Merch that will make your Spider-sense (or something) tingle

Maryjane_lToo bad the Mary Jane action figure pictured here (and clearly modeled more after the MJ of the Spidey comics than after Kirsten Dunst) didn’t make the rounds a few weeks ago. (Is "action" even the right word for a figurine whose definition of "action" is hand-washing her fella’s superheroic Underoos?) It could have made this hilariously appalling list of the worst Spider-Man tie-in merchandise. But at least it inspired this turnabout-is-fair-play parody. (Which is probably NSFW, and probably not safe if you’ve just eaten, either.)

Comments (87 total) Add your comment
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  • Ceballos

    Wow…just…wow. A truly slutty action figure
    There’s just so much hilariously wrong with that action figure that I don’t even know where to start. Is this an entire collection. For example, is there another action figure where MJ is wearing short shorts and making pancakes for Peter Parker?

  • SpaceCat85

    As unintentionally funny as that is, I still think the “Spidey Fisherman” has it beat as far as bad and pointless Spiderman tie-ins go:
    http://www.i-mockery.com/shorts/spiderman-stupid/default.php

  • Anonymous

    it’s actually not an really action figure toy. it’s a $125 statue.

  • Livia

    You guys should show the rear view of the statue. It’s even worse when you see that there’s a huge rip in the seat of her jeans, revealing… Well, revealing what you’d expect.
    Also, she’s barefoot.

  • V.M.L.

    So what? Its just a statue aimed at MJ-fanboys. (Such statues are common in anime fandom too.)

  • Dr. Poohgas

    That 10 worst tie-ins is pretty bad. It bags on Spidey boxers as being an ultimate in geekdom. Now, when you consider that there are Spidey tighty-whities … that’s a whole ‘nother story.
    My wife actually bought me Spidey boxers that said “My Spidey Sense is Tingling” on them. But then again, she is pretty much a geek like myself.

  • Stephanie Travitsky

    I am sorry but I don’t get the thong and the pants style at all. It is not cool, and I’d probably feel the same way if a hot guy wore a thong and low pants.

  • Ned

    Looks pretty cool to me.

  • Vera

    So lets see…washing Spidey’s uniform while barefoot, wearing a pearl necklace, ripped jeans and a thong showing.
    I suppose it *could* be more offensive if she was obviously in a kitchen and looked pregnant but, as it is, the statue is awful. Way to go Marvel…

  • No Brand Woman

    This is a terribly sexist statue. Not only does she have her underwear sticking out (I just don’t see the appeal, guys) and posing like a bimbo, but she’s barefoot and doing Spiderman’s laundry?
    But anime and comic book statues of female characters are degrading to women almost as a general rule. That’s not to say there aren’t some really great ones out there, but would it kill them to leave somethin to the imagination sometimes?

  • maya

    I particularly love that she’s wearing the most low-cut shirt possible (in the pics of various angles). And that there are actual pics of the various angles!

  • rob

    gary, there are some of us out there that much prefer the parody version and would lose our lunch over the real version. yet we have to see the real version splashed on the page and not hidden in a link.

  • rob

    gary, there are some of us out there that much prefer the parody version and would lose our lunch over the real version. yet we have to see the real version splashed on the page and not hidden in a link.

  • Ep Sato

    Feh, statues of hot women aimed at the “guys who’ve never dated a real woman” market are standard fare in the lucrative sci fi and Comic book collectible scene. You think anyone collects the female action figures for any other reason? Exempting maybe the super edition Elektra, most female superhero figures feature limited articulation but plenty of curve appeal.
    And the worst spider man product is that web shooter the kids love. That gook gets everywhere!

  • Chloe fan

    I can’t believe in this day and age, a major company still has the nerve to put out something so insulting to women. That is shameful. Marvel must be a trashy company to allow something like that. It’s very offensive.

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