Dear Saturday Night Live:
I would have written this letter to you on Monday, but I didn’t want to sully the national holiday with my rage. And I have rage, Saturday Night Live – oh yes, I have rage.
About this time last week, I posted a little walk-up to your 2007 season, making sure to note the creative resurgence you experienced last fall. It was true! "D–k in a Box" aside, there were plenty of stand-out moments and talented guest stars: Hugh Laurie! My Chemical Romance! The always-genius Alec Baldwin! So how excited was I last Saturday night to switch over to your fine program after I watched the *#@&%! Colts continue their boring run of playoff wins? SO EXCITED!! And when Jake Gyllenhaal kicked into his career-making rendition of "And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going," why, I damn near clapped my hands together with glee. You were back, Saturday Night Live, and your momentum had not flagged!
Until. Until we arrived at a sketch that your NBC website is referring to as "Trump Rips Rosie." (Scroll down this page to watch.) In this sketch, basically a chance for Darrell Hammond to show off his creepy-good Donald Trump impersonation, you used your many talented cast members as "reporters" to interview GoldenHair at a fake press conference. It’s a tried and true set-up, and provided plenty of comedy in the early moments. I especially enjoyed your use of the word "sasquatch."
BUT THEN. THEN, Saturday Night Live, Amy Poehler (pictured) stood up. And acted like a ditz. And identified herself as an "Entertainment Weekly reporter." Named Debbie. Debbie Cuntsler.
Um… WTF, Saturday Night Live?? How am I not supposed to take that personally?? As EW’s designated Apprentice correspondent, how am I not suppose to view that as a direct assault upon all that I am?? What have I ever done to you, Saturday Night Live??I have given you the best years of my life!! I TiVo you faithfully!! Iuse your classic lines in conversation, I refer you to my friends, I’meven nice to your publicist!! And now this?!?
Sigh. I have to rethink this, Saturday Night Live, our wholerelationship. If I were Stephen Colbert, you would be on notice. If Iwere the Hulk, I would be angry, and I would smash. But since I’m justme, Whitney Pastorek, all I can do now is cry a silent tear, and ask myarmy of PopWatchers to support me in a boycott of your televisionprogram until I get an apology.
(Of course, we will all have to watch your program to see if youapologize, and, you know, I don’t want to miss AFI this weekend… butI’m boycotting IN HERE. [points to heart])
Where’s the love,
w
PS: Yes, I know, I didn’t see the Patriots on Saturday. My rage has blinded me to the truth. Sorry. Have revised the above to gripe about the Colts instead.
Um, why would you take that personally? Who else would cover The Donald’s news conference? I don’t think anyone from Time magazine or Better Homes and Gardens would be prone to be there and ask a question. I think it was taken the wrong way. Get a grip.
sorry whitney, but Jake coersed me into watching SNL again…
Whit, as a devoted niblet and duckling, I am offended on your behalf. I, too, shall boycott on the inside until requested apology is received.
Whitney -
Nice cute post! I am loving MOST of SNL these days…but it’s good to keep them in check!
Ya Sioux? What are you Cherokee? What was the name of that skit and does anyone know if it is online?
Whitney,
Sudan
Iraq
New Orleans
kinda makes your “problem” seem rather small, doesn’t it?
(in other words…it’s entertainment reporting, not brain surgery!)
That was very funny Whitney. But I don’t think most idiots are gonna get that you’re joking. I loved Jake Gyllenhal’s performance. I now tune in for the opening monologue by the guest star and then go out for the night. I mean, it’s late Saturnday night in New York city, surely I would have been things to do than stay in for the night. I have never in my life seen a full Saturday Night life episode. so I’ll take your word for it that it’s funny.
Come on. Other than Variety (“where reporters earn $28 thousand a year to talk about what the popular kids are doing”) EW is probably the most love/hate magazines in the industry. Family Guy had a cast member break an EW reporter’s neck once, Drawn Together devoted an entire episode to the ‘F’ you gave them, and folks make snarky “Entertainment Weekly” jokes in pretty much every sitcom.
What is more, EW (and Popwatch in particular) feels no shame in jabbing and dissing folks when their stuff sucks, and egos are sensitive. So Whitney, I’d say welcome to the big leagues. Just as we all make fun of Dane Cook, Fedex, etc, we can expect the folks we make fun of to use their powers to dis us back.
Hey man, Oprah took it in stride when Chappelle wanted to be her Baby Daddy, so don’t be offended if a joke’s written at your expense.
Bill, I hope your post is a joke that didn’t quite come across properly. Because you understood that Whitney’s post is not meant to be taken seriously, don’t you?
Look on the bright side, Whitney: If SNL really wanted to ridicule you, they’d have mentioned your “Studio 60″ Katrina musicians gaffe.
Was this really necessary? Seriously, what a waste of Popwatch space. Get over yourself, Whit.
That was a very funny post…and everyone should know by now that Popwatch would never seriously hate like that.
Bill, you are a moron. Get over yourself
Well, if it’s any consolation, most people I know have been boycotting SNL for the last few years unconsciously. I haven’t watched most of this season either, I’m not that much of a glutton for punishment, but I was lucky enough to see “D–k In a Box” when it first aired.
Whitney, another attempt at humor falls flat on its face. You were ridiculously obnoxious filling in for Josh on Amazing Race TV Watch. That’s all I know you from. So just be glad SNL even acknowledged you. Your name should be Whiney, oh poor you!
Why aren’t more people realizing that Whitney is making light of the dig by SNL and not really calling for a boycott? And where’s this week’s Chart Flashback? I look forward to those at the beginning of each week.