Whitney Houston's auction has a jingle

9302__whitney_lBy now, you may have read the news that Whitney Houston is auctioning off some old music equipment, clothing, and assorted tat (including some of estranged hubby Bobby Brown’s awards) next Tuesday in Irvington, New Jersey. (A list of the items up for bid is now available for your perusal.) What you may not know, however, (perhaps because it hasn’t happened) is that the diva herself has composed and recorded a little ditty to commemorate the event. It’s set to the tune of her classic hit "Saving All My Love for You," so click here to get the background music flowing, and feel free to sing along — so what if your boss is within earshot?

A few Fendi jackets, a white leather chair
Three sets of keyboards, you’ll find them all there
Though I still wear the crown, record sales they are down
So I’m doing what I’ve got to do
And I’m selling all my stuff for you

It’s not very easy, hawking all my loot
Watching the masses, paw my beaded catsuits
And the one I like best, my Versace print vest
Leaves old Whitney feeling so blue
Still I’m selling all my stuff for you

I used to listen to Bobby’s golden records
Love gives you a pass on good taste
So please be patient, just bid a little higher
And don’t let my junk go to wasteaddCredit(“Whitney Houston: Michael Buckner/Getty Images”)

The auction is ending, just three items to go
No bids on my church pew? That’s a "hell to the no!"
‘Cause tonight is the night, my checkbook gets set right
I’ll be making dough the whole night through
While I’m selling all my stuff
Yes I’m selling all my stuff
Yes I’m selling all my stuff for you

No other diva is gonna sell you more
‘Cause tonight is the night, my checkbook it gets right
I’ll be making dough the whole night through
While I’m selling all my stuff
Yes I’m selling all my stuff
Yes I’m selling all my stuff for you

Comments (20 total) Add your comment
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  • Lora

    Slezak, you have pretty much the best life ever.

  • Nick

    LOL! I love it! Hilarious lyrics.

  • Liza

    She also has Dolce and Gabbana tank tops, still folded and in their orginal packaging. I guess she never got around to wearing those free-bees. I hope D&G are insulted, and never gove her anything else. Selling clothes and instruments is one thing, but gold records and awards, that sucks!

  • Penny

    It’s only normal she sells everything, she does have a drug habit to support afterall.

  • Gretchen Weiners

    The Atelier Versace Beaded Cat Suit is all mine. And Michael, you are out of control.

  • EP Sato

    That slot machine looks pretty cool. What’s up with the wierder items though? Do people collect vintage barber chairs? Church Pews? And did Whitney get Bobby’s music awards as part of the divorce settlement?

  • daisyj

    Finally! My collection of celebrity band saws will be complete!

  • Ed

    Michael, those lyrics brought back a surge for Whitney classics!

  • Mahsh

    luvverlyy. po old Whit. She is not in blist no mo.

  • Michelle

    It breaks my heart to see that clear piano sitting up on it’s end like that.

  • aramis

    Slezak, I’m going to echo Lora’s vituperation…I wish I had your life.
    Well a mind like your at the very least.
    As for Whit, well, it’s a sad state of affairs in which we find our quintessential Diva. But alas, if she is to return to greatness a la Mariah Carey, then such obscurities must be shed (and she’s just being smart because if you’re going to dump the trash, why not make a buck or two? Am I right?).

  • beb

    LOL, Slezak! Please take Helen Jung under your wing so she can be half as fabulous as you are (she needs help ASAP).

  • EP Sato

    A few years back, Pete Tomarkin sold off suits he had worn while hosting “Press Your Luck”. That three button brown pinstripe suit from god knows when in the 1980’s still looks PIMP and it was on tv! It was also cool to write out a check for like 20 bucks only to get a suit in the mail from Pete Tomarken a few days later.
    If only Whitney had put her stuff on Ebay, I’d be bidding on that slot machine right now, and getting all upset that daisyj outbid me for Bobby Brown’s old bandsaw.

  • Mandy

    This does not surprise me, afterall, she is a crackhead. Tacky with a capital T! The words to the melody are hilarious!

  • daisyj

    Hey, sorry EP; you snooze, you lose. I’m kinda bummed I missed out on the forklift, though. I think Billy Ocean snaked me with a bid at the last minute.

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