cry because they are” From the film “Stuart Saves His Family”.
Here’s another one from Armageddon:
“The Earth’s darkest day will be man’s finest hour!” How’s that for lyrical cheese?
I agree that Jaws 2 is great. I also like “Be afraid, be very afraid” from the Fly remake.
Cheesy “They should’n't have put him in the water if they didn’t want him to make waves” from Striking Distance a truly, horrible action film with Bruce Willis and Sarah Jessica Parker.
I have been completely unable to find and actually see it but the 1986 film Everytime We Say Goodbye with Tom Hanks has a wonderfully romantic one that goes “In a time and a world of impossible love, he would accept nothing less than everything.”
1. “They’ve only met once, but it changed their lives forever”
- The Breakfast Club, 1985
2. “Fast cars, fast girls, fast carrots…fast carrots?! It’s awesome! It’s totally awesome!”
-Fast Times at Ridgemont High, 1982
“There’s been a grave misunderstanding” – Corpse Bride, which was really just one big death/dying pun in itself
“Check in. Relax. Take a shower.” – The Psycho remake. Perfect because everyone knew what was coming. I think they also did something like “Don’t worry. We’ll leave the light on” or something like that, which was also great, even if the film wasn’t.