Hang on to your souls, PopWatchers… because VH1 is trying to crush them! No, seriously. The erstwhile video channel has greenlit a reality show in which four boy-band also-rans — N*Sync’s Chris Kirkpatrick, 98 Degrees’ Jeff Timmons, LFO’s Rich Cronin and Color Me Badd’s Bryan Abrams — will live together and try to form, for lack of a better term, a chart-topping man-band. (We’re sure it’s just a coincidence that the channel has also just greenlit a scripted series called I Hate My 30’s, which Variety describes as a show "dealing with the trauma ofturning 30 for people who’ve accomplished very little with their lives.")
That said, I totally just composed the quartet’s comeback hit. Sing it to the tune of Justin Timberlake’s "SexyBack" (click here if you want musical accompaniment) and watch the kidz go krazee!
We’re bringin’ tragic back
We’re so washed up that we will work for snacks
We all like Popeye’s but Chris likes Big Macs
You best look elsewhere if you like six-packs
(Don’t look at our abs!)
[Bridge]
Timberlake
Yes he’s our homeboy, so is Nick Lachey
We knew Lance Bass before he said "I’m gay"
Spell badd with two Ds, that is just our way
(Take it to the chorus!)
[Chorus]
"Summer Girls"
That was a hit
LFO
Now you know
Survey says we should get a clue
What would you do?
Career’s all done?
Head to VH1
And get your tragic on
Comments (1-15) of 24 Add your comment
Here’s a radical idea. Show old videos for an hour. I’d watch that.
mike, you need vh-1 classic. they show old videos most of the time. check your local listings.
Like we need more boy band has beens holding up signs that say:”will pose for food”. Can we get members of Wet,Wet,Wet,and Take That in there too? At least Gary Barlow could carry a note. Please. Everyone I have two words: THE TUBE. All videos all the time.
Yet another Popwatch wish granted! I had asked for the reunion of the lamest of the lame dudes in one super lame band, and here they are. Thank you Popwatch, for making my pop culture dreams come true. Now, find me an animator for my “Senator Darth Vader” series and a buyer for my scooter stereos and all my wishes will have come true…
I suppose you do know that this was done in England last year and its members included one of the losers from New Kids on the Block…can´t remember the name of the group they formed but it tanked…why do they think it will be successful here??? GRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
i hate that i was able to sing that without musical accompaniment. thanks michael!
this was so hilarious and i could sing along with musical accompaniment quite easily. I’ll be singing “get your tragic on” all weekend now.
That was hilarious, Michael!
Damn! That was funny and yet so tragic at the same time.
I used to be a fan of VH1C, but that channel has been run into the ground. They no longer show videos all the time.:( Now it is mostly documentaries, made for VH1 movies, and basically a load of junk we have seen a zillion times.
As for a reality show about has been boy band stars (these guys were actually stars at one time?), this is another one of those concepts that does not appeal to me. I wonder how big the check was for this humiliation?
YOU TUBE ROCKS!!!!!!
So does that mean ‘NSYNC isn’t getting back together?
You all are so cynical! What I say is Chris Kirkpatrick is Effie White,and this is his time to stick it to Deena Jones (Justin T.) Who’s with me? signed, Hopeless Romantic
Think maybe they’ll actually sing this time instead of lip-synching like they used to? Snap!
I think its no coincidence that the same people that listen to that music would watch reality shows.
Omigosh!! Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick and Jeff Timmons (and some other guys) are going to be on TV? I knew 2007 was going to rock! Whoohoo!! Seriously — I’m totally in love with those guys.