Overheard in the parking lot of a Hollywood-area Whole Foods — or was it one of my daydreams? Whichever — you’ve all gone home for the weekend anyway, haven’t you?
Rob: The Tiffster!
Tiffani: How many times have I asked you not to call me that?
Rob: Sheesh! Touchy much?
Tiffani: Sex-tape much?
Rob: Touché.
Tiffani: Mmm-hmm.
Rob: So did you hear Brothers & Sisters is extending my role as a Republican senator for the rest of the season, except that I’ll be listed as a "special guest star."
Tiffani: Fancy! And I just got a recurring role as a "sexy, manipulative, and shrewd businesswoman" on What About Brian.
Rob: Well, that sounds… um… sexy!
Tiffani: Go ahead, you can say it.
Rob: What?
Tiffani: No, I won’t be offended.
Rob: Okay, dude, What About Brian totally blows. Why would you hop aboard that sinking ship?
Tiffani: Well, there’s this little thing. I call it my mortgage.
Rob: Oh, hey, I hear you.
Tiffani: I mean, can you pay my automobills?
[Awkward pause]
Tiffani: Yeah, didn’t think so. And as my agent always says, if you’re gonna take a job for a paycheck, might as well be on a show nobody’s watching.
Rob: Hey, no need to explain. Remember Dr. Vegas on CBS?
Tiffani: What a steaming pile of crap that was! Of course, not as bad as my Fox series Freeway.
Rob: Wasn’t it called Fastlane?
Tiffani: Whatevs.
Rob: Well, I liked that show. Or at least the part where you made out with Jaime Pressly.
Tiffani: Perv! You better get in touch with your inner feminist. Brothers & Sisters is all about the ladies.
Rob: You think?
Tiffani:Are you kidding? Working with that Sally Field-Rachel Griffiths-CalistaFlockhart troika is gonna be like swimming in Lake Estrogen.
Rob: That makes me feel funny.
Tiffani: I’m just sayin’
Rob: Dang! I hadn’t thought about that. How am I gonna get anywhere with this gig?
Tiffani: Use the hypnotic power of your piercing blue eyes!
Rob: H-h-how? How did you know about that?
Tiffani: Because I have that power, too, Rob. I HAVE THAT POWER, TOO!
Rob: Wha?
Tiffani: LOOK INTO MY EYES!
Rob: Holy crap, Tiff! They’re… mesmerizing! I… I… Can I pay your automobills?
Tiffani: Nah, that’s okay, Rob. Just get me a guest spot on your show after mine finally gets canceled.
Rob: [Robotically] I will get you a guest spot on my show after yours finally gets canceled.
Tiffani: Good boy. See you around.
LOL@the robotic voice.
Hrm, I thought only brown-puppy-eyed types like me had that power. Poo!
*puppy dog eyes*
Interesting, I actually like “Fastlane”.
Curious indeed.
Have a good weekend, Slezak, my good man! Cheerio!
I want celebrities to have conversations in my head too!!!!
Haha that was SOOO Funny.
Yup Slelak you are my most fascinating person of 2007. You should totally be on a time cover or something.
Isn’t Tiffani Amber Thiessen like kryptonite to any show that she’s on? For example: Fastlane, Good Morning Miami? I mean, not that they were great shows, but when they bring her on, it’s like the final nail in the coffin.
aww..but i loved fastlane…more for the men than for her though. gotta be honest
Two beautiful and I believe talented people, who always end up on crappy shows. Somebody write something for them please.
“automobills.”
What about “The West Wing,Saved By The Bell,Beverly Hills 90110″ not “killed” by the pretty people! Besides..”Fastlane” was pretty….bad!
okay Slezak, Fantasia obsession aside, you’re a pretty funny guy. I better find out you’re working on a sitcom deal with CBS, those guys are in need of funny; and Slezak is the antidote.
i gotta love the “automobills” reference! this was hilarious and they’re just such pretty people. i love them. they are just soooo pretty. did i mention they were pretty?
i think i am one of the hundreds watching What About Brian.
I actually liked “Fastlane.” It was a guilty pleasure-bad type show I thought, as opposed to a bad-bad show. Or maybe I just was too distracted by Peter Facinelli to notice…
Amen to that. Fastlane was an awesome show! It was on in my first year at university and it was a dorm event. We’d all pile into one room and sit mesmerized at the cars, bling, ladies and gents. I believe it did fairly well ratings wise but got dumped cause it was costing FOX way too much per episode. What I want to know is when it’s coming to DVD! As you know by now, Slezak, from the success of many cr*p shoots, I mean shows like America’s Got Talent and The Simple Life, tv viewers don’t want to be West Winged to death all the time. Sometimes its fun to chill and actually have fun watching some good ol’ Jerry Springer style tv.
I miss the show Fastlane, and Tiffani is hot!
Oh yeah..I watched Fastlane just to look at Thiessen…Oh and the show was entertaining as well. Long live Thiessen…
For those of you that are interested, I’ve seen re-runs on a network called tvone. Not sure how big the network is, but it’s channel 241 on directv