Hang on to your souls, PopWatchers… because VH1 is trying to crush them! No, seriously. The erstwhile video channel has greenlit a reality show in which four boy-band also-rans — N*Sync’s Chris Kirkpatrick, 98 Degrees’ Jeff Timmons, LFO’s Rich Cronin and Color Me Badd’s Bryan Abrams — will live together and try to form, for lack of a better term, a chart-topping man-band. (We’re sure it’s just a coincidence that the channel has also just greenlit a scripted series called I Hate My 30’s, which Variety describes as a show "dealing with the trauma ofturning 30 for people who’ve accomplished very little with their lives.")
That said, I totally just composed the quartet’s comeback hit. Sing it to the tune of Justin Timberlake’s "SexyBack" (click here if you want musical accompaniment) and watch the kidz go krazee!
We’re bringin’ tragic back
We’re so washed up that we will work for snacks
We all like Popeye’s but Chris likes Big Macs
You best look elsewhere if you like six-packs
(Don’t look at our abs!)
[Bridge]
Timberlake
Yes he’s our homeboy, so is Nick Lachey
We knew Lance Bass before he said "I’m gay"
Spell badd with two Ds, that is just our way
(Take it to the chorus!)
[Chorus]
"Summer Girls"
That was a hit
LFO
Now you know
Survey says we should get a clue
What would you do?
Career’s all done?
Head to VH1
And get your tragic on
Comments (1-24) of 24 Add your comment
Here’s a radical idea. Show old videos for an hour. I’d watch that.
mike, you need vh-1 classic. they show old videos most of the time. check your local listings.
Like we need more boy band has beens holding up signs that say:”will pose for food”. Can we get members of Wet,Wet,Wet,and Take That in there too? At least Gary Barlow could carry a note. Please. Everyone I have two words: THE TUBE. All videos all the time.
Yet another Popwatch wish granted! I had asked for the reunion of the lamest of the lame dudes in one super lame band, and here they are. Thank you Popwatch, for making my pop culture dreams come true. Now, find me an animator for my “Senator Darth Vader” series and a buyer for my scooter stereos and all my wishes will have come true…
I suppose you do know that this was done in England last year and its members included one of the losers from New Kids on the Block…can´t remember the name of the group they formed but it tanked…why do they think it will be successful here??? GRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
i hate that i was able to sing that without musical accompaniment. thanks michael!
this was so hilarious and i could sing along with musical accompaniment quite easily. I’ll be singing “get your tragic on” all weekend now.
That was hilarious, Michael!
Damn! That was funny and yet so tragic at the same time.
I used to be a fan of VH1C, but that channel has been run into the ground. They no longer show videos all the time.:( Now it is mostly documentaries, made for VH1 movies, and basically a load of junk we have seen a zillion times.
As for a reality show about has been boy band stars (these guys were actually stars at one time?), this is another one of those concepts that does not appeal to me. I wonder how big the check was for this humiliation?
YOU TUBE ROCKS!!!!!!
So does that mean ‘NSYNC isn’t getting back together?
You all are so cynical! What I say is Chris Kirkpatrick is Effie White,and this is his time to stick it to Deena Jones (Justin T.) Who’s with me? signed, Hopeless Romantic
Think maybe they’ll actually sing this time instead of lip-synching like they used to? Snap!
I think its no coincidence that the same people that listen to that music would watch reality shows.
Omigosh!! Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick and Jeff Timmons (and some other guys) are going to be on TV? I knew 2007 was going to rock! Whoohoo!! Seriously — I’m totally in love with those guys.
Just because it’s not your cup of tea doesn’t mean you have to denigrate it. Additionally, those guys are doing the record for charity, which is never a bad thing.
Its being made to sound like Chris, Jeff, Bryan and Rich are four has beens just sitting around doing nothing, just being put together because they need the work. This is not the case everyone involved is working on their own material in addtion to this. What isnt being mentioned is that the series itself is being filmed at Chris Kirkpatrick’s home as we speak. The goal is to record a 3 song CD with the proceeds going to charity. I for one am looking forward to hearing their material and watching the show.
The goal is for us to record a three-song mini-CD with all the proceeds to go for cancer research.
I quit watching VH1 when it stopped showing the “cream of the crop.” This is just another fiasco in their recent history. What a shame, it used to be good televison viewing;but that is in the past.
Wow. Your the one who’s tragic. You haven’t seen or heard any of this yet you feel the need to bash it (more than likely to make yourself feel better about your own life). And not mentioning that the whole project is being done to produce a charity single just shows how shallow you truely are. Bravo.
Mildly amusing, except for the sentence “dealing with the trauma of turning 30 for people who’ve accomplished very little in their lives.” Uninformed, lazy-thinking, going for the easy laugh.
Lame. Also, it’s for charity. Did I mention uninformed?
I love how people bash on boy bands without probably even have listened to any of them. *NSYNC was an outstanding group and worked hard to get where they were. They are 5 talented guys who more talent in their pinky fingers than most of the haters out there. I for one, am happy to see Chris Kirkpatrick out there, still in music and doing this reality show for charity.
People like Michael Slezak are probably just bitter that he could never get the female attention that Chris and other guys from “boy bands” got.
I just want to see I HATE MY 30’s. Sounds funny.
wow!
i suddenly feel i miss chris soooooo much:D
I’m sorry, but Jeff Timmons is like the uncle from Napoleon Dynamite. He’s so washed up that all he talks about is back in 98 degrees and pays some girls to hand him balloons on stage. That or whine about how no one knows who he is. Tonight in Canton OH, he was about to fight some fat dude organizing the show when the guy asked him which of the bands he was with…Who the hell knows who Jeff Timmons is?