By now you’ve probably heard. After serving only five days of her jail sentence (thanks, Sheriff Baca!), Paris Hilton will serve the rest of her term at home due to "medical reasons" that sources close to her family (ew!) say was some sort of rash. Which brings out the angry poet in me…
Paris, how was jail?
Knitting circle’s a bitch, huh?
You’ll always be ours
Wait, who am I kidding? She’s nowhere close to haiku-worthy. Shall we try a limerick?
There once was a "socialite" so jank
Her name was synonymous with "skank"
Came down with some pimples
They made her life simple
She’s at home with some s— on her ank
As a nation weeps, write your own ditties below.
addCredit(“The Great Muppet Caper: Everett Collection”)