An Ode to Rosie

(With apologies to Calvin Trillin… and since I’m apologizing, to Rosie as well.)

i used to love that brash way about you,
that unapologetic way in which you shook up the view
but ro, old girl, you’re getting tired, and so am i,
of the ching chong ping pong flip flop, please stop!

stop making your hasty accusations,
and making light of pleas for reparations.
i’ll relax when you do
i’ll relax when you do.

well, i’m glad you got the expert opinion of your asian makeup lady
sounds like she really convinced you there, maybe.
your publicist seems to think that asians aren’t as funny as you are tee hee
ex-squeeze me, but have you seen the original kims of comedy? (they’re a riot!)

whatever, girl. we’ve all got to roll with the punches
but i’m not going to forget the people who made fun of my lunches,
and who still do, i might add, telling me that kimchi smells like b.o.
it isn’t just happening on the playground, you know.

Comments (28 total) Add your comment
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  • Ep Sato

    What has always gotten me about racism against Asians is that it’s rarely subtle. Exempting Lost, Asian men aren’t portrayed as sexy or cool on tv and aren’t shown shirtless, while Asian women are usually portrayed as sexy dragon ladies. Meanwhile, Asians are one of our fastest growing minority populations and Asians of all origins (India included) are having larger impacts on our national thought and culture everyday. How is it that a minority group that has a higher rate of college attendance and a higher average income than pretty much anyone else in the country continue to get dissed by everyone?
    Helin, for what it’s worth, my hubcap stealing, only blonde haired white woman dating, knife carrying, greasy haired, Spanish Harlem living, happy and always dancing, “me no spik no EENgleesh”, shoeless ghetto blaster owning, put it all on layaway Puerto Rican self can sympathize only too well with the damage other peoples’ insensitivity can cause.

  • Fatima

    watch survivor and you will see Yul who is so perfect in every way, I’m beginning to think he’s the second coming.
    I wasn’t initially too mad at Rosie, but her apology on today’s show was so backpeddling, it really started to offend me.

  • bootsycolumbia

    Is Rosie completely stupid? She didn’t know that ching-chong is an offensive ethnic slur? Really? I’m a white chick from Canada, and hell, I know that! If I called Rosie a fat not nice word meaning lesbian, could I get off by claiming I didn’t know it’s a derogatory word? Probably not, since I wouldn’t have ABC and its lawyers protecting me. What a loser Rosie is, and what a loser this show is. Count me out. I won’t watch it anymore.

  • Kate

    I can’t believe she didn;t know talking like that would offend people. Seriously, Rosie!
    On an unrelated note: Man, I miss kimchi.

  • Jane

    Rosie O’Donnell is a pig. Case closed. If she’s going to get on Kelly Ripa for making homophobic remarks, then argue that her remarks aren’t hurtful to another minority, then she’s a hypocrite. When I was a kid, we had some kids from First Baptist of Visalia, Ca stay at my house. They made fun of this hotdog/croissant concoction that my Mom made. Tricia, one of those Visalian girls, called us “dongers.” A) my mom got the recipe from a can of Pillsbury crescent rolls and B) we aren’t Chinese, but if we were, then what the h3@*? Ignorance is an ugly thing.

  • daisyj

    What’s particularly bizarre to me is how this supposedly great comedienne could come up with something so pathetically juvenile and think it was funny. Seriously, the last time I heard that gag was in my freshman math class when one of the less mentally able boys decided to try it on our Vietnamese teacher, and even a bunch of fourteen-year-olds could tell it was pretty offensive.

  • jenjen

    Once again Rosie puts her big ole foot in her big ole mouth. It’s past time she got her mouth stapled shut. That would help her in more ways than one!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Ben

    As a Chinese American born in NY, what upset me most was her non apology. To essentially say that those people offended don’t have a thick enough skin and that we should expect her to slip up again is horsesh– and exposes her as a racist. What if Michael Richards said that he was sorry, but that saying the N-word is “part of his comedy” and he may slip up and say it again in the future and that Al and Jesse would just have to deal with?? It disgusts me that she believes she can not only say this crap, but then be so defiant in not apologizing. Some “Activist” she is.

  • Ray from PA

    What an obnoxious ass. She gets on her soapbox about Kelly Ripa for a comment that meant nothing, then blatantly offends Asian Americans? Hypocrite. If someone else made a similar comment about lesbians she would be the first to shoot off her huge, fat mouth about how wrong it is, but since it was her it must be ok. Then she half apologizes by saying it’s how her mind works and she may do it again? As far as I’m concerned she confessed to being a racist. I swear to God if I could choose one celebrity that needs to go away and never be heard from again it would be her. I hope the Asian community makes a huge deal over this and ABC cans her to cover their asses.

  • Dallas

    I think everyone is missing the point about Rosie. She is so desperate for attention, that she’s taking the controversial route. Sadly, everyone is playing right into her hand. The saying “There’s no such thing as bad publicity,” defines Rosie to a T. She has become pathetic.

  • Joey Jo Jo

    Bad publicity isn’t necessarily good publicity. Do you think Michael Richards is going to get another job? What about O.J. Simpson (try as he might, the public killed his book and tv deal)? Hopefully this means Rosie will go away. Rosie is a nasty bigot.

  • joy

    I am also particularly annoyed by Rosie’s so-called apology – “sorry, but i didnt know!”. Why can’t she just say she’s sorry? What’s even more ridiculous is the publicist’s statement – “she’s a comedienne, i hope everyone understands her brand of comedy someday”; it’s like “Gosh, you dumb Asians, can’t you take a joke?”
    Why isn’t there a bigger stink about this?

  • harry

    Rock on Helin rock on!!!

  • Allie

    I think people are over-reacting and not just about this issue. If you watch the comedy clubs and special performances by Margaret Cho, she is all the time making fun of her mother’s accent and mother’s super-asianisms. But that’s okay because she’s asian. Black performers will always make fun of other black people for being “ghetto,” etc., but that’s okay because they’re black. Lesbian comedians (including Rosie) make fun of lesbian stereotypes. But as soon as someone from outside of a certain group makes fun of a stereotype within that group everyone jumps on the “bigot” bandwagon. Rosie is guilty of being hypocritical and America is guilty of being up-tight. The real racism, to me, lies in the fact that we can make fun of our own minority group, but can’t take it when other’s do it back.

  • lola

    I also can’t believe that ABC or The View hasn’t taken more flack for this. “Ching-chong, ching-chong…” What year are we in again?? I heard it the first time and laughed not because it was funny but because I couldn’t believe that someone was making this “joke” in f-ing 2006 (almost 2007)!!! It’s surreal.
    Although I have to say (and I’m Asian-American) that while the Ching-Chong thing is totally offensive, it’s way less shocking and problematic than Michael Richards’ outburst, not for the N word, but for the “50 years ago we’d string you up and stick a fork in your a$$” comment that preceded it. That was just plain scary.

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