Producer Jerry Bruckheimer recently confirmed the longstanding rumor that Keith Richards will indeed be appearing in Pirates of the Carribean III. And now, we’ve got our hands on Richards’ on-location contract rider listing the perks that the Rolling Stones guitarist and legendary, uh, bon viveur needs in his trailer. Well, okay, we haven’t really got our hands on it -– but if we had, we figure it would read something like this:
KEEF’S PIRATES III RIDER
- A dozen patterned silk rugs featuring no fewer than five cigarette burns per square foot.
- A sign which reads: "Remember, Keith, the pirates are actors, not hallucinations."
- A skull-shaped ashtray.
- A skull-shaped jacuzzi.
- An actual skull.
- Two assistants with exotic and/or sinister nicknames (ie "Moroccan" Dave, "Razors" McGinty, and so forth)
- Six pints of "uncontaminated" blood.
- A wheatgrass pulper and selection of fresh fruit (only joking -– Keith, of course, hasn’t actually eaten anything since 1972).
- A pair of snakeskin boots or, if unavailable, a pair of snakes and a large knife
- A fully qualified bandana-wrangler.
- A dartboard decorated with a still photograph of Mick Jagger in Freejack.
- A lawyer.
Monsieur Collis,
You’re supposed to say BON VIVANT, not bon viveur. You get C-. Please change it.
Merci!
You forgot the pot.
One ounce of Northern Lights Cannabis Indica.
One pack of “Bamboo” brand rolling papers
One Skull shaped gold trim ashtray
One book of blue tip matches
A bathtub
100 gallons of yogurt
a Rolling stones logo butter dispenser
Sharon Reed a rayocom reporter in
cleve. oh. has been spreading Hiv
as alter high class call girl.
she and an ex. producer have stolen
a book Normal.net. and started
phony Church under alias in Penn.
I’d say something about a nubile young female for ritual sacrifice, but this is a family blog…
In keeping with the theme of the first two movies, d’ya think ole Keith will turn out to be undead? Wouldn’t be too much of a stretch.
Lame…
Pictures of Keith in his ‘Pirates’ getup are already circulating the web. There is one where he is standing with Johnny Depp and one other cast member. This is old news by at least a couple of weeks now. What took them so long to confirm?
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