So this morning, I came across a story in Variety that Shaquille O’Neal is set to star in a new ABC reality series in which he’ll help Florida schoolchildren in their quest to lose weight, and, um, zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
HEY, WAKE UP! I know, the Shaq-helps-kids concept makes the butterfly land on my hand, too. But it also got me thinking about how many celebreality opportunities the networks are missing. I’d love to see a show that follows the day-to-day life of a talented but underappreciated one-hit wonder, like Deee-Lite’s Lady Miss Kier (pictured), to see what life is like after fame fades away. Does Kier need to work some kind of 9-to-5 to support herself, or does she cover her automobills with "Groove Is in the Heart" residuals and Gay Pride appearances across the global village? What’s the response from crowds when she tours across Turkey and Estonia? Is she really as wild and wacky as the messages she leaves on her MySpace page? Sample: "My mission is to cure people’s boredom and my own and remind us that the outer planets are the most glamor-us. Pluto is still a planet no matter what they call it. I can turn an old rag into a runway look in ten seconds. I can resuscitate old forgotten trax that command you to drag your tired ass to look lively on the dancefloor. I can walk on fire. I can rise above the B.S. and find myself in a better place. I can relaxercise, pick up the phone and order a delivery in minutes. I can tell you the name of my congressperson. I can turn from a caterpillar to a butter-fly."
Tell me this woman does not deserve her own series! And tell me which celebrity you’d give a reality show to if you ran Hollywood!
Michael, I love you. We must have been close in another lifetime. We have so much in common, pop-culturally speaking. And, now that you have finally included your picture, I say we would make a smashing gay duo/ Let’s do lunch?
I’d give a reality series to one Michael Slezak.
P.S. I’m looking for an internship, I’m a journalism major, any way to help out your biggest fan?
Gary Busey! Because I don’t have nearly enough acronyms in my life. Also, he’s genius.
Deee-Lite’s Lady Miss Kier should have been way more popular and well known for her own individual style. Remember that cat suit she wore on Grove Is In the Heart? Loved her glasses and outfit!
Hi Slezak! My vote is Ann-Margret, cause, you know, why not?
Anna Nicole. Just dig her up, prop her up there. Won’t be able to tell the difference.
Lady Ms. Kier= de-groovie!!! Just checked out her MySpace page- now if I could just figure out where my copy of World Clique is!
No one derservers 24/7 broadcast than other than the delicouSLY deGROGEous Lady Miss Kier. And may I add she still make my heart do butterfyl flutters!
Bjork. ‘Nuff said.
no one has even come close.
Isuck Washington won an NAACP Image Award for his brave protrayal of black man who hates homo’s.
Ole’ Isuch has a lot of sucking to do to get his street cred back. After this show, can his show Mammy, Sondra, keep his career going? And while I’m not hatin’, everyone knows what I mean. Rock On, Izzy! (Katherine are you too white for ABC?)
Duke,
While I understand you are mad at Isiah Washington, and you are entitled to your feelings etc. Are you talking about the network ABC? Because the percentages of minorities (all of them) on ABC do not crack 5%, so it must be another network in planet you think Katherine Heigl is too white for.
Also, while I strongly believe Isiah Washington should not have said those words (I actually don’t think he should have thought it) but the gay and lesbian community should focus its anger on the reigious right and the 1 million people that ran out to buy Ann Coulter’s book last weekend. Isiah Washington is not the reason homosexuals cannot marry and adopt in some states. It is the American public, of which 67% are white. Redirect your anger to get results otherwise it is wasted energy.
I just find it hysterical that Shaq’s going to help someone lose weight.
Bruce Campbell, not because he needs a career resuscitation, but because a show following him around would most likely be hilarious.
I agree with Thwarted. Gary Busey needs his own network that follows him around 24/7. Harry Dean Stanton would also be a good one.