Ryan Seacrest and Carson Daly: The smackdown transcript!

Cr_lYou probably know by now that Ryan Seacrest and Carson Daly are squaring off with competing New Year’s Eve specials come Sunday night — Seacrest sharing the spotlight on Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve 2007 (ABC, 10 p.m.) and Daly headlining New Year’s Eve With Carson Daly, Presented by Chevrolet (NBC, 11:30 p.m.). What you may not know (probably because it didn’t happen) is that the hostbot rivals bumped into each other in a Whole Foods parking lot earlier today, things got heated, and PopWatch has the transcript.

Daly: Well if it isn’t Dick Clark’s little bitch!
Seacrest: Well if it isn’t the New Year’s host who pulled down less than half my audience in 2006!
Daly: At least I get my name in the title of my show.
Seacrest: Ooh, "Presented by Chevrolet"…way to keep it real.
Daly: You just keep drinking out of that Coca-Cola cup on Idol, okay?
Seacrest: And you just keep dreaming about having a New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.
Daly: Fair enough, that title kicks ass.
Seacrest: Mmkay?
Daly: Hey, remember when your daytime talk show got cancelled?
Seacrest: Yeah, just like your late-night talk show got cancelled.
Daly: What are you talking about, dumb-ass? My late-night talk show is still on the air.
Seacrest: Oh, that’s right. How could I forget? It finished right behind that Proactiv infomercial in the Nielsens last week.
Daly: And just ahead of your wretched E! News Daily.
Seacrest: That was so funny I forgot to laugh.
Daly: What are you, in third grade?
Seacrest: I know you are but what am I?
Daly: Remember how you flirted with Simon Cowell all last season?
Seacrest: Remember when all the gossip blogs posted pictures of you looking like Skeletor?
Daly: Remember when all the gossip blogs posted pictures of you making out with Skeletor…er, I mean, Teri Hatcher?

Seacrest: Seriously? You wanna go there? Two words for you: Tara Reid.
Daly: Oh yeah? Three words for you: Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Seacrest: Holy crap! I forgot you dated her. She has the clearest skin.
Daly: I know, dude. She’s prettier than a Disney princess and smoother than a baby’s ass.
Seacrest: Whoa, that reminds me, I’ve got an appointment for a facial in a half hour.
Daly: You do?
Seacrest: Yeah.
Daly: That sounds fun.
Seacrest: Totally.
[Awkward pause]
Seacrest: Wanna come with?
Daly: Dude! I thought you’d never ask

Comments (21 total) Add your comment
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  • Victor Perez

    LOL!! You kill me, Slezak.. i Love it!!

  • mike

    Dick Clark could still knock the crap out of both of them at the same time.

  • mon

    seriously though, can someone tell me what happened to Daly? Why DOES he look like skeletor these days? very scary and sad.

  • Ernesto

    This has got to be the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time, thanks Slezak, one can always count on you LOL!!!!!!Happy new Year!!!!!!!!!

  • BJohnson

    No one can ever top Dick Clark. Yeah and what is up with Carson? I was up late one night and caught a bit of his show. Is he on crack? Man, Mtv wouldn’t have stood for him looking anorexic like that. Put down the pipe and eat something Carson!!!

  • Jen

    Carson was way cuter when he was fat.

  • Tyler

    Uh.. bored much, Slezak?

  • osman

    hahhaa ure my hero

  • aramis

    Seacrest vs. Daly. Who’da thought?
    I swear Slezak, your posts are the highlight of my day (except the American Idol ones, of course, but let’s not go there…)
    “Did you ever know that you’re my hero…”
    Oh, yeah, I SO went there…
    Be cool.
    “…you’re everything I wish I could be…”

  • aramis

    Jen –
    Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Carson always had that leaner post-fratboy-party-days look about him that was attractive in a way that wasn’t for most guys in that particular group…
    Now he’s just awkward looking…if he were a drag queen his name would be “Anita Bisquit”…cause that b!tch be HUNGRY…

  • Riich

    I normally hate these posts, but this one actually cracked me up. :)

  • MJ

    Battle of the Network Weenies. How generic-looking, sexually non-threatening and marginally talented does one have to be to become a TV host?

  • alison

    I used to have such a crush on Carson Daly…when I was 12 and he hosted TRL. Now he’s just scarily skinny (and his talk show is heinously boring.)
    I don’t think I’ll be watching either of these weenies on New Year’s Eve.

  • Jenny

    Sorry but they are both yucky!

  • kiki

    damn thats funny

Page: 1 2
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