This week in dubious movie ideas

Boys_lAnd you thought making a Monopoly movie was a silly idea. From the Dept. of How the Hell Are They Going to Make a Movie Out of This? comes word that Disney plans to adapt The Dangerous Book for Boys. It’s a parodic how-to volume with no real plot or characters, but it’s a best-seller, so therefore, it must be adapted for the screen. The one bright spot of this story is that the producer is Scott Rudin, who has a long history of turning seemingly unadaptable literary properties into movies. If he could make a film out of The Hours, he can probably handle Dangerous.

As for Monopoly, Ridley Scott tells the Los Angeles Times how he’s sure he’ll be able to turn the venerable board game into a funny and "rather exciting" film. (It helps that he’s thinking of casting Scarlett Johansson — is she going to play the shoe or the iron?) Again, Scott’s one of Hollywood’s most inventive directors, so if anyone can turn this dubious idea into a viable movie, it’s the guy who made Alien, Blade Runner, Thelma & Louise, and Gladiator. Still, they’d better give Candy Land to Tarantino and Hungry Hungry Hippos to Scorsese, or all bets are off.

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  • Greg B

    What about the idea that The Sims is slated for a movie remake. A game about nothing being adopted for the screen. My brain hurts now.

  • Joslyn

    Well, wasn’t Queen Bees and Wannabes a non-fiction book that was “adapted” into Mean Girls? Granted, I haven’t read either of the books in question here, so this could be more of a stretch.

  • D

    I heard they’re making a movie out of the coffee table book about coffee tables…

  • Stephanie T.

    Joslyn, that’s accurate. I would have to say that “Mean Girls”, “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”, “Saturday Night Fever (which was a news article)” and Woody Allen’s take on “Everything that you’ve always wanted to know about sex (but were afraid to ask)” are the only examples of non-fiction material that were decent films. And for the record, “Clue” was made into a film, but it was not a fantastic one.

  • F McDonald

    Okay, seriously, Im not a screen writer, but I have at least 3 or 4 original ideas that could actually make interesting movies instead of these re-tooled retro/nostalgia money grabs.
    Cant we all just agree to pass on this junk? Sure, Pirates of the Carribean was fun, but see what our complacency gave us in return – two horrible sequels. How about Rocky & Bullwinkle? Garfield? Underdog? Seriously, there’s a bloody Alvin and the Chipmunks movie coming out!
    Hollywood – just surprise us for once, make something new. Im not saying throw out all the old cliche’s; I like superheroes and explosions… that doesnt mean I need a another X-Men film or another Die Hard, understand?

  • Stephanie T.

    Actually “Underdog” was really the best of the “Jay Ward cartoons made into a full length film” series. I can’t say so much for Jim Belushi’s acting and I think that Jason Lee was a bad choice for Shoeshine’s voice because it became “My Name is Earl, the underdog” but overall, the script was not half bad.
    The trailer for Alivin and the Chipmunks is gross, plus a rodent dropping is not as big as a rasin. I have had gerbiles.

  • JT

    Next up… Tic Tac Toe: The Movie

  • furry_tom

    RE: Actually “Underdog” was really the best of the “Jay Ward cartoons made into a full length film” series.
    I think George of the Jungle has garnered better reviews, but I’m unwilling to watch either of the movies to gauge their quailty for myself.
    I like the coffee table coffee table book movie, but I’d rather watch a movie based on the J. Peterman catalog. I want to see Harrison Ford in an Urban Sombrero.

  • Stephanie T.

    The J Peterman catalog. lol.
    In this day and age since it’s the teen EMO/IPod age I would not be surprised to see an Urban Outfitters movie.

  • ZF

    It isn’t even good as a book. I realize it may be blasphemous to say that, since it is apparently a huge hit. I looked through it because I was considering buying it for my nephew (age 9). The how-tos come off not as dangerous, but more like sleep-inducing. A list of state capitals? I’d like to see how Ridley Scott makes that into compelling cinema.

  • Houstonian Jen in DC

    ZF, I actually disagree with you. I liked the book. Half of these kids barely know what state they live in, let alone all fifty states. It’s good they can get some knowledge in their brains…and then learn how to make a go-cart. Plus, the book doesn’t talk down to kids. It uses language where they may need to ask a parent or look in a dictionary (horror!) to understand how to make something interesting.

  • Houstonian Jen in DC

    All I know is that if I ever hear a movie trailer begin with “In a world…” and end with “…Connect Four: Red vs. Black”, I think I will drop dead in the movie theater from shock and shame.

  • LeapDayBaby

    Ok…if Tarantino gets Candy Land, can John Woo have Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots? :)

  • JB

    Best movie/movie idea I have seen lately is the indy “Last Man Running” about an average guy who becomes a Demolition Derby Car driver. I saw clips of it on YouTube.

  • ryan

    i think you shood make godzilla 2

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